scotty

Wouldn't be amazed, but seeing as how he was NC's showstopper signing its hard to see this happening. Unless MP doesn't rate him, of course.

"Karren Brady on Piers Morgan", that should play well on Television X. Didnt she sell Peschisolido while she was director at brum? And told him "sorry love, but business is business?" or somesuch.

No. But my point was that its not like a household budget, which is a widely held misconception. If the state sacks a state employee, the state will incur costs in doing so whether we like it or not. Obviously, state departments are overstaffed, but its naive to think we could just sack the ones we think we cant afford and save that amount on their salaries.

Theres a conundrum, though. What if what you spend directly affects your income, and therefore what you can afford? It annoys me when people bang on about the national economy and equate it with a household budget, ie "we only have x amount coming in so we must only spend x amount". If it has to be equated to something, (and thats unreasonable given that the national economy is unique,) then at least compare it to a business. A private business could look at the last few years figures and say "we cant afford to advertise, employ anyone, or retain our transport fleet and premises. We'll have to pay redundancy money and take the other capital losses. That way, the business will be put on a secure footing." Well, if you dont advertise, you wont get any clients, and if youve sacked the workforce you couldnt provide the service anyway. Every employee sacked by government at the moment is likely to go straight onto benefits, and will certainly stop paying tax. They wont just cease to exist, and the state will still be responsible for them.

Thanks, bear. Heres another one for you; A girl went into a bar and asked for a Double Entendre. Except she didn't, because theres no such drink

As I sipped my drink at the hotel bar, a tall, elegant hooker slid onto the next barstool. She leaned towards me and murmured "if you're staying here alone, perhaps you'd like to buy me a drink." "I am alone," I said, "but I'm not looking for company." "Why not?" she pouted. "Don't you find me attractive?" "Of course I do", I replied, "but this is the wrong time. You see, I buried my wife this morning." "Oh, I'm so sorry," she sympathised. "How did she die?" "I just told you," I said. "I buried her."

Brilliant spot, bexy, lmfao

No problem Nick, and what else would I do with my time?

Japanese scientists have developed an MRI scanner which can "read" a person's dreams with 60% accuracy. If they were to put me through it and assume that my sister-in-law is going to be involved, I reckon I could boost that percentage to 93.

As do I, so its got to be the Ramones "I wanna be cremated", followed by the Doors with "Come on baby light my pyre".

"Collectors Item. The match-ball Reading last scored with during their brief spell in the EPL. Signed by the goalscorer, Adam Le Fondre."

If we beat Reading, I'll believe we are as good as safe. And I think we will beat them comfortably, by two or three goals. (sits back and hopes that statement doesnt come back to haunt him.....)

Historically, yes. Didn't seem as funny to me tbh. Incidentally, did you know Di Canio has petitioned Sunderland Borough Council for the removal of all prominent lampposts, just in case?

There is a very fine line between liberation and invasion. We in the west tend to "liberate" countries only when we have a direct economic interest in doing so. Other countries, naturally, are the ones who invade, and any citizens of the countries we liberate who happen to disagree with their enforced liberation are simply insurgents and therefore the enemy. Just ask Bush or Blair, they'll confirm it.

Paulo Di Canio has just issued all Sunderland fans with club uniforms, and announced a pre-season friendly tour of Poland.

That Liverpool miss was a surprise, but I reckon he was as shocked as anyone to find himself 1 on 1. Looked like he was expecting the offside, and that was just enough of a distraction.

I'm with eric and once bitterne on this one. Get Prutton back in, and once he's done the waving bit, assault the officials. Sorted.

Le Fondre?

I doubt redknapp will stay on if qpr go down. He'll trouser his payoff, have a whinge about how his heart wasnt in it, then f*ck off to the highest bidder.

When Terry scored against us on saturday, the replays showed him shoving our defender out of the way from behind. Twice today, Welbeck got pulled up for the exact same offence.

I wasn't being entirely serious, vectis. Didnt even know until I put 5-Live on today that he was playing for the fishfiddlers. I dont begrudge him that at all.

Yeah, I don't really begrudge him it. Just seems weird after the L1 promotion season.

....for the skates. Judas.

I know. #whoosh