Miltonaggro

Coco has clearly got some compromising photographs...

Playing Russ Abbott's disco party classic 'Atmosphere' before kick off would be a start. In the past it's always forced me to immediately start shouting...

According to many West Ham fans Fonte is the worst defender they've ever seen, Twitter is a goldmine in this regard. Be interesting if they go down.

Dante's inferno!

What they need is a bounce, Pardew would be a good fit, get them banging...

Out to Yakety Sax, the Benny Hill theme (local colour). Off at half time to the Laurel and Hardy Cuckoo theme. Off at full time, The End, The Doors. Sorted...

Can we still discuss Mrs Fonte and the avuncular shark that is Al Pardew?

Be fair, Koeman is well on the way to becoming the Dutch David Moyes. Everton haven't got a glass ceiling, more of a glass bungee (which they invented)!

Why doesn't he talk about all that to the press then? Needs to man up and move on.

After being at a progressive professional club for much of his senior career, West Ham will have been a culture shock - and I think that's what this is all about. Like resigning in haste from an employer only to find that the grass is not greener. Could have been a legend, now a footnote, and he knows it!

Sad to think whilst we are all watching Countryfile he's being bummed senseless in a bunk bed! Broken Britain!

Did Artur have a party afterwards?

We have Ralph Malph's word there will be no sales this summer after 'our cup final heartbreak', remember?! Lol...

Not a chance! I have it on good authority that the club are keen on continuity and have already approached Gregg Wallace...

Sweet music from the dugout pioneers, fine whine. Plus they could bid for long term target Forster with the compo

Sure it's not a 'live masterbation' - he'd probably punch it!

Is that a euphemism!?

Good points Duncan, and it looks like our progress will be evolutionary short of the necessary financial backing for it to be revolutionary - but progress is progress. Part of that is winning pots and a win yesterday would have done the club the power of good. Terribly bad luck to get a clicking Manchester United team in the final, we needed luck and the rub of the green to beat them, and we got neither in this instance. I hope we have a bloody good go again next year.

Usually more Book of Revelations to be honest!

I think you'll find the official line is 'march on' Whitey! ;-)

Clearly a 'come and get me' with potential new owners circling, getting the CV out there.

Could have been more diplomatic, but he's right. Le Tissier wasn't a 'good player' though, he was exceptional.

Indeed. We've been called a 'shop window club' - no need to hawk our better players.

My money is on Donald Trump, hands across the ocean and all that...

A win Sunday will confirm that he chose money over trophies. The height of his career is his JPT medal.