Lighthouse

People are talking about the likes of Pope and Henderson being £40m. We’re going to have to get an inexperienced player of some description, be he foreign or lower league. Niemi had only ever played in the SPL when we signed him and that’s barely Championship standard.

I haven’t the faintest clue how good this mush is, whether he’s being bought to come straight in or even if he’s the only ‘keeper we’re after. If we’re losing Forster, Willy and Lewis there’s clearly room to bring in more than one. Joe Hart went from being a League 1 player to competing for titles with Man City practically overnight, so being better than two of the crappest regular keepers in the PL isn’t beyond the realms of possibility. This is more than a little premature for someone who’s usually first to laugh at ‘hysterical wet tarts p*ssing their knickers.’

This based on a rumour about a ‘keeper on Twitter, two days before the transfer window has even opened?

I fail to see the relevance.

I’d go beyond ‘revisionist’ and just say it’s completely untrue and around a year out of sync with reality. Forster was dropped by MoPe after letting in 5 goals on Boxing Day in 2017. He didn’t play again all season, then made one rather random appearance in a 3-0 defeat at West Ham the year after, then went on loan. Whatever the truth is with regards to Forster, it comfortably predates Ralph’s tenure in charge.

So you never buy any petrol?

People sharing holiday photos on social media with cocky captions like, "how’s your week going?" You went on holiday, well done; this time next week you’ll be back pushing spreadsheets around some office meeting which could have been an email.

No, the mistake there would be not signing another ‘keeper. There is no scenario this summer which will make me think it was a mistake to let him go (ignoring the fact that he is no longer ours to let go anyway).

It’s official, he signs for Spurs. Good luck to him.

That’s always been a myth which annoyed me. He may have been wildly inconsistent in front of goal but I never saw anything resembling a lack of effort. Rasiak and Stern John were the lazy strikers back then. Saganowski was alway a willing worker, plus he also had a decent run of about 6 goals in 8 games when he came back from Aalborg under Mark Wotte.

He started in the first game of the ML era - Millwall at home, 1-1. Remember it well. Think he played about half a dozen times under AP and left in January.

Southgate is just McLaren with nice fixtures.

Er…. What!?

He wasn’t drunk.

After all the noises we’ve been making about signing the right people, scouting different leagues and long term projects; signing Phil Jones would be the equivalent of buying your wife a bag of charcoal from Londis at 8pm on Christmas Eve.

Stonking power play that. With Vince and McD opening we might just sting a few wins together

I feel like the metric system is better for men's self esteem in general. Saying you have a 76mm ding dong just sounds more impressive than 3 inches.

I don’t know about this vote, it lacks the fun and camp of Eurovision.

Criteria #1 for me, in any position, is being fit enough to actually get onto the pitch nine games out of ten. For that reason I’ll pass on Bale, AOC, Jones and any other, "hey wouldn’t it be great if he came here and stayed fit!" Player.

I’d probably take Bergwijn for £15-20m. He’s looks decent enough in fleeting spells for Spurs although he mostly seems to be an 89th min sub.

When the transfer windows opens, can we just trade BoJo for Estonia’s PM?

You’d have to pair him up with his partner, Frank Magnet.

It’ll be Cardiff, surely.

Kids, don’t make me pull this car over.

Except we’ve been through four different ‘generals’ since 2016 and they’ve been commanding a steadily declining group of foot soldiers, lead by the same group of NCOs. Simply chopping the highest ranking official you can find isn’t necessarily the solution to everything.