Bearsy

Are those rolling eyes? They look more side to side. I thought they meant paranoid or unsure or something.

I can't make it tomorrow because it's impossible to sit still for 45 minutes

I usually buy 9 seats as I don't like anyone sitting beside, behind or in front of me but I can't make it tomorrow. This possibly explains the shortfall.

You're gonna live to regret that pap! It'll be like when fox let George Lucas snarf the Star Wars merchandising rights! I bet when Toys R Us shift their 10 millionth Cock Mounted Mini-Gun for under 10s you'll have me in court b!tching that internet promises ain't binding!

Christ how can people post on that board? Why's it got to look so ugly? It's hard to keep track of who's saying what to who the way they've got it laid out. Maybe you have to get your eye in. Maybe I retard.

im assuming the mini-gun is fused to his penis? I had an idea for a romantic comedy once about a man who was continually on fire. It caused problems in his personal life and also professionally because he was a postman. I was going to call it "Man On Fire" but it turned out Denzel had got there first. I have several other mint ideas for sweet movies that I'll try and update over the weekend!

thans pap but i'm not sure anyone in 24 has sex and i want to stay as true to the core of 24 as possible. i may need to draft in a sex angle to draw in the popcorn crowds though, i'll wait and see what the studio execs say. My main concern was that i hadn't managed to get Chloe O'Brien in on the action yet. I was thinking jack might need her help to hack into the defence system but then i realised he could easily do this on his phone.

I kind of miss watching 24 - it was so deliciously right wing! so I think the time is right for a 24 movie featuring Jack Bauer! It would be called: 2 Jack is on the run from the US government. He's settled now outside Paris working as a goatherder with his new best friend and confidant Frenchie. One day Frenchie says to Jack "It'll be cold tomorrow". Jack recognises this as terrorist code for "there's going to be an imminent terrorist attack on US soil!"!!! He immediately tortures Frenchie to get more information. Frenchie dies under interrogation but under torture reveals he has family living in Paris. Jack steals a car and drives to Paris. This takes like 10 minutes cos he's speeding. Jack needs weapons so he calls on a arms dealer he knows and acquires a nuclear bomb. He tortures the arms dealer to death but gets no more intel. Jack visits Frenchies family and tortures them to death and they reveal under interrogation that they are muslims! It is clear their is about to be an imminent terrorist attack on US soil! Jack is running out of time so he sets off the nuclear bomb underneath the Eiffel Tower. He is in a lift car and is blown across the atlantic to the CTU offices. This takes about 5 minutes because of the nuclear wind. The new head of CTU is a Stupid Chief and he doesn't believe Jack about the imminent terrorist attack on US soil as he's more concerned about a recent terrorist attack in Paris which isn't even on US soil! So Jack knows he must be in on the conspiracy! And tortures him to death. This torture takes about an hour and 10 minutes because Jack has to do it real bad with electrodes and anal probes and stuff. Jack learns that the president is in Washington! The terrorists must be in Washington and Jack has to take them out asap! So he hacks into the defence system using his phone and fires a full nuclear arsenal at Washington this is successful and all the terrorists are dead! Jack has saved the day! FIN Oh also in the bits where Jack is driving there'll be stuff about his daughter being in trouble or something, but these will be boring and no-one will watch them they'll use these breaks to visit the toilet or get ice cream or whatever. .

Is that it? I thought someone had hacked your account!

No pap I prefer to think that vulcan chicks have normal human sex drives and that after seven years of celibacy they start to forget how bad the 7 year Poon Hard was on them last time and they're almost looking forward to it and then boom! all the vulcan dudes suddenly go Poon Hard sex crazy and go on a massive rape and pillage violent sex frenzy! The best looking vulcan chicks like that Jolene Ballcock are ruined in minutes and then rape gangs of frenzied vulcan cocks start in on the ugly old women, children and finally each other, buggering themselves senseless till they're finally spent and collapse unconscious in the street. Bow legged women venture furtively out their huts and hiding places to recover the wounded and dead. End scene.

thats classic pap i had to check on amazon to make sure it werent real!

I was thinking more like Paul McKenna pap, I'm wondering if it's a head problem. Maybe my bumhole doesn't itch, maybe it's pyschosomatic arising from a subconscious desire to put things up my bumhole. One of my earliest memories, and I've never told anyone this before so I'd appreciate if you could keep it just between me and you pap, was when I was naked in our bathroom as a toddler and I'd climbed up on the toilet seat to access the prohibited delights of the medicine cabinet. Then I slipped and fell and a broom handle went up my bumhole. Now logically I know this can't be true, I don't see how a broom could be positioned in such a way to achieve the force required to penetrate a virgin bumhole but I swear that's how I remember it. And the fact remains that something went up my bumhole that day. Maybe it was a toilet brush, maybe there was someone else present I just don't know. I think I've got issues.

I only checked into this thread to find who was holding his face to your arse. Disappointed.

this is all very interesting but its not helping me with my bumhole. stay on topic people!

yeah i thought he was out of order too scotty. i hope his kids die.

i wouldn't boil them at all dog.

oh it were stiff too weren't it? probably don't work if it ain't stiff cos ur sposed to think its my boner. which also dont work if it aint stiff.

hypothermia Oh I remember that one it was what's a foot long meaty and makes girls scream? That was pretty sick but i still looooled. i guess anything goes cept kids and blacks. you've got to keep it smart people!

oh sh!t are jokes sposed to be sensitive now? am I in trouble? I don't think I even know any unnoffensive jokes! Do they even exist?

We need more "knock knock" jokes on here! Here's a good one I just heard: Knock knock....... Knock knock....... Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock.... Hurry up Whitney, I need a sh!t. .

least an hour dog. you dont want to get salmonella.

I used to go with this girl who was a prissy and fastidiuos pain in the arse and on account of a hair trigger gag reflex flatly refused to provide blow jobs. This would ordinarily be an instant deal breaker but because she happened to be smoking hot I stuck with it for a while and undertook a policy of whining, threats and bribery to achieve my end. I knew she was weakening when she invited me to cram 5 packs of chewing gum in my mouth so that I "knew what it felt like". This I did and smiling the whole time so she was pretty much obliged to do the honours. She did insist on half-filling her gob with mouthwash before getting stuck in though. Have to admit I had some concerns, but they were mainly about whether there'd be room for my massive man sword in a mouthole half-filled with mouthwash but I figured I've come this far and went with it. Big mistake! Oh my ****ing god you would not believe the agony!!! I didn't think a circumstance could ever arise where I'd voluntarily withdraw my knob from a willing mouth, not even if I reached down and found an erect penis, but this was it alright!

Thats a good thought pap though I never thought of it before, surely the logical extension of supressing emotions is celebacy? You'd imagine the pointy eared bastards would have some sort of artificial insemenation programme going for procreation. But on the other hand an ass as fine as new uhuras has got to be tapped. It wouldnt be logical to leave it untapped. You seem to know a lot about stuff can you help me with my other problem with that movie? So you're a vulcan right? A massive drill bit descends into your atmosphere and starts drilling a fat laser down into your planet. Why the **** are you just standing around not doing anything about it? Oh look at that laser what's that about, I wonder if it's got anything to do with our atmospheric problems? Nah it's probably alright. Shoot a missile at it for ****s sake! You can't tell me it was shielded as Kirk shot it out with his ****ing gun!

don't ever put deep heat on ur bumhole! Oh sweet jesus it burns!!!!!

yo sh!t is your avatar shatner pap can't believe i never recognised him! i guess its the crazy face he's doing. I always figured it was you. did you see that new star trek movie last year or whenever? that was pretty sweet i thought! at least up unto when they dumped kirk on that planet and then with a whole entire planet to search round he runs into the exact cave where nimoy happens to be sitting. I still think of that new uhura sometimes when im boning my gf tho! She was fiiiine! Then if im too fast i tune in to old uhura and that usually does the trick! lol