Lighthouse

I don't think I can quite fit the words 'possible, Man, Utd, lose, home' and 'Bournemouth' into a sentence but you're right, mathematically speaking. I'll hold my hand up, I thought we were completely out of it. Whoever had money on us to beat City and Spurs, whilst West Ham, whilst the Swans beat Liverpool and West Ham, you're buying the drinks.

So we're now Man Utd fans for 2 weeks? I feel disgusting.

Belting game already. Come on Arsenal! Villa at home on the last day, it would be hilarious if they overtake Spurs.

Barkley and Stones in particular, two young players with England aspirations, won't be sticking around for another season like that. Stones to replace Terry?

It's coming down in Leicester.

For me it was an accident. Lost my virginity in a rugby scrum at boarding school.

A little over a decade ago we were selling Beattie for £6m to try and fund a couple of loans to stay in the division. Whilst bemoaning how we'd blown a fortune (£3.2m) on someone like Delgado.

I think West Ham will get something out of this game.

Well we've got to match Zlatan's wages for our top players, or else there will be disharmony in the dressing room.

F'kin brilliant!

Gaston sets up a huge goal for Boro.

We've got Beaulieu Motor Museum too, always good for a day out.

This is our 'Riquelme' moment.

Dier to score the winner surely, having gotten away with murder and somehow not been red carded.

I'd sign me on a free transfer from me and give me a 3 year, £364kpw contract. Saints can do one, I'm buying a yacht.

I don't think I could bare to watch. I've already had to read about, "one of those great European nights at Anfield," on Facebook, not to mention photos of some fans sat on scaffolding and a flare on the pitch, thus proving them to be the best fans in the Premier League.

Actually it's 2 people, who look mildly daft already because it isn't going to happen.

I think the OP probably misheard his friend. We are actually going to re-sign Zoltan, not Zlatan.

Without actually wishing to entertain this rumour, a 1 year deal on £300kpw would 'only' set us back £15m. Beefed up a bit by agents fees, signing on etc. but it wouldn't come close to bankrupting us.

It'll be your turn eventually.

I wish to declare my doubt in the validity of this suggestion.

Well I sure nailed that one!

I'm sure I can dig my Jorge Anaya, Admiral's uniform out the back of the cupboard. I'm not going to the match but I hate feeling left out.

It's not wrong, just meaningless.

If De Bruyne, Aguero and Toure... If Carroll, Antonio and Payet... If Schneiderlin, Rooney and Mata.... If Sanchez, Walcott and Giroud.... If Oscar, Hazard and Costa.... If Sturridge, Coutinho and Lallana.... If Bojan, Shaqiri and Arnautovic.... It's the most generic statement you could make.