Midfield_General

Thank you all for your input. After a tough selection process the squad is: First XI: Peter Shilton (Drink-driving, 20 months ban) Ulrich Van Gobbel (Fraud, 4 months prison) Claus Lundekvam (Assault, £500 fine) Thomas Hajto (Manslaughter, 2 years prison (suspended); Cigarette smuggling, 180,000 Euro fine) (Captain) Jhon Viafara (Cocaine trafficking, 11 years U.S. federal prison) Dennis Wise (Assault, 3 months prison) Nathan Dyer (Theft, 60 hours community service) Neil Shipperley (Van wanking, 12 months community order) Jordan Robertson (Death by dangerous driving, 32 months prison) Kerry Dixon (Assault, 9 months prison) Nile Ranger (Fraud, 8 months prison) Manager: Harry Redknapp Assistant Manager: Lawrie McMenemy Youth Team Coach: Bob Higgins Chairman: Gao Jisheng Subs: Bruce Grobbelaar (Charged with match-fixing and conspiracy to corrupt, tried, got off (just) despite 'adequate evidence of dishonesty') Fabrice Fernandes (Drink-driving, 100 hours community service) James Beattie (Drink-driving, 100 hours community service) Triallists: Bradley Wright-Phillips (Charged with theft, tried, cleared for lack of evidence) Mark Dennis (Charged with assault and threatening to burn down someone's house, tried, cleared) Lee Barnard (Charged with assault, tried, cleared) Guly (Charged with drink driving, can't seem to find out what happened) Roving club ambassador: Frank Worthington Top summer transfer target: Quincy Promes Sponsor: LD Sports

(Allegedly)

Claus got arrested twice in a month, surprisingly not for drugs, but instead for drink-driving and assault

Crime/ sentence? EDIT: Found it. Tried for assault but cleared. Bench.

On another thread there was a mention of former persistent transfer rumour Quincy Promes, who ended up getting sentenced to six years for helping to smuggle 1,360 kilos of cocaine. While Promes never actually signed for us, it did get me thinking - do we have a full Saints Criminal XI of players who got done by the police either while playing for us or afterwards? Some that spring immediately to mind are: Jhon Viafara: got 11 years in 2021, again for coke, this time trafficking two tonnes worth £21m. Pretty impressive crime and sentence, so a good shout for captain Nathan Dyer: got 60 hours community service for stealing from a nightclub cloakroom Neil Shipperley: got a 12 month community order for wanking at people from a van Bradley Wright-Phillips: got arrested and charged for the same crime as Dyer, but ultimately got off due to lack of evidence - maybe he could go on the bench Mark Dennis: didn't he get done for GBH back in the day, and the club sacked him? Any others?

Late 80s Jimmy Case and early 90s Terry Hurlock forming a formidable and hirsute central midfield partnership in that side

Great player for us, a bargain at £7m and scored some fantastic goals. Always enjoyed watching him play, brought some quality to our side and wish him all the best with his next move.

Yep. Our recruitment is going to be absolutely massive. Of course it will be a step up, but IF (and that's a massive, bright red, flashing IF) we recruit reasonably well and are well-set-up and well-managed to wring the best out of what we have, there's at least half the league there (the likes of Bournemouth, Brentford, Everton, Fulham, Ipswich, Leicester, Forest, Wolves) where I don't see why we wouldn't look at those games thinking we could get something. They're obviously not all going to struggle, but they should all be teams considered beatable on their day. In a league where 36-37 points is probably enough to keep you up, home and away there's 48 points to play for there, just for starters, before you get to any of the big boys or even the mid-table likes of West Ham, Palace, Brighton. It's also worth bearing in mind that even in our relegation season, with a poor side by PL standards who were otherwise stinking the place out, we still beat Chelsea home and away, drew with Arsenal home and away, drew with Man Utd away, drew with Spurs, drew with Liverpool and beat a perfectly respectable Man City side in the league cup. That was also with a revolving door of managers, two of whom are now managing at a much lower level. Overall we were crap, and we lost way too many of the games that should have been considered 'winnable', but we also found a way to grind out results against the big boys surprisingly often. So it's not impossible. We'll need to find that again. Big summer of recruitment ahead, that's for sure, but I'm feeling weirdly upbeat about it at the moment. Must be the residual high of the play-off final not worn off yet. It will probably instantly evaporate the moment the fixtures come out and shit gets real.

I know. It’s like Pep deciding to have a crack at the Brentford job. But it was the money of course - it was the height of the Moshiri/ Usmanov spunkathon, when they pissed hundreds of unsustainable millions up the wall, kick-starting the series of events which sees them now so utterly in the shit.

He was Everton’s player of the year in the Prem 2019/20 under Ancelotti. Goes to show what a manager he is, because that genuinely ranks as a more impressive achievement than winning the Champions League five times.

Pope is also not great with his feet so doesn’t fit our model unfortunately, which is a shame as he’s otherwise a very solid top flight keeper.

Unless we’re going to stick with 3-5-2 with Fraser as wing back, we need a left back too. Manning would get absolutely destroyed in the Prem and I think we’ll need to do better than Perraud.

Lots of other players left around that time and were sent off warmly by the fans and by the club with best wishes messages and highlights reels. When he left, the club put out the type of one-line statement they only saved for players who had caused trouble behind the scenes or conducted themselves extremely badly. No thank yous, no best wishes, just 'we can confirm he has left'. It's pretty clear that there was a reason for that. There was a very strong rumour at the time that he had gone on strike and refused to play in order to force the move through. While that was never confirmed or denied by the club, given that he had been there for 14 years and was our captain, for his time to end that way it's pretty clear that the way he conducted himself to get the move seriously pissed the club off and they felt very let down by him. For a club which is generally pretty supportive of letting players further their careers, that does not reflect well on him at all. Whether he actually went on strike or not we don't know, although there was enough credence to the rumour that he felt he had to come out and deny it. But it's clear that he didn't behave well towards the club that had nurtured him from the Academy to the England squad, and who made him captain. For those talking about 'showing class', he then came back with Liverpool as a player and showed his own class by goading the Saints fans while they were dicking us 6-1 at home. I know that for a fact because I was there and saw him do it. And that ad in the Echo that he took out of himself was a joke - he thought he could act like a twat behind the scenes and then just brush over it with some faux-sincere badge-kissing shit from his PR team and that the supporters were so thick they'd just eat it up. People say 'oh but he was young then' - he wasn't, he was 26. At that age you know perfectly well how to conduct yourself. And all this stuff about what a great example he'll set our young players? What an absolute crock of shit. He set the worst possible example you could set to any young player. Players leave - fine, of course they do. Some players act like twats to force transfers - whatever, that's up to the them. But for anyone wondering why not everyone is welcoming him back with open arms, well, those are the reasons. It's not just blind hatred of someone who left, he brought it on himself. There's a reason players like Lambert are still universally loved, they left too but they didn't act like cunts doing it. Now he's an injury-prone sicknote at the arse end of his career, and we're convenient for him again because he can still get paid without travelling too far and can get back for the kids, apparently we should all welcome him back with open arms. Some people might be alright with that, and again, that's up to them. Some people aren't however, and think he burnt his bridges when he took the decision to take a giant shit on the club, and that what goes around comes around, and that he should fuck off. I'm one of them.

And then force transfers when they get offered more money elsewhere, despite being captain. What a super role model he is for 'the kids'.

And so what if you’re the captain, who cares? Just ignore that, take a shit on the club that nurtured you from the academy to the England team, disrupt everything and force that shit through to make sure you get your transfer away! This is the guy that people think we should bring back to ‘set an example’. Prick.

He acted the prick when he left and now he's just looking for a final easy payday close to his house so he can spend more time with his kids. He basically said as much when he said why he was leaving Brighton: "I feel like I've played quite a lot of football this season, maybe a little too much." "I've been speaking to my family throughout the year and the biggest influence on my decision was that my kids needed me." https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/c03ddzkgll3o Cool, a footballer who wants to play less. Really sounds like he wants to go the extra mile and give everything for the cause. Is Winston Bogarde available? He's played for some really super duper big clubs too and would bring some much needed experience to our group of callow youths.

How do you know what deal we're offering him?

Their missus might though (Allegedly)

Quite aside from being a dickhead, from those quotes that he gave to Brighton at the end of the season it sounds like he just wants a final pay day somewhere near his house. If all that matters to him is where he's based, let him sign for Ringwood. I really hope we're not paying him much.

You're right. He obviously conducted himself in a way that made everyone at the club love and respect him. You can just feel the affection for him oozing out of the official statement when he left, with not a single word of thanks or good wishes towards him. What a guy.

Yep. He was 26 when he left us, he wasn't some naive kid who was badly advised or had his head turned. He was also our captain. To those saying what a great example he would set the younger players - what sort of example did he set our younger players when, as our captain no less, he allegedly went on strike to force his way out of the club? Why would you want to bring that person back, in any capacity, let alone to 'set the example'?

Also acted the cunt when he left, refusing to play for us to force through the transfer to Liverpool. Got the ‘one-line leaving statement’ treatment which is saved for the dickheads so clearly pissed a lot of people off at the club. Goaded our fans when he came back to St Mary’s and Liverpool hammered us in that evening game. Showed his true colours then so not sure why he would be welcomed back by club or fans after that. It’s not like he’s going to make much impact as a player and if we’re looking for coaches who are former players then surely there are some out there who set a better example and showed some loyalty to the club when we needed them to. (And that full page ad of himself that he took out in the Echo was absolutely cringeworthy as well).

The extended highlights including build-up and aftermath celebrations are free on ITV player

It's been his tactical flexibility and his willingness to change to suit the occasion/ opposition over the last few weeks that I've found most refreshing. Earlier on in the season it didn't look like he had it in him, so I agree that I think we're seeing him grow and improve as a manager, and that's great. I'm still perplexed by the apparently blind loyalty to Baz, as the swap to McCarthy felt to me like such a pivotal piece of how we've got through the play-offs the way we have, and that was an enforced change, but that conversation has been done to death and it's for another day. Right now I just want to bask in the feeling of winning and say well done to each and every one of the players and staff, as they all played their part in what will go down as one of the most memorable and enjoyable seasons in our entire history.

+ another proper defensive mid