OttawaSaint

I bet he did, with those bloody great nails through his wrists and ankles, not to mention the crown of thorns...

A 6,000 mile round trips is just a little excessive...

I didn't do it...

here's some commentary Good afternoon and welcome to, er, racing at Newmarket. They're about to go into the stalls, er, for the 3:30 so, over to you, Peter. Thank you, yes, the seven runners for this first Durex Handicap over six furlongs are just beginning to load up. That's The Poof, n'very much on his toes and beautifully turned out, he really looked a picture in the paddock. And just coming into our picture is Vagina. Vagina is one of the two fillies in the race, she's, um, very good opening speed and the overnight rain will have helped her. She likes it a bit soft underfoot. That's The ******, going to the stalls. A steady performer, The ******, but, er, he tends to be a bit one-paced. Just going in is Buttocks. And, Buttocks, a big colt, blinkered for the first time. And there's our favourite The *****. I think he would have preferred slightly firmer going, um, and just going is the outsider of the field, the seven year old Arsehole. Arsehole, by **** out of Bumhole, erm, he's been tailed off on his last three outings, a rather disappointing horse this. And one of the last to go is Big Tits who's, um, carrying the top weight. A steady performer but, um, I think the ten pound penalty will be a little too much for her this afternoon. She's safely in. Oh dear, The *****! The ***** is rearing up! He tends to get excited, a very, very excitable horse, I remember he had to be withdrawn at Lingfield. Yes, they're going to put the hood on him. They're very good, the handlers here at Newmarket. And now, a-, a late show of betting. Mmm, thank you, Peter. The ***** has hardened a half a point to 11/8, Vagina is threes, The Poof and Buttocks both 9/2. There's been some late money for Big Tits who's come in to join The ****** on 8/1 and Arsehole is 66/1. Er, as expected, Arsehole is the 66/1 complete outsider. And they're, they're, they're, they'r-, they're all in. They're under starter's orders and they're off! Big Tits got a flyer and is the first to show. Arsehole was slowly away. And as they settle down it's Big Tits from Vagina with The ***** tucked in behind these two. Then comes the blinkered Buttocks being pressed by The Poof. Going steadily behind these five is The ****** and trailing the field is Arsehole. And as they start to climb the hill, it's Vagina who just shows clear of Buttocks. The ***** is close up third, nothing between these three. Big Tits is hanging slightly to the left, tucked in behind is The Poof. Still trailing the field is Arsehole. There is The Poof again making a challenge with Arsehole under pressure, but finding nothing. And as they race to the line it's Vagina being pressed by The *****, with The Poof making rapid progress, trying to squeeze in between Buttocks and the rail. The ***** and Vagina, nothing between these two. And The ******'s coming with a late run! The ****** is coming with a late run! And Big Tits has dropped out of it all together! And with a hundred yards to go, it's the ***** and Vagina, drawing clear. The ***** and Vagina, stride for stride, length and line, it must be a photo. I can't separate them but I think The Poof takes third from The ******, and still to finish is the tiring Arsehole. Well, one hell of a race. The ***** may just have got up in the last stride but I-, I wouldn't like to put my money on it. And now it's back to topless darts at Roehampton.

someome hypnotise them to think they are playing the MK Dongs...

if you tilt your head to one side and squint your eyes a bit, it looks like Michael Owen being violated by 3 foreign soldiers...

Haven't you heard? Ex-pats are no longer welcome here...

Only in "my toilet"...

Went to "the fridge" for a glass of milk and watched the game on an internet stream, has a **** in "my toilet" at half time and celebrated with cup of coffee in "my kitchen" afterward. There may or may not have been some singing...

Never thought I'd live to see Saints lift a trophy, what a feeling!!!! Was born in '73 and didn't start supporting Saints until 1981. Well done boys, some may think this is a Mickey Mouse trophy, but we beat everyone we faced and deserve a bit of glory. Hope that common sense prevails and we keep Alan and the squad together for more great days like this. It's tough being all the way over here (in Canada) while the celebrations are going on over there, bloody proud of my team though even if I am a filthy ex-pat...

Yessssssssssss!!!!!! 3-0 3-0 3-0!!!!!!! Papapapapapapapapapapapa!!!!

YESSSSS!!! LAMBO!!! Ref bottled it tho, that guy palmed the ball deliberately so Ricky couldn't head it. STRAIGHT RED IMO...

Had a quick look at some of my old stomping grounds. Did they airbrush out all the dog**** and litter or has Britain cleaned up it's act since I was last there (2003)?

effing brilliant, Lambo is a legend!!! GET IT!!!

Lovely day here, snow's all gone, 1st day of spring and a ton of yard work to do. COYR...

I seem to recall from RE that Jesus was quite a skinny man...

14C and sunny here, approaching 4 in the afternoon...COYRs!!!

Ever stopped and wondered why you feel the need to consume such quantities of alcohol?

not sure but I have accidently come IN a sex shop before...

so out of character for squaddies, you never hear of them being agressive or getting into trouble...

had it been a student he would have been praising the law...

tsk tsk, ****ing ex-pat...

Celebrate the hell out of it, life is too short, use it as a celebration of our new regime and coming out of the dark hole we were in. I remember going to watch Aberdeen, the fans had been spoiled with League Championships, A Cup Winners Cup and a smattering of Scottish Cups. I watched a particular performance vs raith where Aberdeen were full of movement and invention, they took Raith apart but only capitalised on 3 of the great chances they had carved out. I stood up, expecting an ovation to the players for a great game and was pushed past by about 3,000 people mumbling about, "only 3-0" and "second in the league is no use". Fast forward several years and Aberdeen are lucky if they can beat Partick at home and finish in a consistant mid table slot. I bet those grumbling supporters had wished they'd enjoyed 3-0 wins and 2nd place a bit more now. Sieze the moment and celebrate like it's the last cup we will ever win, for all we know it might just be...

Beautiful sunshine here today, snow is melting nicely, a little bit of an icy breeze and 5 degrees C...

I would pay a fiver to join this site, but I spent all my money on lumberjack shirts and Davey Crockett hats...