rallyboy

Not reintroducing the Monkey Petting Zoo when funds were available has proved a costly error.

After years of deafening silence the forgotten island of portsmyth awakes from its slumber, the harsh and bleak wilderness finally offering a crumb of comfort. The stinking tramp rises from his piss-riddled cardboard hovel and laughs at the man who has downsized to a two-bedroom flat.

Played well for 45 mins?....Great.😕 These fuckers owe an apology to Nige, Rickie, Fonte, Lallana, Kelvin etc - the effort that those guys put in to get us back to the Premier League, all pissed down the drain with no fight, just a fucking whimper. Markus set us back on the right path, but all of that work has been undone by a sideways and backwards total shitshow of a season, they should all be ashamed.

What a weird season.

I hope we prioritised abandoned cats and dogs over any British Army support workers again. Hey you there, in the white coat, yeah, with the stethoscope and all the correct paperwork for the UK, step off the plane - there's a rabid spaniel needs your place, so jog on and let the growling frothy-mouthed fella through, he needs to get to a photo opportunity.

So he's banned for the whole summer...a punishment as relevant as impounding Fred West's cement mixer.

What an incredible gesture - the government has kindly done a U-turn and is now allowing NHS doctors to return home to the UK from Sudan. Well done, a really heartwarming story of generosity, red tape and ideology.

I think Ralph, Jones and Selles have all demonstrated that if given the whole season they would have relegated us, perhaps with more points, perhaps not, but all three have been on course for disaster. We just chose to mix up some sort of vague management shitshow cocktail that blurs the issue. The squad clearly lacks quality, tactical direction, commitment, maybe even fitness, so no one escapes criticism. Some like Lavia are less responsible, but no one is innocent, everyone has contributed to what we are now, the worst team in a very poor bunch. To me it feels a bit like relief - we've been in the ring with heavyweights for too long and we've been battered so much it's no longer fun, we need to recover at a lower weight. Pity that it's the players who chucked the towel in over the rope - these fuckers have written their names into club history. But the buck stops upstairs with the guys who can change things when they are going wrong - it's been a truly dreadful performance at the very top.

All I saw tonight was a bunch of guys working hard, on top of their game and entertaining an appreciative Southampton crowd who had a bloody good night for thirty odd quid. I chose the Peter Hook gig down the road because I couldn't stomach another St Marys shitshow rearranged to clash with a proper night out. Couldn't even give the season ticket away, but like the players, I couldn't give a fuck. Condolences to anyone who attended, you missed a great gig.

With so many officers lost it is now a police force packed with inexperienced perverts and crooks - the worst kind! At least they're going to be issued with boots, I wouldn't want clueless perverts policing the streets barefoot, and that's what we'd have if Starmer was in charge, because he's on the side of criminals, he's famous for it. Apparently.

I hope so, he's as dreadful as some of ours.

Meslier is in much worse form than Bazunu - that nearpost goal that handed Everton three points was ridiculous, and could well be a pivotal mistake in their season.

Though most fans would have a better plan at this point. Too many stats, analysts and laptops involved, surely we just need some common sense - Set-up to have some attacking threat, perhaps with some urgency. Put players in their best roles. Practice defending set pieces. Players give 100% and try to look like they care. Instill the idea that if we do go down, we will go down fighting. It's not rocket science.

She was, and clearly still is, absolutely clueless. Possibly the thickest cabinet minister in years - quite a feat in an incredibly competitive category. The members need to have a hard look at themselves and what they did, and I don't mean about the follow up to Sound of the Suburbs.

You two need to get a room.

The only polite way to gauge proper public opinion after the election would be another referendum which would be just another clown show, so I'm not sure that's a great idea. Also the national embarrassment of having to ask the EU if we could talk about a return would be too much humble pie for most people to stomach. I think we just have to accept that it was an act of self-harm, mainly supported by people who didn't grasp the detail of the consequences or understand the ramifications. Many of those people accept that now, but there is still a vocal minority who through stubbornness pretend they like the way the UK has become a laughing stock and is destined to become just a little island off Europe. Saints bottom of the Prem, UK bottom of the G20 - great times. At least we have the sunlit uplands of the Championship to look forward to, financially we'll be much better off there, taking back control of our own future without that nasty Sky money, it's a great move...

The change at Palace has demonstrated how badly wrong we have got our managerial appointments this season. For a former manager to come out of retirement and change the course of their whole season in two games, just shows how the delay in sacking Ralph and then the appointment of Jones condemned us to relegation - a path confirmed by asking Selles to save the shitshow of a season. Yes, the players have been dreadful, but so were the Palace players until someone with half a brain got them organised, playing in their correct positions and in a system that they all understand. The buck stops at board level - it's been a shocking performance by them.

I can't recall seeing a team so tactically astute at exposing weaknesses. The way their back four often just stood on the ball in their own half and waited to see what we would do before reacting, then in the blink of an eye with slick passing and movement they were in our box. I hate losing to crap teams via scrappy goals, but yesterday was a masterclass, and a clear indication of the difference in quality that we all knew before kick-off. Anyone who has just decided we are going down as a result of yesterday must have been on the frigging moon for the last three years

Man City are all hype. Haaland is bang average, he's no good in the air and too easily knocked off the ball, he's just not strong enough for the Premier League - he's like a slow Adam Armstrong without the football brain. As for De Bruyne, Grealish and Foden, they have no end product so it's easy to defend, you just need to back off them and let them run at you, they rarely create anything. Comfortable home win, hopefully the nurses will let me watch it.

Weird how some people miss the point on nearly every single occasion.

News Police? We could do with some proper police first. I don't think anyone objects to news. It's when advertorial outlets like GB News or Fox dress up PR as news, when in reality they're just pumping out carefully-crafted messaging approved by their financial backers, aimed at the easily-led, and it certainly seems to attract them. Sadly for GB News the numbers aren't there, perhaps the UK isn't quite thick enough for them yet, but if you look on social media, it's getting there.

That Twitter thread was interesting with actual detail and facts, rather than Suella's distorted electioneering shit. There is clearly a specific problem within the problem, perhaps complicated by the likes of Yaxley-Lennon who works to a very narrow agenda and is sharply selective about which cases he wants to highlight - we need facts rather than thinly-disguised campaigning. For anyone to ignore sexual abuse because they were worried about being called racist is insane, but then again politics is a post-truth arena where lies go unchallenged daily, the Met looks like the biggest criminal gang in London and blatant corruption in government is now just an accepted perk. The Home Secretary is talking big but doing very little, mainly because she is so far out of her depth - maybe less of the campaigning and the lying, and more of the actual governing might be nice, addressing all sexual abuse, by whoever.

Lee Barnard?

I feel sorry for Nathan, he thinks he's on his way to the Premier League... Unless of course his loan was an act of genius - send him and Smallbone out there early so they're up to pace as first team starters next season...

It's all to play for, the gap is only three points....says no one sensible who has ever seen a shit team locked at the bottom of a table before. Where the fuck are goals coming from, especially when you can't defend? #stilldoomed