Crouchie's Lawyer

Is it really to annoy away fans or to get him away from their own fans. IIRC they all f*ckin hate the c*nt anway! Still, he will be closer to the away fans, hopefully only a stone throw away

MB did you make that joke uninterntionally? Edit: I got confused with who said what!

Well I have spoke with Tom's (getting married) mate, who has come over here before and he has said, providing it's the school holiday (he is a teacher), he will happily take me around Aus to show me the sights. He has also offered me a place to stay for the 3 weeks (providing I chip in with the food cost) so I should find out tomorrow if he has any holidays. Tom also has another mate who has come over here which I maybe able to rope into travelling round Aus with me. Ill keep you posted.

Spurs are bottom of the Premier League

Are we only talking wee? If so, I guess, yeah, a couple of quid (providing there was a sink next to it to wash your hands). What about these scenarios? 1) Toilet with wee in (your version) with a sink nearby 2) Toilet with wee in, without a sink nearby 3) Toilet with poo in, with a sink nearby 4) Toiley with poo in, without a sink nearby. How much?

He will be assasinated within the first year I bet. By some racist fuelled hick no doubt that cannot cope with their country being run by a black man.

One word. Portsmouth

I know, I was hoping you wouldnt see that though!

No its just an expression. Its a reference to what you are talking about.

So im guessing you are the 'new' partner and not the actual father. Figures. Its none of your business if the real father takes a keen interest in his childs education. Infact I would encourage the father to still take an interest. If he doesnt, its not really being a loving caring father.

http://www.faceinhole.com is also quite good

Was I the only one to think 90's boyband five had passed away? In a serious note, my heart goes out to the family and friends of the people who have passed away.

Dollar Dollar bill yall

I used to love that show! Im gonna have a looky looky on play to see if there is a doovd

I feel you could have gone into a bit more detail yes! In all seriousness though, Im not sure of the specifics of the case or indeed the Thai legal system, but it does seem a little light yes.

Because (as ill explain below) there are a lot of people who dont pay their mortgage and consequently, the only thing left for the bank/building soceity to do is reposess to get their money back. You and I would calculate what we can reasonably afford yes, but there are a number of scratchy people out there who dont think like this. They are what I call 'priority retarded' They have missed payments on their loans & credit cards, have county court judgements (CCJ's) and defaults coming out of their ears but wanna borrow an extra £5k to go on holiday! What eventually happens is they have so much credit which they cannot afford, they start to miss mortgage payments to keep the credit card company and loan company happy by making a payment to them. When they miss mortgage payments, the risk of being repo'd is only just around the corner. Some lenders tolerate loads of missed payments before taking the client to court (I saw a Halifax one, where no payment had been made for 18 months yet no court action had been started! Yet others like Northern Rock will push for court action after only 2 or 3! Quite often, people dont get as much sick pay as they originally thought they would, or they take a 'it'll never happen to me' attitude, and dont take out any cover, again in these circumstances, it leads to missed mortgage payments and eventually repo. Same with Redundancy. JSA is no where near as much as a wage would be, so unless you had a very small mortgage, you wouldnt be able to pay it on the JSA. Its very different in the UK. Up until recently, it was worked on income multiples. So if I were to earn £25k (most banks work on an IM of 4 x wages) I could borrow £100k. The main floor in this is that they didnt normally take into account any other outgoings you had, so I could go to bank 1 and get £100k mortgage, bank 2 and get a £100k mortgage and so on. In affect, I could have £100k's of mortgage on £25k income. This was rectified and nowadays, most lenders use whats called affordability. Sounds a little like the France system. They basically take into account how much you spend on things like credit cards, loans etc and work out how much money you have spare each month (they use a rough guide for general living costs too). If the spare capacity is sufficient, you qualify for the mortgage. The main floor in all of these is unsecured credit. I could be on a wage of £25k and have no unsecured debts so the maximum I could borrow under this new affordability scheme would be say £100k. However, once the mortgage has gone through, I could then go to bank x, y & z and borrow tens of thousands of pounds in unsecured credit. Banks dont tend to work on stringent criteria for unsecured debts, more often than not, its just based on how much money goes into your account which can be easily mislead. The 'computer says no' sketch on little brittain is not far wrong with how personal loans are calculated in banks, normally the person selling you the loan is just reading a figure of how much the computer has calculated can be lent to you! So having borrowed my £x thousands from the bank, I then start to struggle meeting the mortgage payments, as had I taken out the debt before I were granted the mortgage, I would not have been given a mortgage as large as £100k! This IMO is also a major part of why there will be a lot of repo's this year.

Ohh but you cant do that, what about his human rights! My god, to think someone should be tortured! What a brutish suggestion, he only stabbed two innocent kids and their mother, as well as potentially killing another innocent child! FFS, its questionable if he should be imprisoned! We are all entitled to atleast 1.375 metres cubed of exposure to sunshine and we all know he wouldnt get that in a small prison box, not to question the case of how much space he is entitled to as a human! IMO as soon as you disregard the human life, you cease to have 'rights' and this is the core of my original point. F*ck the people who say this bloke should have rights, he has potentially killed a kid as well as trying to kill two more and an adult! Yes people are entitled to basic human rights and I am grateful of these, but people on the whole dont go around murdering others!

To be fair H, we are facing mass unemployment, decimation of industry and mass reposessions. The only one of these which we (touch wood) wont see if interest rates of 15%. However, to get people spending money, BOE base rate will be cut further and further next year, which will mean inflation will shoot right up. The way to control inflation, is generally deemed to be to increase rates, so fingers crossed they wont have to increase them that much. The state of the economy is cyclical, TBF, it doesnt really matter who is in power.

Just a point to Mackrill... If Southampton, SFC of anything to the west of your god forsaken sh*thole of a city is no good in your eyes, then why oh fishy friend do you grace your 'higher being' presence in a SOUTHAMPTON FC forum? Is it... a) You're one of a few who can (barely) read and write? b) You actually support Saints, you're just not ready to admit it yet c) You're so stupid, you didn't realise this was a SFC forum, and still believe it to be a skate one. d) All of the above? Anyway. I'm 25 and I was disciplined as a child. Not too strictly, however, I knew where the line was. If I ever overstepped this, my mum or dad would be there with a wooden spoon to punish me. They wouldnt clobber me until I were black and blue, could bearly breath and needed 4 weeks intensive care in hospital, just a good ol' smack across my ars£. I learnt this way to respect my elders. The gov't have come along with their namby pamby 'no smacking' rule and consequently, kids just get shouted at (at best). No wonder respect is waining and consequently, kids are pushing the boundaries further and further. IMO the gov't should be encouraging disciplining kids (parents only), within reason obviously, but a lot more respect would come back and I think soceity would benefit more from it.

Where you work then? Just somewhere loads of random fire fighters pop in! Burning building?

Scotty & Stevo, you both work in a fire station?

Im sure I will be corrected if Im wrong, however, I believe the idea behind it is that they need sufficient evidence. If there is some evidence, but not enough as yet and they believe they are able to obtain more, the additional 21 days gives them this leeway (sp). The theory behind it, Im guessing is that they dont want to let someone go after 21 days only for them to carry out their plan of terror on the 22nd day.

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'boys'. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight , 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the beer went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m. , a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my wife would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with she who must be funded. Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT ! GENIUS! The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, I told her ' MIDNIGHT '... She didn't seem ****ed off in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then she said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked why, she said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh ****.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

Dear Deidre, I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don't know them." I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her. Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole area when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls." When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my 3-wood. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it? Yours sincerely Dave ( Leeds )

Cheers Phil, ill look into it. That or some drugs to knock her out!