hamster

Salisbury girl? Offer her £20 for a ****. You get laid, she gets the rest of the night off. It ain't rocket science mate.

Correction follow's: My second ever ****.

I would not recommend cashing your Giro in said attire. May lead to beng grabbed by the fuzz, painful.

Where would we/they play? The common, jumpers for goalposts?

Did you write that yourself? Well done.

Tonight - OH's mate staying the night, so free haircut and wine drinking. Saturday - daytime, boarding loft. evening Bishy for engagement party. Sunday - boarding loft, or should that be bored in loft?

Jilly could teach you how to strum maybe.

Right I'm back, time for a few changes round here.....

My Grandad was from Krakow, I have promised myself a trip there one day. Would be weird to meet some relatives, but probably quite hard to track them down, unless they're is a Polish genealogy.com tout there somewhere (in English). What's the best (affordable) way to do the trip?

Get yourself a Z225, a zero degree turning ride on. the rear wheels steer, thus reducing the size of the untidy, u**** (FFS, bloody filter, that should read u n c u t) corners (does that make sense?). If your budget won't stretch that high, go for they're LA110, some good deals available, and with a nice high back seat and no need to switch blades or attachments between 'mulching', 'cut and bagging' or 'side discharge' it gets my thimbs up. HTH

Just trying to sound hetro, apologies if offence caused. In fact panties is a very nice word IMO.

BTW Panties, Re: the carrier bag references (like you don't already know: Definition 2. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cottageing Not to be confused with this story: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1103576/Mummified-human-head-carrier-bag-footpath-woman.html Which I am surprised wasn't picked up on by some sad person on TMS earlier.

Tell you what Ponty, I've got a spare ticket for thepictures. You choose the film, I'll bring the carrier bag.

Hadn't reached deepest Wales though had it Ponts, then again not much has. Re carrier bags, I don't want to be accused of being ITK on these things, but I am told that if one were seeking a little er... short term relationship, then one might take a carrier bag with oneself into a public convenience and erm...

Wilts, what do you take me for?

Poontangooooooo!

This evening I won two tickets to the cinema on Radio Hampshire (The Saint). Open to offers (o)

I know Col, there's me being polite and all, and could nave got me head kicked in for my trouble! Maybe this should be in the 'pub etiquette' thread??

Swansea, you do know that it is wrong to go to the cinema alone, don't you? Or were you after the 'carrier bag' action too?

In a layby just outside Swansea, I saw a some bloke (a shepherd I assumed) in a field, I called over and asked "are you shearing that sheep"? He said... ---- --- ---- ---- ---. (LOL) Anyway, what film did you go to see?

Never mind 'I would', I think I have.

RSPCA are on their way round as we speak. Don't you hurt those polar bears you bastard.

I went for a tom tit in the pub tonight. The bloke in the next cubicle asked if I was alright? A little weird I thought, but to be polite I said 'Yeah mate, yourself? He said ' What you up to tonight then mate"? "Nothing special" I said," Just out with the missus having a beer or three". I emphasised the missus bit, just in case I was being 'groomed' for a little 'carrier bag' action. Anyway, up shot of it all was, that he then said (quite loudly) "I'll have to call you back later mate, some ***** in the cubicle next door won't shut up ****ing talking to me. I think he's one of those queers". I waited 10 minutes, then scurried back to the bar, and we left (never to return).

Mrs H likes it crackling on MY tongue occasionally. Try it.