Crab Lungs

Just seen JPFCW on Sky Sports News who had a special message for any potential investor: "Come invest in the best football fans in the country" LMFAO!!!! Fail.

LOL, quality.

On top of that, there is this little beauty of a thread. You can almost sense them dribbling all over their keyboards... http://boards.footymad.net/forum.php?tno=424&fid=203&sty=2&act=1&mid=2123126590 I wonder what they are alluding to in this thread... Markus interested in Portsmouth, perhaps? Or maybe he just wants to flatten SMS and turn everything into a shipyard? Sad, sad group of people.

According to one PFC fan, they are being taken over by BP. Or Shell. Or Texaco. He can't quite remember, y'see..... http://boards.footymad.net/forum.php?tno=424&fid=203&sty=2&act=1&mid=2123122847

:smt044 Exactly. Lol.

http://boards.footymad.net/forum.php?tno=424&fid=203&sty=2&act=1&mid=2123122847 So, BP are taking them over now??? Er, or Shell. Or it might be Texaco. PRICELESS

"Pompey should focus on being a community-based club, because Portsmouth itself has a very community-based population." Um?

DEBT BREAKDOWN Loans Coutts & Co (another bank) created 15 July 2009 - debt unknown Certain Balram Chainrai ('short-term' loans) £18.75m Lens (Dindane and Belhadj - Lens 'agreed' revised repayment plan after defaulting) £4m-8m Rennes (Utaka transfer - Rennes 'want Portsmouth shut down' after defaulting) £4m-£6m Chelsea (Johnson transfer) £3m Campbell (former player suing for 'image rights') £1.7m Claimed Udinese (Muntari transfer - reported Portsmouth to Court of Arbitration) £4m Spurs (Kaboul transfer inc. add ons in event of resale) £3.5m Agents (Diarra transfer - Willie McKay, other) £3m Disputed Alexandre Gaydamak Jnr (£9m due this Jan, further £19m to follow - just paid £2.5m to Barclays to clear overdraft, repayment 'negotiable' according to The News) £30.5m HMRC £11m (disputed - Portsmouth claim to have paid £4m and are due a return!) Speculative Watford (Smith, Williamson transfers) £3m Rolling Debt Estimated £3m in wages, per month Debt Settled Standard Bank (settled 26 Sep 2009) Singer & Friedlander (4 Nov 2009) Barclays (paid by Gaydamak Jan 2010) TOTAL DEBT (my conservative estimate): Around £85m Other Notes 'meanwhile, in other news...' - Manager widely reported to be visiting brothels - 2 skint Arabs who have continued to tussle for power (Al-Fahim owns 10% of nothing, 'Falcondrone' of Al-Mirage owns 90% of the remaining nothing) - Shady Israeli-French-Russian former chairman and equally shady ex-arms dealing Israeli-French-Russian father of previous chairman in the background asking for repayment on past expenditure whilst tying up all the important land around Fratton Park - Ex-manager Harry Redknapp in court for tax evasion - Ex-chairman Milan Mandaric in court for cheating public revenue - CEO in court for tax evasion (Storrie claims that he thought Hayling Island was 'offshore') - Shamed ex-Israeli lawyer banned from practicing/elected as director in charge of their affairs - Only around 10,000 season ticket holders - 'Kids a quid' even failing to improve attendances - still averaging less than Southampton and is one the lowest in the Prem - New 'Potty' ground at Horsea on hold until 2027 - No training ground - still training in a field in Eastleigh - Don't own their own ground - secured against a loan to pay staff wages - Gaydamak owns most valuable land around Fratton Park which will prevent any redevelopment for as long as they are in dispute- Players being paid astronomical wages SOMETIMES ALMOST DEFINITELY MAYBE (Utaka £80,000, James £60,000 and still on the payroll) - Short-term loans in abundance, no doubt with a huuuuuuuuuge emphasis on interest - Youth team disbanding - Coaches, scouts and other staff already 'culled' - HMRC winding up order Feb 10th - Attempting to sell Mike Williamson to Newcastle for £1m, only later to discover that any resale will evoke a clause meaning they would have to pay Watford £1.25m - 6,000 odd for the FA Cup 3rd round, 8,000 odd for the an all-Prem tie in the following round - Rumours of trying to scam the Premier League to remove the embargo by not naming all the alloted substitutes in games - Rumours of the club 'watering' the pitch overnight to get the home game versus B'ham called off while missing 4 players at the ANC - Persistant lying/backstabbing/deckchair shuffling/arguing/squabbling between directors, fans Have I missed anything? Please, let me know :-D

Anyone remember any other famous mispronounciations? "Lunda-kwarm"

LMFAO!!! They are absolutely hilarious. Cue the 'bad weather, just after xmas, ticket prices, boycotting' excuses...

Stocky, please.

People finally coming round to realising that he is a first-class bitter c**t?

Any more hilarity emanating from the wrong end of the M27 this morning, folks?

LOL Sssssshh... i was trying to make it a legitimate quote!

good call....

LMAO, adding that to the list

Eagerly anticipated follow-up to the Band Of Brothers series - sadly only available via Sky Movies :-( Anyway, for your approval: http://www.hbo.com/the-pacific

DEBT BREAKDOWN Loans Coutts & Co (another bank) created 15 July 2009 - debt unknown Certain Balram Chainrai ('short-term' loans) £18.75m Lens (Dindane and Belhadj - Lens 'agreed' revised repayment plan after defaulting) £4m-8m Rennes (Utaka transfer - Rennes 'want Portsmouth shut down' after defaulting) £4m-£6m Chelsea (Johnson transfer) £3m Campbell (former player suing for 'image rights') £1.7m Claimed Udinese (Muntari transfer - reported Portsmouth to Court of Arbitration) £4m Spurs (Kaboul transfer inc. add ons in event of resale) £3.5m Agents (Diarra transfer - Willie McKay, other) £3m Disputed Alexandre Gaydamak Jnr (£9m due this Jan, further £19m to follow - just paid £2.5m to Barclays to clear overdraft, repayment 'negotiable' according to The News) £30.5m HMRC £11m (disputed - Portsmouth claim to have paid £4m and are due a return!) Speculative Watford (Smith, Williamson transfers) £3m Rolling Debt Estimated £2m in wages, per month Debt Settled Standard Bank (settled 26 Sep 2009) Singer & Friedlander (4 Nov 2009) Barclays (paid by Gaydamak Jan 2010) TOTAL DEBT (my conservative estimate): Around £85m Other Notes 'meanwhile, in other news...' - Manager widely reported to be visiting brothels - 2 skint Arabs who have continued to tussle for power (Al-Fahim owns 10% of nothing, 'Falcondrone' of Al-Mirage owns 90% of the remaining nothing) - Shady Israeli-French-Russian former chairman and equally shady ex-arms dealing Israeli-French-Russian father of previous chairman in the background asking for repayment on past expenditure whilst tying up all the important land around Fratton Park - Ex-manager Harry Redknapp in court for tax evasion - Ex-chairman Milan Mandaric in court for cheating public revenue - CEO in court for tax evasion (Storrie claims that he thought Hayling Island was 'offshore') - Shamed ex-Israeli lawyer banned from practicing/elected as director in charge of their affairs - Only around 10,000 season ticket holders - 'Kids a quid' even failing to improve attendances - still averaging less than Southampton and is one the lowest in the Prem - New 'Potty' ground at Horsea on hold until 2027 - No training ground - still training in a field in Eastleigh - Don't own their own ground - secured against a loan to pay staff wages - Gaydamak owns most valuable land around Fratton Park which will prevent any redevelopment for as long as they are in dispute- Players being paid astronomical wages SOMETIMES ALMOST DEFINITELY MAYBE (Utaka £80,000, James £60,000 and still on the payroll) - Short-term loans in abundance, no doubt with a huuuuuuuuuge emphasis on interest - Youth team disbanding - Coaches, scouts and other staff already 'culled' - HMRC winding up order Feb 10th - Attempting to sell Mike Williamson to Newcastle for £1m, only later to discover that any resale will evoke a clause meaning they would have to pay Watford £1.25m Have I missed anything? Please, let me know :-D

Thanking you! That is that sorted then... Nice one, Saggy Chops - Spurs still feeding the money mincer then ::smt023

What.... the 11m-rated (lol) Younes Kaboul? EDIT: Interesting... they still owe Spurs for Kaboul! So, if they sell him back to Spurs.... "Any bid would be offset by £2m still owed on the original deal and £1.5m which they would receive as a part of a sell-on clause which entitles them to 25 per cent of any profit made on Kaboul." http://www.tribalfootball.com/tottenham-man-city-go-portsmouth-defender-kaboul-591511

I've no idea - the one I did wonder about was Crouchie.. :=o I'll keep that in mind as I only accounted for the players! Also, I know a few people saw it but its worth mentioning again - Peter Storrie defending his tax evasion: "I thought Hayling Island was offshore" Classic

No probs - hopefully someone a bit more studious will have kept a running totL so can correctly me on a few things when they see it. Not sure if its entirely accurate as I haven't checked, for example some of those outstanding debts may have been 'settled' - but I won't be taking the Skates words for it!

Can we make a list who is claiming what from Portsmouth? From the top my head its: 1.7m Sol Campbell 28m Gaydamak 18.75m Chainrai 4m Udinese (Muntari) 6m Rennes (Utaka) 8m Lens (Dindane, Belhadj) 3m Chelsea (Johnson) 3m Watford (Williamson, Smith) 11m HMRC 3m misc agents/translators/fish pimps (2m to Diarra agent?) 3.5m Spurs (Kaboul) 35m outstanding debt (existing loans etc) 1.8m monthly wage bill TOTAL DEBT: £125M (is that possible?) I am going to revise this I think... Optimistic figures above as they may already have paid some of this, but any help with this post is welcome. Most welcome!

Just read online that Portsmouth once paid an agent £3m just to read a contract in french to a player As stupid as it sounds, I wouldn't actually put it past them