Lighthouse

But why would we sell? What’s our motivation to only break even on a player who just signed a year ago and has since added a year of PL football and an England cap to his CV?

I’m not sure why we’d accept less than £30m for THB, which is what we got for JWP, who was on the fringes of the England squad and a few years older. As it happens I’m not convinced anyone will pay that this summer and think there’s a reasonable chance he might stay, likewise Dibling.

How many Championship clubs have won the Champions League?

What would be your preferred phraseology for the 31st round of games being played?

If he shaved his head, wore a dirty vest covered in baked bean stains and shouted, “get it in the f**king mixer,” a lot, might you find it easier?

Neither did Lallana or Taylor, we still signed them.

For me it was his ignorant, patronising comments following the just stop oil protests at Silverstone a few years ago, when he basically implied he didn't care about putting lives in danger because it was for the greater good. Don't care what his opinions on Israel are.

I'm not sure in which world £12m buys Sainz but sadly it's not this one. He's 24 and the Championship's second top scorer with 18. £12m buys you a Man City youth product or a maybe from the Dutch Eredivisie these days, I doubt Norwich would touch anything less than £20m.

I wouldn't pay too much attention. He posted the same thing about Mislav Orsic.

Whilst that does follow logically, the idea of Man Utd in particular being relegated is just sooooooooo f**king funny that I have to go with Dr. K. on this one.

If Cooper was guaranteed to get you promoted then there’d be about five or six clubs every season fighting to offer him £20m for a season’s work. He’s had success in the past but he’s still far from a nailed-on promotion machine, so yes there is still risk attached.

Cool story, but all those players are under contract and have naff all to do with the released list.

I'm not sure what you're really expecting to see. The only first team players out of contract next month are our fourth choice keeper, Lallana, whose body we may donate to medical science, and KWP who's definitely off.

Sunday, 4pm, COYR etc.

That’s very obviously not true though, isn’t it.

Correct, he should never have been in charge of recruitment last summer. It was a ridiculous void of accountability and responsibility for a PL club to find themselves opening.

That’s a nice rousing speech but what is it you actually suggest fans do?

No, I think it shows that this shower of sh*te isn’t capable of anything resembling consistent, meaningful results under any management or playing strategy. Martin tried patience and passing, Martin tried going more direct, Rusk is playing for a 0-0 in every game. None of it works, quelle surprise.

It’s not doing any heaving lifting at all, we’ve all been comfortably relegated with multiple fixtures still to play. Nobody is going into a final day relegation nail biter on 35 point. Leicester are officially the best of the three and they went through three Saints managers and two Popes without a goal at home. For context, we went down on 25 points two years ago and many people were going through the nauseating, "it’s hopeless we’ll be lucky not to drop straight through to League 1, " drama queen routine. Now all three teams are that bad but only Saints will be talked about as struggling next year.

You can if you like, but I'd like to think most fans aren't that much of a drama queen. I can absolutely guarantee that nobody is saying the same about Ipswich and Leicester, who've both been almost as bad as use this season. In fact I'd wager most Saints fans would have them as odds on for the automatic promotion spots.

All fairly comfortable in the end. Abbott the main difference but a decent game from Fuller too.

I haven't the faintest clue why anybody ever thought this. Genuinely not a Scooby why anyone would think one of our youth team coaches, who's only ever managed at National League level, would get more of a tune out of this abysmal collection of players than Martin or Juric.

His team has won six of the last eight PL titles and his ‘failure season’ could well end up with third in the table and a cup final. I don’t care how much money they’ve spent, United have proven how little that matters if you’re badly managed.

It reminded me of The Naked Gun, when the umpires started squaring up to each other.

I've never seen the doctors kicking off before.