Oh no, another team sign a player before SAINTS - we're dooooooomed I'll tell thee, doomed!!
Season tickets are void, the pitch won't be ready, the kit will resemble Mr Blobby, the concourse will serve only tofu and Caliber, China invests $20 billion in Pompey, ML is broke, NC is appearing in Big Brother.............you've been watching, an ode to certain threads