dubai_phil

Oh FFS it is NOT rocket science. Mayan Calendar. Summer Solstice in Southern Hemisphere. Time and date at their main (it was in Star Wars so it is going to happen) Temple City. 11:12 GMT. Just about my 6th pint at Brunch tomorrow. I can now confirm that the end of the world IS happening. OSN (our local Satellite provider) have decided to show the XFactor USA finale at 05:00 so that we can go to fight Zombies safe in the knowledge that 1) The future of Country Music is in safehands with Tate Stephens OR 2) The Yanks found their own Spice Girls with singing ability (right at the end) OR 3) THE most insanely talented 13 year old girl on the planet EVER will make Aretha/Beyonce/Witney/Rihanna sound like Karaoke singers. No wonder Simon Cowell has had a smug grin the last two weeks, not just because he's boning Carmen Elektra either

Perhaps the answer lies in the caption to the photo.

Why, with the detective work that has been ongoing the last couple of days, do I have an image of a nutjob doing an impression of Dustin Hoffman?

Why we worried? We have Mayuka..............

If the Mayans were so clever at predicting the future, Why are there no Mayans?

I remember the hut. I remember a jump (that I went VERY carefully up to) But as for the rest? It was way back in the early 80's and we only volunteered due to Gluhwein

Oh look enough already. Everyone knows it's Scrat that's gonna cause it. He's back down there chasing the acorn around the Core. He'll get it wedged, we'll have a Magnetic Polar Shift and completely screw up all the electronics that we need to survive in a modern age, whilst the damn acorn interupting the spinning for a microsecond will cause massive Tectonic Plate movements. Jeez haven't you seen the movie?

Back in the day Hahnenkamm Kitzbuhel. Timed. When had too many Gluhweins for lunch Back when I had knees that worked No, never been brave again after that I believe it took me about 3.5 minutes. In reality it was probably 15.

When you are so far away from friends and family, it's Drivin home for Christmas A Spaceman came travelling is a classic favourite as is Greg Lake. The first time you hear Slade - ah Christmas is coming, trouble is hearing it from 2 or 3 months non stop gets a bit wearying. And then of course Billy Mack. Christmas is all around me..... Always raises a smile http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Vl2vX229e1A

Yeah but Midnight here means 8pm over your way... Damn this is tough. Where the hell is Concorde when we need it. We could have got somewhere before it all happened

I played Golf last night. With 8 Santas, 2 Elves, a confused lad from Harrogate in a Santa mini skirt (could have shaved his legs FFS), A Company Director in full drag as Mrs Santa, a Snowman and Tigger. Oh, and of course, 5 Dancing Bears I (of course) went dressed as a Wise Man and handed out Gold Coins to everyone (The Cadbury's kind FFS) (Oh and yes you will be able to google a photo when the pics get published in the press down here next week) This Saturday we are going to the Pub dressed in our Santa Hats. We kinda enjoy doing this as it makes all the geeks wearing Armani look stupid.

They change their tune faster than Bruno Mars changes his style

Jeez

Keep up FFS that was in his EL James Volume 1. The Bat is in The Bearsy Version Volume 2. Read it and you'll never watch America's summer sport in the same way again

A Christmas Message for all of Bearsy's fans [/img]

For many years down here it used to be (almost) as cheap to order a ready cooked Turkey from our local Supermarket Chain - Spinneys. You could request different stuffings etc. Thing was it left you only worrying about all the trimmings, and so made it crazy simple on Xmas Day. Now the point of me telling you that was NOT to advocate you get a takeaway it was because we learnt a really useful tip. The Supermarkets here would be open on Xmas day, so heading out to collect the Cooked Turkey at midday was always a big thing (and allowed me to get all the stuff I had forgotten!) BUT of course the Turkey was always lukewarm bordering on cold. The TRICK we learnt was to carve the Turkey and put all the meat into a large casserole bowl, add a good 3 or 4 spoons of water sprinkled all around then Microwave it for a few minutes until it was steaming hot. The water evaporates and Voila, the Turkey came out as moist as a wet................... Never failed. Normal cooking last few years? Stuff with an Orange, Lemon, Onion, pierce them (as well as FRESH Sage and anything else you feel like) and as they fruit gets hot it lets out the moisture into the meat (which is wrapped in foil until the last 30 mins or so (and of course baste) Those have also been perfect HTH Oh and a Chablis Premier Cru helps

Oh Krap. It'll be Thor won't it. That's me screwed then FMDP will be off after him faster than you can say give me a piggy back colehill.

Just one rather important question at this point (so I know which direction to point on Friday when I start praying) Do we actually know which God is going to actually be driving this event? Or will it be one of his minions? Which Bad Guy has finally pulled an Ace out of his sleeve? Just want to know in case I should brush up on my Koran (what happens if it all happens in between Prayer Times oh strewth). What if it it is Buddha cleansing the earth? Should I get all Tantric? Or can I just blame Tom Cruise and all his mates @christianscience because he thought he could be Jack Reacher? That's it! The end of the World is Lee Child's revenge. OK I can accept that

I still cannot believe that the HNW's have bought into a fantasy that they will walk into the Courtroom (whenever) and simply be given the land for the price THEY want to pay. Such stunning naivety. No wonder they are only HNW's, not rich people. It is a DISPUTE about a VALUATION. Birch can take all the experts to court that he wants. Chinny just has to take someone with a Bank Draft for a grand more than PDT/HNW want to pay. Game over. FFS stop making it so easy for us. Chinny has NO intention of walking away from his money, just because he doesn't use Neil Allen as his mouthpiece does NOT mean he has no WMD's in his pocket. All aimed at the Trust, and backed up by a nice "Politically Acceptable" Olive Branch for the PDT. An alternate universe Pint of Ale to all of you says that, Chinny will be a hero again before this is over.... And they realise the Butt Plug has been replaced by Bearsy's (still soiled) Baseball bat.

Oh Yes There is.....

My one and only entry. If any single person claims to support the Faked Moon Landings Conspiracy, THEN they are at the same time calling James Burke AND more Importantly Sir Patrick Moore Liars/Co-Conspriators or at worse accusing them of being negligent. I am sorry but ANYONE who calls Sir Patrick Moore anything other than a genius for his work in Educating us about Space is committing a more heinous crime than Hypo. Ban Pap

A forum member on Twitter We should put our development squad in League One. Would finish higher than #pompey #saintsfc Many a true word spoken in jest

And which property developer would that be? The imaginary one that's going to come along or the one who appears to have not actually done any deal with TB?

Ah, that's lucky. They still have a range of cunning plans to deploy. That will make Oldnick rest easier. Clearly the team that came up with the Santa suits have been on the ideas juice again. Can't wait

And THAT is why he is Sports PERSONALITY of the Year