Lighthouse

The problem with that is it's a job predicated entirely on reputation and image. The likes of Tiss, Neville, Carra, Merson, Keane, Henry etc. are on there because they were reputable players at the top of their game. There are retired League 2 players who are just as knowledgeable, coherent and witty but they don't come with the same prestige and marketability. The problem is when you start sanding away at that reputation with tripe about COVID, massacres and Biden's laptop, kicking a football around 25 years ago is quickly forgotten about and your reputation becomes a liability, not a selling point.

The worst part about it is that I'm really not sure that he has, we got him because he wasn't wanted by 11th place Everton. For all the media guff about our boy coming home, he just wasn't that good.

How many angles are there to the raped corpses of defenseless women and children being dumped in piles in the street, with first hand accounts from survivors saying, "I watched drunk Russian soldiers come in and do this."? I feel rather bad that I haven't been open minded enough to see the positive side. Ah right, so I won't find one single mainstream media report questioning or criticising the actions of the Tories? If I look on the Indy, Guardian or BBC websites it's just wall to wall praise for glorious leader Boris?

Some people just need to be contrary, it's their identity and manifests in a lot of different way. There's no shortage of people claiming the likes of MLT were proven right about COVID, although the unfortunate problem with proving things is that it requires proof.

Good, get Pahars in instead. Just double check his views on 9/11 and the moon landings first.

Good, really wouldn't be upset if all three left. Redmond has been above average in occasional lumps but that really is about as kind as I can be about him. The other two are just non-entities and wage pits. Djenepo will probably go abroad somewhere, the other two will be seen as having valuable Prem experience by one of the promoted clubs. With 7 sub-standard (apart from Stu) players competing for those 2 places in the team, it's an area we really need to focus on. I'd try to shift those three and Moi and bring in only two.

Supposing you have a young child and I tell him/her that I believe sticking your fingers in an electric socket tickles and makes a silly noise. Should that opinion be allowed?

Actually I won’t, thank you Malfoy.

Some things in life are more important than football. A three year old girl being tied up, raped, murdered and dumped on a pile of other civilian bodies trumps a last minute equaliser at West Ham in my book. The bloke is an absolute sausage jockey of the highest level and I just can’t distinguish his footballing talents from his abject failings as a human being.

Chipping away? This is holocaust denial levels of sick and twisted. Is he still a club ambassador? I’d be rethinking that if I was in charge.

Honestly, I’ve got to the point where I can’t even enjoy his goals anymore because of how much of a c*nt he is. It would be like trying to enjoy an R Kelly or Lostprophets album. I try not to pay attention but his posts sometimes pop up at the top of my Twitter feed in the ‘people you follow also follow…’ bit. Innocent civilians being raped and butchered just for being there, at the hands of a foreign regime which claims they have no right to exist. Tiss’ take on it all… "wHaT abOuT hUNteR BIdEn’s LapToP?!" D*ckhead.

I'm aware of that but there are no prizes handed out for goals players would have scored if they'd been fit. In the last three seasons he's score 2, 11 and 1 goals in the League. Barely 5 per season on average, we can get that from Che Adams. Bale is going to be 33 in summer, he's not going to suddenly find another gear.

That was last season. This season he has one goal for Madrid, the same as Long.

That natural goal scorer has 1 league goal, against Levante. If we’re comparing him with anyone right now it’s Shane Long. Those are the key words here. If you can arrange to sign 2013 Bale, rather than 33 year old, injured, golf playing Bale then great. I’m aware of that but he isn’t any more Welsh as he gets older. He’s linked to Cardiff now because that’s a reasonable barometer of what he might contribute over the next couple of years.

Pretty simple, this summer marks ten years since promotion. Pick your strongest XI, formation, 9 subs, a manager and 5 more players for your 25 man registered squad. 8 players must be home grown but for the sake of simplicity, we’ll ignore the extra, under 21 squad players rule. I’m going with 4-2-3-1, managed by Poch. Boruc KWP - Virgil - Toby - Bertrand JWP - Wanyama Mané - Davis - Tadic Pellè Subs: Forster, Lovren, Clyne, Shaw, Romeu, S. Armstrong, Lallana, Gabbiadini, Ings Squad players: Stekelenburg, Fonte, Morgan, Cork, J Rod

I don’t understand why anyone would want him on any sort of deal at all, other than pointless nostalgia. We’ve already had Theo ‘come home’ after no one else wanted him, look how that’s going.

What would be great about it? He is frequently unfit and his commitment is questionable at best. The fact that he is actually linked to bottom half Championship Cardiff is probably a fairly good indicator.

No, what's that?

We sent a couple of our best men down to the galley to deal with him but he lured them into a refrigerator, knifed them and set off a bomb in the microwave. We figured that as long as he’s confined below the third deck, he’s not a threat.

The fact that you would compare Putin and Tony Blair tells us everything we need to know about your political analysis. I think it probably needs to slap a couple of people a bit harder.

OF derby 1-1 after 6 minutes.

I'd have thought we'd get a fair amount of Armstrong's £15m back in summer. He's still a decent Championship striker, somebody hoping to chase promotion next season will probably take him on.

Watching a documentary on Channel 4 about Chernobyl. When asked what the most difficult aspect of dealing with the ordeal was Gorbachev replied, "getting the information." A whole culture built on telling people above you what they want to hear.

What an absolute weapon. He looks like a 1916 Bolshevik soldier, who was sh*gging some woman when her husband came home and had to make a quick exit out the bedroom window.

Absolute ball sack of a VAR decision, both players had a dig in at each other. Varane’s leg was only there because he messed up his challenge.