Lighthouse

Likewise, although for me it was all the chavy ’banter’ with Scousers, which just grew tiresome after a while.

He caught something ‘playing Monopoly’ but it wasn’t Covid-19.

Differently? Guessing you’ve never been on a night out in Crawley.

You've never had a spicew*nk?! It's magic!

I'd say the death rate is probably about the same but fewer of the milder cases are being reported or tested. There will be plenty of people out there who've got/had it and stayed at home watching TV, without telling anyone.

"non-essential."

It'll be interesting to see if we can find out the one true religion through all of this. Obviously if you're praying to the right god you've got a much greater chance of survival, so the stats should eventually start to back this up.

We can't just self isolate for a few months and hope the disease will die out. All that means is that as soon as the restrictions are lifted, there will be a mass outbreak again because there are bound to be people around the world who still have it without knowing. We need these measures now to stop the NHS being overwhelmed by an enormous flood of cases all at the same time but this isn't a long term solution. China are: 1 - Lying 2 - Going to have exactly the same problem the minute they lift restrictions. I think it's going to be a balancing act. First we get the rate of infection under control to a point where hospitals can reasonably manage the number of cases they have. Then we will have to relax and tighten certain restrictions on a pro-rata basis in order to balance life with the capacity of our hospitals.

He's right though. Whilst we need to do everything we can now to stop the spread of the virus, the measures we are taking now simply aren't a ling term solution. You can't just lock the entire population in their houses/appartments indefinitely and hope we find a vaccine. People will go mad. We'll have a depression, both mentally and economically. The first test is pretty much pointless. You could test negative, walk outside and pick it up from a hand rail, 10 feet from the practice. The antibody test could be more useful long term, if you could then get a certificate allowing you to travel, work with at risk groups, etc.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it." - Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black.

TBF he has been to Kings Cross Station, jail and Trafalgar Square this week. There's a good chance he's picked it up.

A word of advice; when you do go shopping pay for each item individually at the checkout. That way you’ll have multiple receipts to wipe your arse with.

Suspension extended for all English football until at least April 30th. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/51962751

The parallels between this and the Chernobyl disaster are quite compelling.

Good shout. I've got a Polish ex. and she always kept me topped up with pierogi and doughnuts.

Not seen any footballers d*cking around but I've no idea why that would upset people. They can do what they want, if you choose to follow them on SM then that's up to you. I'm much more annoyed about the panic buyers and those ignoring basic health advice. I was in Tesco last night and they'd stripped the shelves of dog food and fabric softner.

I’m off work ‘until further notice’, so I’ll probably just end up on here acting like even more of a helmet. May dig the Scalextric out the spare room.

I’m glad someone got the reference.

I know a lot of airline crew who’ve ready been laid off and I can’t really see where their next pay cheque is coming from.

There's a certain low cost, Irish airline, who shall remain nameless, where things may be particularly difficult. Many of their employees are on zero hour contracts. Even if the government does give airlines a short term grant to help keep them afloat, those employees wont see a penny from a company who made one billion Euros profit last year. A tough time for a lot of industries. Wish I'd invested in Andrex, Dettol, PornHub and whichever company makes ventilators.

If someone had told me 3 months ago that in 2020 a crazed Jihadi will be rampaging around Woking, licking pensioners faces, I probably wouldn’t have believed you.

Why is nobody panic buying fresh vegetables in all of this? You'd think a good dose of vitamin C would be high on people's priority list.

Again, you just fundamentally don't get this. I'm not defending him, I think he's useless. He is obviously not an Abramovic or Sheikh, who basically buy football clubs as fashion statements to get laid. This is a business, an investment. He isn't going to put any more money in that he has to and he doesn't have £4bn in his bank account. Hardly anyone on the planet does.

I've got a Labrador and a jar of Nutella, I think I'll be alright.

No... just no. Gao does not have anything close to £4bn sitting in his bank account.