Lighthouse

I never thought I’d be saying this to you Turks but I can achieve an erection in less than 20 minutes.

Brentford would have gone down without Eriksen, Leeds just barely scraped survival. I can see why they’d be more likely favourites.

Good grief. Firstly, I made it about 20 seconds through that poem before I had to mute it. Secondly, is our ‘culture’ really just two minutes of generic diversity cliches being ticked off?

We should get the CIA to go and train them on guerrilla warfare and sell them some arms. I can’t see it backfiring in any way in the future.

I went to see Hawks at the Ageas instead. They were very… Saintsy.

Just got back, Fuller aside that was a pretty forgettable batting performance. Thought we weren’t going to make three figures at one point. Also the end of May should be warmer than this but at least it wasn’t rained off.

Only comes in men’s sizes. The chicks can stick to their netball dresses.

Dr Alan Grant completes Chelsea takeover.

I fully agree, ridiculous things. I first started hating them in sixth form, when they were compulsory for only the boys and we’d get told off for undoing our top button when it was 29 degrees with no air con.

I assume it’s possible for a legit ticket to have been reprinted/copied/screenshotted and sent around or resold to multiple people. Obviously the barcode readers won’t let you in if your ticket has already been scanned in, which will just lead to angry arguments with the stewards.

Third one looks like it leaked from the guttering on the conservatory.

Green is my favourite colour but that looks like the stuff my scarifier brings out the lawn. Hopefully it’s nothing like what we’ve actually gone for.

Cliches in Police dramas, like people who didn’t do it going to great lengths to look as shifty as possible for no apparent reason. Saying things like, "I didn’t kill him… but I wish I had!" Or looking guilty by awkwardly trying to hide some embarrassing but trivial secret the police don’t actually give a crap about.

We don’t need experience, we need good. This isn’t some ‘92 class of talented kids or first timers just promoted from the Championship. We have several players in their thirties who’ve been playing at this level for a decade. They have nothing to learn from Drinkwater or any other ‘experienced’ player.

No, I’d happily see the back of five of our six so-called creative players. There’s basically no risk, we get absolutely naff all from any of them. I wouldn’t put any order or preference on them, if we get an offer for Moi but not Walcott I’d still take it. He was also instrumental in being a hopeless non-event against Burnley, Newcastle, Chelsea, Villa, Liverpool and many other games.

And? That’s like being the 4th best member of Steps.

Please don't use a capital letter in that. 🤢

No goals in any of the finals, no glorious moments or iconic cup final memories. No 'taters shouting the Scouse version of Aguero!!! or Solskjaer!!!! repeated endlessly for years to come.

Phew. Two domestic cups, fairly good damage limitation in the 'sh*t we'll be hearing about for the next four decades' stakes.

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/why-the-russia-media-thinks-britain-is-on-the-verge-of-cannibalism Okay, which of you lot wants to be first? Not whelk, I reckon he’s a bit tough and gristly.

You’re rather generously including a hat trick against Newport and a goal against Swansea in that. He is as bad as people make out, the majority of games just pass him by.

I’ve been laid off in the past. It was a 5 minute phone call from the personnel guy at our contracting agency, not a word from our CEO, catering dept. Or any of the board members. The message is the same, however it’s delivered. I wouldn’t be precious about receiving the news via phone or video call. If anything I’d be annoyed at getting dragged in to work for something they could have told me in two minutes over the phone.

No sooner have I said it, we lose 4 for 17. Oh well.

Decent start to the chase, albeit first wicket just gone. Got my tickets for Monday against Somerset and going with a big group to the Essex game. Should be decent.

I’ve never understood this line of thinking when it’s so at odds with what we see on the pitch. People say this about Kelvin, JWP, Long and Walcott but our performances look devoid of confidence, cohesion and at times effort. It seems to me the value of having, "a great man around the club," is minimal at best and that if they like him that much they can go and play golf on their day off.