Crouchie's Lawyer

This is what I was going to point out. The US has a real major 'lets sue the sheet out of anything that walks' attitude, which has only led to hike's in insurance prices over the last decade. This person is also a gov't official of some kind too, so you would have thought he would have at least some form of sense. The film idiocracy (albeit quite a poor one) isnt too far off from the USA of today. Full of f*cktards

Very good, made me lol! Some of the comments from the inbreds on that link are funneh.

You could always just not come into TMS, you'd be happy, we'd be happy. Everyone's happy! And I think your comment is a tad hypocryitcal little plastic man as you, more often than not, not only post on the threads you claim are 'rate the fanny' but quite often contribute to the drivel on them.

If they serve it, I will order it

Yes, I did steal a cupboard when I broke into a pub a month or two ago, it was locked though so I didnt know whats inside!

Oh feck off you little plastic hobbit. I think you are the only person who I am glad hasnt paid the £5 as 3 posts from you is more than enough.

Tonight: Over mates for a smoke, play wii/xbox and pizza (this will be the third night straight that I have had a Tesco's thin crust meat feast pizza - and possibly getting pizza for lunch today too) Tomorrow: Lie in of extreme proportions, followed by a meal for my Aunty's 40th in a Chinese restaurant. Sunday: Lie in again, probably consist of sorting my re-mortgage application form out, playing FM07/08 and watching footeh on TV.

Im now starting to wonder if you look a little like this Stevo?

I saw this thread (being the most recently updated one) from the fore arm main page. It doesnt show who the author actually is until you go into TMS. I knew before I got into TMS that Stevo was the author. I only put quality aftershave like 'Old Spice' on my face. Unless I have a dry patch of skin, then as Scotty says, its ok to use a little moisturiser, otherwise it looks as if you are a walking crust bucket. I personally dont think things like moisturiser and Stevo's eye stuff is that bad or in very rare situations (like when its bigger than your nose) to cover up a spot. Its just when queers start using eye liner, lip stick and ghey girly make up that is when the line has been over stepped!

My point exactly

Group of chavs TBF

No harm. It doesnt say they are causing me harm, just an observation. FWIW, Chavs also do my nut in. Why would anyone want to be branded a Chav, knowing full well they are the butt of most peoples jokes?!

I had to read it twice, but it got a big lol from me when it hit me

You say that but I have seen a fair few late twenties - mid thirties goths. You have to ask how they get on in life. I know prejedism (sp?) isnt allowed in todays soceity, however, you cant imagine many employers seeing past the makeup and dark clothes! I certainly wouldnt employ a goth who dressed that way for work, would scare the clients off!

Goths and Emu's/Emo's or whatever they are called all want to be different. Fine I can accept it that they have a personality which leads them to crave attention and they think the way to get that is to shock people into giving it to them by looking different. Yet, they hang around with others similar looking to them and go to places which cater for only that kind of person. Surely this makes them the same?! I bet they all sit around in their dungeon-esk clubs moaning about following rules and criteria, yet they all look the frickin same! You never see a goth in full blacked up dress wear in the middle of a nightclub do you? Now that would be different. Bunch of 'Oh look at me, im different' freaks

Number 3 or 11 please. 12 looks like Mr Burns

Forgot to add you mum to the list too! A.F.B.B.Y.M.J Association For Bringing Back Your Mum Jokes

Thats quality, but as you say St Landrew, if I were a kid and saw something like that I would pap myself and run! That or run up to it and give it a big kick! It has to be someone dressed up trying to scare kids. I think this ploy would work over here, getting little sheets of the streets by scaring the carp out of them!

God knows. I dont think I could be tied to just picking two! Keeley Hazel Lucy Pinder Kelly Brook Brittney Spears Angelina Jolie Hilary Duff Cheryl Cole Scarlett Johanssen Hayden Panettiere Elisha Cuthbert Jessica Alba Megan Fox Billie Piper Kristen Bell Liv Tyler Gemma Atkinson Ali Larter I would like all of the above, but if I had to be pushed for two, I would happily accept any random two!

Thats Will Ferrell I think? I have a similar build to him, im funnier and better in bed. I dont look like him hair/face wise.

Johnny, can you not say that it was vouchers worth £100 in that letter you sent? Surely if they have no signature to say its received then its their fault and they should compensate you? Obviously there is a limit on the compo, I think its about £250??? And BTF, whose to say you actually received the phone??? If you call phone provider and say you havent got it, they will refer to RM who will find out it wasnt signed for and hey presto, RM will compensate the phone provider who will in turn send another phone

Yes: 1) As a wee bairn my father used to throw me up in the air and catch me again. I used to love it, the feeling of adrenalin as I was hurteling back down to earth must have been immense as a 1 year old. Anyway, he was throwing me up in the air one early summers evening when my Mum called out to say it was dinner time. My Dad said "one more go and we will be in" so he threw me up in the air and waited to catch me. After a few seconds (the amount of time it would take for a baby to return to earth from a throw in the air) he realised I was not back in his arms so looked up to see me hanging from the washing line from my two front teeth. I had to go to the hospital where my teeth were hanging on, litterally by a thread of skin. The Dr just pushed my teeth back into position and said it should be fine. My teeth probably would have been fine had it not been for 2) As a youthful chappy, my parents decided I should learn to defend myself, incase a nasty stanger offered me sweets and tried to bum me down an alleyway so enrolled me into a Judo class. I had been Judo'ing for a few years and was quite a kick ass student, beating all my opponents in tourno's I entered (even kicked a girls ass and made her cry - go me!) Anyway, one day at practise I was partnered with someone of similar ability (he wasnt as good as me) and we were given instructions on a move to practise. As this Judo class had become increasingly popular over the last few weeks, a lot of the stuff we were being shown was repeatative and basic level which did not interest us hardcore Judo fighters. So we decided to keep us interested by playing a game of chicken. This involved person (a) sitting above person (b) who was lying flat on the mat and person (a) would throw all their weight, elbow's first, toward person (b)'s face. The idea was that if person (b) flinched in anyway before the elbows were parted each side of their face, person (a) would win. I was person (b). Person (a) forgot to seperate their elbows just before contact with my face and proceeded to smash my two front teeth straight out. There was blood all over the white judo mat and I consequently lost my baby teeth. When my big boys teeth came through, the front two were at such an angle, they were nearly sideways. After all these years, they are still not straight (who wants to wear a brace?!) but are a lot better and not noticable. 3) My third and final chapter in this epic novel is a tale similar to SNSUN's about impressing the female species. I tried to impress two girls who were parked in a car waiting for their mum outside my house when I was a little laddy. I was on my Mongoose bike and sped up the road, thinking what would be mightily impressive would be to do a nice 90 degree skid right infront of their car on my drive (chicks dig that sh*t). So I zoomed up the road and began my return journey, building up one hell of a speed. I got to the skid zone and slammed what I thought was the rear brake on. My Mongoose had reversed brakes (so the back was the front and vice versa) and I had forgot this having been recently riding my other bike. I hit the front brake, flipped over the front handlebars and landed right on my back. Thought it wasnt all that bad and that all that had been hurt was my pride until I opened my eyes to see my bike following me down to earth. It smacked me in the face and I proceeded to run in crying like a girl to my mummy infront of teh girls I was trying to impress! 4) I drink ale when I go out. The end

Long blone hair with a few grey ones brown eyes, dark clothes

i lol'd, I was thinking the same