rallyboy

Heavily possession-based football that often leans towards style rather than results and requires capable full backs, a clinical striker and patience from fans? 😨 I thought we'd just tried that and it wasn't a roaring success - I hope he can hit the ground running and deliver something fresh straightaway.

He's got more kids than he has supporters.

Claiming that Boris isn't a liar has to be the 'bravest' hill to die on - and if you don't know where it is, it's the huge ugly one adjoined to Mount Brexit, the only hill in the world with so few uplands it's a fucking crater.

Are we able to get the PA volume increased for the new season? It was so quiet sometimes that people in southern France struggled to hear the fucking music.

People who never clean their kettles - they're the same fuckers who vigorously pour it immediately after boiling while the lumps of shit are still floating around, thus filling your hot drink with a pile of crap.

What ordinary fans did for Ron was the best of the Southampton Way, magnificent - and well deserved. Players and managers come and go, and some command respect through their achievements - the likes of Souness, Poch, Shearer, Koeman, Ings, even VVD. But however much you might command respect, no amount of medals will make people love you, affection is not your decision. Stokes had it, and Rodrigues, Ricky has it, Franny, Matt still does, and Ron definitely had it.

Sounds like she was the Ed Sheeran of her time - heard something, might have borrowed it a bit to sell...

Goodbye Premier League, not sure I'll really miss you, it's not been right for a long time. Yeah, I wanted you, but you turned out to be style over substance, a weekly battle to keep our heads above mediocrity, and those last few years have been like like domestic abuse. Oh I know, there were a few highlights, the odd win, some good times, but I cannot recall one that left more of an impression on me than the horrendous turgid soul-destroying home performances of recent years. It's been toxic, sideways, pointless, backwards, gutless - and now we're through I don't even care, I just want to find some happiness. So keep your stupid kick off times and your VAR, keep your dodgy refs shafting us, keep your fucking light show, your cardboard signs asking for shirts, your ridiculous handball rules and your away fans in the home sections, I'm off to try and rediscover a bit of joy. Bye.

I'm no happy clapper but after several years of appalling value for money, £500 to keep the club afloat and hopefully see the odd good game and some wins doesn't seem too bad.

This is as bad as when we appointed that ex-squaddie from Grimsby, or that physio bloke from Scunthorpe.

Despite all the evidence to the contrary and the fact that we have been by far the worst team of a terrible bunch, I still can't shrug off the deranged optimism that we might get something on Sunday. Blind faith brings us back - sadly that faith normally lasts less than ten minutes.

Error-riddled newspaper with hilariously low circulation and an unusable website designed by a toddler, desperately seeks the love of toothless simpletons by promoting childishly dull non-campaign.

Rishi is emerging as a no-trick pony. His only response to any situation is to parrot bland slogans about delivering and stopping boats, he has literally no other mode. At least he has his basketball career to fall back on.

If they do manage to get all that done by 8.30 tonight as promised, I think that's fair enough. Infrastructure before shareholders.

Any player who kept us up over the years is probably entitled to ask what the fuck that gutless, sideways, lazy, chaotic season was all about.

Just when you think the day couldn't get any worse he fucking rolls up.

Keith Granger.... 😊

Good, the damage that pair of chancer cunts have done to the UK is enormous, the more unhappy they are, the better off the UK is. Fuck em.

I'm not sure anyone will be too upset at the shock of this relegation. It's been on the cards since October so it shouldn't come as a surprise. For me, leaving the Dell was worse than getting relegated. As for the game, whatever - though I'd rather they didn't turn it on now when it's far too late and go down by a narrow margin.

Ralph would have taken us down, Jones would have taken us down, Selles has. Look above them for the real mistakes - the whole club has become riddled with mediocrity. Start again - clear the deadwood, fresh start, new direction, perhaps with some pride on show and some fucking entertainment along the way.

Worst performance of the season? Probably in the boardroom.

People who assume that everyone drinks, so their default setting for any present is to give a fucking bottle. Tee total or recovering alcoholic, you're getting alcohol for your birthday!

It's just style over substance, parroted soundbites aimed at the easily-led, but when even Dover doesn't buy the Stop the Boats nonsense, the game is up. We need policies and action right now, not shallow slogans and pathetic distractions. Too many dead cats, not enough quality at the top - we've just endured the least-talented and most corrupt couple of cabinets in living memory.

Has Rishi played a blinder?

Only 22? It feels like more.