Bearsy

You've gone too far there bro!

not sure i can advise without picturesssss!

Casting will be key for that one Eric. Who do you see playing MF and who will play the Mars Bar?

No that sounds bout right i see what ur saying there. its like when i found a starving bear cub in the forest i was like is it better to take it home so it might grown into a strong bear and be useful to me (Left Wing) or should i just let it starve so i don't have to share my food with it (Right Wing). Both ways have merit. In the end I killed it and fed it to some other starving bear cubs so i guess i swing both ways.

i don't know nothing bout politics really but someone got me The West Wing on dvd for Christmas and I'm pretty sure Left Wing means "Good" and Right Wing means "Bad"!

Good suggestion Verbal! Pass - The Rory Delap Story You just earned yourself an ep credit fella!

No dude like this:

I love sports movies! Here's mine: The Rory Delap Story Based on a true story! Rory Delap is a loser. He's never achieved anything with his life. All he does is work on his dad's building sites and go to watch his beloved Stoke City play but even that's miserable because Stoke are rubbish, bottom of the league and their star striker Peter Crouch is a joke who ain't scored all season. Rory's job on the building site is to cart breeze blocks up to the top of the scaffolding, but check this, he does it by throwing them really far! This is called foreshadowing. One day Tony Pulis goes down to the town park to take his mind off how rubbish Stoke City are. He drops his wallet and Rory Delap finds it. Tony Pulis doesn't hear Rory shouting and drives off so Rory throws the wallet even though the car is like 3 miles away it goes straight through the window and lands on Pulis lap! Pulis is really grateful and invites Rory to come for a trial and Rory is all like "I can't play football!" and Pulis is all like "That doesn't matter son, come along anyway." Rory gets lost trying to find the training ground and he bumps into Abigail Clancy who's Crouch's girlfriend. She finds his unconventional ways and rougish good looks charming! She is the love interest. All the Stoke players are all laughing at Rory when he turns up for his trial. Peter Crouch really hates him because he saw Rory talking to Abigail Clancy. Plus Rory is rubbish! He can't even kick the ball straight and keeps falling over! But when Crouch calls him a muppet Rory picks up the ball and throws it at Crouch's head and knocks him out stone cold! Pulis starts Rory in the next game against Manchester United. Poor Rory doesn't know what to do so he just stands in the corner smoking cigarettes. The crowd don't like this and are like all on his back calling him faggot and stuff. Then in the last minute Stoke get a throw in by their own corner flag. Rory picks it up and throws it the whole length of the pitch to Crouch who scores the winning goal! And then Crouch does his robotic dance to celebrate! The crowd are loving it! Abigail Clancy runs onto the pitch to celebrate, but check this she runs past Crouch and starts frenching Rory! Then she gets her tits out and sucks him off! FIN

Maybes if I ring Eddie up at homes he can tells me?

I wants to hear the sweary versionsssss!

Oh my god that last comment makes me so mad!!!

I watched Twilight: Breaking Wind Part 1 last night. I was coming into it a bit cold as I'd only seen the first one before and hadn't read the books or nothing. There seems to be a pretty strange set of morals behind these movies. Like they make the girl marry the vampire before they can have sex, but once she's got that ring on her finger all bets are off and he absolutely ruins her! Her tight virgin vag gets smashed up so bad that he wrecks the bed in the process and the next time you see her she's covered in sex bruises and stuff. There's also this weird thing where the werewolf dude turns out to be a paedophile and falls in love with a new born baby! That doesn't make him evil though, in fact it makes him a hero cos it stops the other werewolves eating the baby. Not sure how the paedowolf is gonna turn out though really as presumably he's gonna have to marry the baby before he smashes it. I guess they're saving that for Part 2.

Dudes! I'm cured! My bumhole don't itch no more!!!!! I've been following SNSUN's advice above, not about sticking a banana up there but the stuff about laying off the Andrex wet wipes and just using soap and water and stuff and it's done the trick! Maybe I was allergic to Andrex bum-wipes???? Seems a pretty undramatic conclusion though, I know you were all hoping that I'd have a tapeworm like a garden hose up there but we can't all be winners. The only drama I've had is when I got caught drying my bumhole with the girlfriend's hairdryer but other than that it's been plain sailing! Credit where it's due if anyone ever has any bum related issues my advice is to immediately pm a picture to SNSUN. In fact do that anyway! FIN Mods lock thread etc!

What! Are you sure she's 12? Might she have turned 13?

Thanks pap! I also love your idea for undergroud cooking rebels but I'm worried if Antony Worrall Thompson can carry a feature movie at this stage in his career?? I was thinking you might want to draft in some other famous chefs like James Martin and erm the bald one from Master Chef to co-star? Then I'd say it's definitely green light!

Thanks pap but you're being generous there I know we're definitely going to need a killer marketing plan for this one fortunately I have a flair for graffic design and have already mocked up a killer poster! Pretty sweet I think that should get them packed in! You'll notice I've made maximum use of George Sampson as he's the main box office draw! I have even come up with the idea of him playing multiple roles like Alec Guiness in Kind Hearts and Coronets but even better!!!! Even tho you ain't heard of George Sampson I can assure you he has a very solid fanbase amongst middle aged women and pre-teen girls and they are already frothing at the mouth to see this sweet movie!

You don't know George Sampson??? He's the world's greatest street dancer!

Oi!

Skillz That Killz One of our unmanned space probes crashes in an alien planet but unfortunately it lands on an alien princess and damages one of her 9 legs. The aliens aren't happy and think we done it on purpose so they immediately declare war on planet earth! Under intergallactic law wars between planets are settled by battle between two champions and the winner gets to keep the others planet as like a holiday home! We immediately start organising to find our champion and are looking at the Klitchko's and Vinny Jones when boom! on the day before the battle we find it isn't fighting it's actually going to be a street dance off! Everyone is trying to find George Sampson (played by himself) but when they do he's drunk in a whore house! He's out of condition! He's grown a beard! We get a mentor played by Jeff Daniels to train him and then he has to go to the interallactic street dance off. We can have lots of scenes here with him saying goodbye to his fans and everyone crying and stuff. The alien dancer is really good! He's got 9 legs! And as part of his dance he does the bit with all the mirrors which makes him look like there's loads of him which is what George Sampson was going to do! George Sampson doesn't think he can beat him but Jeff Daniels gives him an inspirational speech about doing his best and junk. George Sampson does his best dancing, but check this, the judges aren't loving it! George Sampson is pulling out all the moves but they're all like yawning and thinking about what to have for lunch! Then at the last possible moment George Sampson does that one move where he gets rained on and the judges are loving it! They hadn't even seen it before because they only watch Hollyoaks on TV. George Sampson wins for planet earth! But check this, while he was dancing he saw the alien princess and he's fallen in love with her so he says the aliens can keep their planet! George Sampson comes home as a hero but then gets executed by the government for being a traitor and giving a way a whole planet which was filled with oil. FIN PS - This might be a bit thin but I thought we needed something for the kids to watch while the mums and dads are watching 2 and Mini-Gun Man. PPS - I took the name Skillz That Killz from the inner city crew in that Dodgeball movie. I'm a bit worried about litigation so might change it if anyone's got any ideas?

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I thought easter was the thing about him coming back or whatever. Might be wrong. Bears have their own gods.

I don't mean physically examined, I mean visually examined! I've not been touching it, honest!

I'm not happy how people keep saying worms!! Serious question though (for a change) if I had worms wouldn't I have seen them wriggling about in my poo? Bearing in mind I've turned round and physically examined every bowel movement since 1992.

who is that? It looks like fat LeTis!