DT

Has done nothing except miss a good chance Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

Rodriguez has concrete boots Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

Wanyama playing like a large, full, wardrobe. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

Amazed he was selected. Need Ward-Prowse's poise Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

Cracking rugby Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

Ok, sorry, they have all the possession and we keep giving it back to them Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

We are being totally outplayed. Any sign of MP giving any instructions? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

Giving the ball away terribly Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

They're being very physical. Get the pen in the box Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

How do you miss that?

They're all over us. Sam's done his homework. Dribble at them, he says. Lambert looks very jaded.

I thought Wilshere, Walker and Walcott were all abysmal. Must be the W's. Rickie was okay, and fought hard, but will still be tarred with the patronising guff all the commentators come out with about beetroot, good model professional, worked way up leagues etc etc. Embarassing amount of awful tattoos on show too. Watch all the 'injured' players come back for their clubs on Saturday.

I think this is how the game will go: We'll start brightly, with some nice passing play, but not particularly direct. Nevertheless, we will make some chances, which we won't take. The crowd will get anxious. They'll have one chance all game, but will take it. And yes, it will be their big lunk up the front. With a header. We'll go in at half-time 1-0 down, get a panicky rollicking from MP, who'll bring on JayRod, who'll run around like a headless chicken. We'll then pop it around the middle a bit more, and no-one will notice we won't have had a shot. Osvaldo will get all bad tempered about playing for a side beneath him and he will lash out. He will be sent off. The TV pundits will be going on about West Ham's good start, and how our has had early promise, but that maybe Rickie's head has been turned. Or: We'll hammer them. Hope it's the second bit.

Our new formation is 4-1-1-1-1-2 Who needs width?

Sadly I was in a Starbucks so followed it all on my smartphone.

Our squad will have difficulty converting possession into goals. And how Fox is still with us is beyond me. Lovren, Wanyama, Osvaldo all excellent additions, nonetheless. But a 'spark' is still missing.

Liverpool away isn't looking much fun Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

And he's rubbish... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

If we lose Cork too I think it's only an Ok window for us. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

MP obviously doesn't like players who actually run at defenders. Mistake. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

Noted! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

Think Fulham were interested Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

Confirmed to Liverpool. My bets are all off. Last time I listen to you lot! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

If we sell Jack Cork it is utter madness Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free

Lineker is on £2m a year Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free