Master Bates

Call it Electra, seeing as it's going to be electrifying once it's started chewing through electric cables causing a 10 day power cut in your house, meaning christmas would be ruined and you'll have to move out into a poxy one bedroom flat until next year once the house has been re-wired up.

Can she go to St Marys Stadium?

My Molly

Shrewsbury Town have retained Jamie White's services for another month after his loan from Southampton was extended. White has spent the last four weeks with the League Two outfit, making five appearances in the league and scoring once in the process. Simpson has been pleased with the 19-year-old's progress and believes another month of first-team football will see him return to Southampton a better player. http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,12875_4650280,00.html

Yep, did watch Elf last night

Right, and we'll wait for an update.

PompeyLass/Jillyanne? (Cerridwen Dragonoak Connelly, a Pagan witch)

ANGRY holiday Brit Mike Parry flicked the finger at a speeding driver who nearly knocked him down in Dubai—and got locked up in a stinking jail for a MONTH. Company boss Mike, 25, told last night how he reacted in shock when the car narrowly missed him as he crossed the road. But then it screeched to a halt and a group of Arab youths leapt out. They told him his gesture was against the law and demanded he hand over around £1,800—or they’d call the police. “One bloke was arrested for doing press-ups on the beach — cops accused him of making love to the GROUND and charged him with indecency. “An airport porter who broke wind as he picked up a local lady’s bags got two months for AIR POLLUTION. “And a Sri Lankan who lived in Dubai went home for a holiday and got a new HAIRCUT. On his return officials arrested him because they said it didn’t look like his passport.” http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/99031/Holiday-Brit-jailed-in-Dubai-for-flicking-middle-finger.html

Vibrator/butt plug

Buy a hamster, kill it and then wrap it up in a box full of cotton wool.

News of the World page 71 Adam Lallana has told Saints he does not want to be sold next month. Tottenham, Fulham and Stoke have expressed an interest in the £2.5m rated midfielder, 20, and Southampton need the cash. But he said "I'd rather play first team here than reserves elsewhere".

The next meteor shower is the Geminids in the evening of December 13, 2008. A gibbous Moon will overpower all but the brightest meteors. http://stardate.org/nightsky/meteors/

You're strange.

I don't buy it, but often ask if they have the Echo.

They're last years. I don't see many shops where you work.

Have lots where I work as we normally give them out to site managers etc

Best laugh in ages

Let you off.

Sit kids on your knee? Yes I have a lawyer

Can the title be changed to, "Oooooooooo, a cardboardbox"

Not until 19th December. WUM

POLICE have closed a number of city centre roads after a suspicious package was found in Southampton this afternoon. A security guard raised the alarm after spotting the bag outside HSBC bank on Commercial Road at around 4pm. The bomb squad has not been called at present. http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/3970417.City_centre_roads_closed_after_suspicious_package_found/

Flybe, Europe's largest and most successful regional airline, and the largest operator out of Southampton Airport, today announced an extended sponsorship deal with Southampton FC. The deal will run until June 2010 with further options to extend and underlines the airline's long term commitment to both the club and the region. http://www.saintsfc.co.uk/news/?page_id=11064

De'ja vu. Done that last year with the old stock, it's better than throwing them away. Well done SFC