dubai_phil

Ok alright I won up... I'm off to Poland next week - we go out on Ryan Air from Stansted and back to there on sleazy jet. It's damned hard work packing to match their rules when BA allow 3 x 23Kg and two carry-ons. What a nightmare their websites are as well. Hope you get to see Manuel when you meet Basil Oh

Yes, but apart from that why won't he be signing?

They think it's all over - it is now for Holland! http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/09072010/58/world-cup-2010-octopus-paul-backs-spain-lift-trophy.html yep Spain to win - Paul dives straight in with a decisive opening of the box. But FFS it is getting out of hand when the Spanish Gov talk about sending in aremd guards to keep him safe. Almost as funny as Granty being up at 4am Monday Actually if you're going from Luton you can wave at my Jumbo as I touch down at LHR at around 6:20. I'll be sat upstairs in my pre-allocated Window Flat Bed Seat thingy sipping a nice Bucks Fizz for Breakfast. What seat number you in on Queasyjet?

hehehe Shouldn't you be busy packing as well? I get 3 x 23kgs baggage allowance and 2 carry on bags (just about enough for my emotional baggage I reckon). What allowance do you get with Sleazyjet?

Think the source meant that South of England wonder band The Zuccinhi's are off on tour to France if they can get off the Hofbrau in time

Just went down to eat my lunch and caught Paul the Octopus doing his thing on Sky News. PMSL. The presenter was doing this whole deadly serious tone as Paul sat on top of the Uruguay box, it was comedy gold. He's supposed to be doing the final "shortly" Unfortunately I have work to do packing for next week but I'm sure someone will You-Tube Weymouth's finest at work

Oh, even better news John Terry made the top ten as well

And Graham Poll sits at home and says arrrgghh, If Only....... (I hadn't been such a ***t)

Harumph. So I go and log on to Twitter for the first time since the skates court case and get told tough luck clear off Twitter is over capacity. hell of a lot of interest in our tour it seems

Ah ha so THAT's what happened to Simon Clifford and SCW

You know that I know that But who is in charge of the Monkey Chicken Petting Zoo project?

I am afraid that I have some very sad news to report. It would appear that the initial efforts at cross breeding a Chicken with a Monkey for the long awaited petting zoo appear to have not gone so well. The good news is that Orville the Champion Rooster is expected to make a full physical recovery following his time with Edna former the PG Tips superstar. Unfortunately Orvilles' Psychiatrist believes it will be many many months before Orville can be persuaded to try again.

Haven't you read a newspaper or watched TV in the past 2 years? Spanish Government bailing out Football Clubs - lol they're more broke than the Skates

The fences cannot be THAT high surely It's Switzerland. There are Mountains. Climb one. Borrow one of Minty's Telephoto lenses or take Binoculars Simples.

It's all on the scorecard mate - Stroke Index. You are on 28 then you get one stroke every hole and one on SI 1 through 8. Important mentally as it makes a Par 5 into a Par 7 quite often and that stops you trying to hit the ball too hard etc etc etc Golf Gear. Used to be a pair of slacks and a Polo shirt. Down here it's 48C at the moment, that means Dri-Fit or Clima Cool only and a change of shirt after 9 holes, suddenly golf gear becomes damned important. You ever jumped in a lake wearing Cotton Clothes? Well, that's what it feels like after the first hole down here. Whole new set of problems. This time of year with 48C and humidity up at 80% you also need TWO golf gloves to hold the damned club. Otherwise the damned club tends to go further than the ball. Oh and according to the GF, a nice tight pair of Golf Pants improves her ability to stroke no end, don't help the golf but who cares?

Right. Where are our forces? Check-in Desk? Passport Control? Bus Drivers in Switzerland? NC wants to play keep it tight well then it's up to us. Alpine - Did you get the Long Range Night Vision Goggles & Camoflage Suit?

Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday dear Skate Fred Happy Birthday to you. Wonder what the next twist will be

Does that mean you've actually tried to sign up or were you meaning the Telegraph?

That's not fair, they probably wondered why they were being taken to an Island named after a Dutch player

RESULT Yes, England can hold their heads high, they've won something at the WC http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/world-cup-2010/7876681/Wayne-Rooney-is-the-ugliest-player-in-the-World-Cup-survey-claims.html Enough said really. Reckon Puyol ran him a close second

The whole German approach to the game was "we've lost this" good shout Paul. I note he is actually English as well/ Good job agent Paul psyched the lot of them out even Loew and his smelly sweater

Good old fashioned row in the studio between Souness & Hoddle about tactics, with Veneables struggling to get a word in. Most exciting bit of action in the first half

FWIW ITV & Beeb take the feed from the "FIFA Approved Broadcast partner" ie we all get to watch the same pictures and 8,000 Xtra slo mo shots of things of interest only to a passing American Redneck. The World Cup isn't for us "Soccer Fans" It's all about getting another billion people hooked, so the replays are about Oooh moments and not what we would find "interesting"

Oops And who's gonna be next then?

That ain't a footballer, that's the name of the hotel in Duabi where JT was giving large last winter before making up with his missus