CB Fry

Francis Jeffers had scored 20-odd goals for Everton before he was twenty. Do I win?

Well, 4.6 effective clearances per encounter is absolutely brilliant but on the other hand I am worried because 2.3 interceptions is effing sh it. Swings and roundabouts, though isn't it really though?

Great thread.

Personally I feel that currently we are in an intolerable situation. Completely intolerable.

Clearly they didn't get seven million pounds for him.

His heart would have said go. His head would have also said go. Give him that choice 100 times again and he'd make the same choice 100 times.

Our Mars bar loving friend getting his summer 2016 meltdown in early I see.

They qualified for Europe through the fair play tables. 3 sent off already this season and manager sent to stands. Arf.

Some cod-psychoanalysis is definitely what's needed right now. He hates it here, is disruptive in the dressing room and wants out, apparently.

You utter helmet.

Personally I enjoyed it. Only Alpine could describe our most successful and satisfying season in thirty-odd years in terms better suited a war crime in Chechnya.

Wealth and rich meaning different things, eh? Fancy that.

The sense of being rich is hugely different to the concept of being wealthy, or having/acquiring wealth. Either way, Trousers said rich. I thought you knew about the language of English as taught by English teachers?

He didn't use the word wealth. He used the word rich.Can't you read the English language of English as taught by English teachers?

Funny how you always seem very keen to look at it from that direction.

Of course. If I was Toby Alderweireld there is nothing Saints could have done to force me for signing for them. Nothing. He'd know damn well other clubs would want him, and pay him more, so was just a case of sitting tight and landing that lovely fat contract and be off on his toes, with SFC as a home-banker back-up. He played it perfectly, exactly how I'd have done it. The idea that there was some "balls out" move that SFC could have done that would stop him reviewing his various options is no more than the gibberings of a fool. Ah.

But you don't want those opinions based on fiddly awkward things likes facts or statistics. Clear.

Bigoted claptrap.

You're not coming across as someone prepared to listen to anyone's opinion about anything.

Drivel.

Just pure, unadulterated bedwetting. Stoke far stronger based on what? They've lost a few and signed some assorted Carlos Kickaballs and have a manager pretty much proven to deliver mid table - 9th, 8th maybe. Far stronger? Nope. Newcastle finished the season fighting relegation up to the final day. Far stronger? Than 17th. Well yeah. Even our Schteve can do that. Oh, I'm scared. WBA. Pulis basically able to deliver 12th/13th every single season regardless. Far stronger? Nah, just another Pulis season. Palace? Yep, great Pardew doing well. Possible contender for 7th/8th? If all planets in alignment why not, if he does he's the next England manager. Far stronger? Let's be fair - they are as likely to be as inconsistent as any, and mid table awaits. Good luck to em. Seriously, who have any of those clubs signed that you want? The mentalist striker Newcastle have bought? I have no doubt that if Stoke had signed Cedric you'd be pi ss ing the bed about it.

Too much nonsense there to bother with I'm afraid. Someone else with energy could take it apart line by line but I can't be bothered. Disappointed you didn't manage to weave in Les Reed's record at Charlton, though. Do try harder.

That's a pretty special post, I've got to say.

He does look like the Great Soprendo, though. Piff-Paff-Poof.

If we'd have signed James Chester, diminutive centre back, slightly injury prone, last seen being relegated with Hull alongside "Gashton", Alpine would have gone apesh it about our seaside B&B levels of ambition and what a sh it signing he is. He'd have a hilarious nickname for him by now, too. Something like James Chesturd.