Master Bates

I haven't.

Absolutely do not know, 5mins ago was the first i've heard of it.

Is anyone aware of a new Saints song doing the rounds? A fella I know says he heard it in the pub and wishes for a copy, apparently starts something like "I see the saints are on the rising" and in it is "don't go out tonight unless your red and white" Anyone?

Both. However it doesn't mean we'll be getting chips, can't afford chips until we're back in the Prem, true story.

SAINTS are due to announce within the next week that their sponsorship deal with FlyBe has been extended. http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/sport/saints/news/3950719.Saints_set_to_announce_new_FlyBe_deal/ Catering part is from inside the club.

Wow, we're going to extend the sponsorship of Flybe. Also, the catering company's contract is up for tender again.

PM me your e.mail address, I have a special advent calendar for you. Dog - just e.mailing it to you now Jillyanne - What's ur e.mail?

She's been found guilty of being the most grotesque munter ever? Hardly surprising to be fair. Shannon Matthews, Maddie McCann, it's like they say, it's always the ugly one's that get found.

+1.

Christmas time, valium and wine, Kids indulging in petty crime, Dad's on the crack and mum's off her tree, Christmas is great when you come from Pompey.

Phone crimewatch. I f*cked a woman with a hammer stuck up her ar5e, she was banging.

I'll pm the link so you can read them all, couldn't post all as some may have been deemed racist.

Mmm..................... £28m mmm.....................

About 3/4 weeks ago the bbc received 60+ complaints RE Songs of Praise, here's why: 1. Go to http://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints/complaints_stage1.shtml 2. Make sure you have the 'Make a complaint' box ticked 3.Complain about 'Television Programmes' 4. Select bbc 1 and Put 02/11/08 in date 5.Songs of Praise in Programme box 6. Make a sensible complaint about how and why you dislike Songs of Praise 7. Put in some false (but reasonable) details Some examples: 4 When I am masterbating and I have lost the remote I do not want to see a bunch of old priests and their congregation singing stupid songs. That coupled with the man dancing naked outside the church protesting about something or other with nothing covering him up really puts me off. Please be more considerate. 5 I was offended that the bbc is forcing christianity and the bible down my throat whilst not making any comment that there is no scientific based fact that the bible is true. Indeed it feel like a cult in so much as it forces you to believe their beliefs and contibute money to it. Obscene. I demand fairness and equal time for my non-faith and for this program to come with a warning/disclaimer that it is Fiction. 6 I am sick to death of the homophobic agenda that Songs of Praise is trying to promote, i find it quite funny how on the same week J Ross was suspended for inproper conduct Songs of Praise is allowed to call for the death of all gays through the medium of song. I hope this matter will recieve the attention it deserves. 10 There was a naked man protesting outside the church, with nothing on screen that covered up his genitals. My children found this incredibly disturbing, and I find it atrocious that the bbc can broadcast this pre-watershed. 17 Having watched Songs of Praise for some years now, I feel the bbc has reached an all time low. Last Sunday's coverage of a 'gentleman' protesting outside the Church wearing nothing but his Sunday best, complete with his Sunday dinner of meat and two veg was the final straw. As a fairly open minded person, to see this on the Sabbath has infuriated me. I shall be contacting Points of View to express my concern. 62: good day, being a jehovas witness, although i ma generally hated by all, i do tend to tune in to songs of praise on a sunday evening although my religion forbids this. i find the songs very refreshing and they bring excitement to my extremely sad life, which i mainly spend knocking on random peoples doors. however on the date mentioned there seemed to be an old mans c*ck hanging out on the screen. i was flabbergasted i now have vowed never to watch this show ever again and that means knocking on more peoples doors. if you pick such a kerfuffle at jonathon ross' comments, which where words, then you show us this vile thing how hypocritical is that, just after you say you want to cut down on badness on tv. good day, and do not expect me to be viewing this ever again.

Yeah that's what they do, you never seen ants carry dead ants back to their holes?

Ant farms are better and easier to maintain.

He does have a sweet left peg....have a look at 4 mins into this vid. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=R0LK4EAk3C4

Tottenham, Arsenal and Liverpool are chasing Lallana, 20, who is rated at around £2 million. http://www.tribalfootball.com/arsenal-spurs-liverpool-scramble-available-lallana-214655

F**king class song, haven't heard it in ages.

Frosty the pervert in a trench coat he did go to a the school yard to expose his d*ck and balls made of snow frosty the pervert all the kids he liked to watch his d*ck did grow when he packed snow on his cold and icy crotch there must have must have been some magic when he stroked his frozen meat cause frosty started moaning loud and it began to sleet frosty the pervert was as glad as he could get he threw away his corn cob pipe and lit a ciggerette frosty the pervert didnt want to go to jail he began to run while dripping cum and the cops picked up his trail down to the village his d*ck melting in his hand running here and there all around the square yelling "catch me if you can." they chased him down the streets of town right to a ?? squad cop who shoved a night stick right up his ass and frosty screamed "dont stop OOOO!!" frosty the pervert was locked up that very day but he did not cry as he waved good bye knowing he'd be back someday beating his meat all over the streets look at frosty go sliding his hands all over his glands his cum, as white as snow (To The Tune Of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”) Oh you better not shout, You better not cry, You better not pout, I'm tellin' you why; Daddy's home and I think he's drunk. He's walkin' real slow, He slurs when he speaks, I don't even think He’s shaved in two weeks, Daddy's home and boy is he drunk. He spent most of our money On Johnny Walker Black And then he took all of the rest And lost it at the track. Sooo.... You better not pout, You better not cry, I don't like that look in his eye, Daddy's home and I think he's... Daddy's home and boy is he... Daddy's home and he's really drunk! (To The Tune "Jingle Bells") Dashing through the snow in my rusty Chevrolet. Down the road I go, sliding all the way. I need new piston rings. I need some new snow tires. My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire! Chorus Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away. I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay. The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay. Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet! I went to IGA to get some Christmas cheer. I just passed up my left front tire and it's gettin' hard to steer. Speeding down the highway, right past the county cops. I have to drag my swampers just to get the car to stop. Chorus Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away. I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay. The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay. Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet! Bouncing through the snowdrifts in a big, blue cloud of smoke. People laugh as I drive by; I wonder what's the joke! I have to get to Wal-Mart to pick up my layaway, Cause Santa's comin' soon in his big, old, rusty sleigh! Chorus Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away. I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay. The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay. Oh, what fun it is to drive this rus-ty Chev-ro-let! On the twelfth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Twelve bags of Pepto, Eleven pounds of blubber, Ten baked potatoes, Nine polish hot dogs, Eight bowls of chili, Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

SOUTHAMPTON will sell their top two players next month in a desperate bid to avoid administration — and a 10-point penalty. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/article2002068.ece

LEON Crouch has revealed his masterplan for Saints to satisfy the bank manager in 2008/09 contained the first team squad being based mainly around the club’s academy and reserve players. http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/sport/saints/news/3948085.Crouch_planned_to_back_Saints__academy/

To the tune of 'Winter Wonderland' Lacy things -- the wife is missin', Didn't ask -- her permission, I'm wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear. In the store -- there's a teddy, Little straps -- like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear. In the office there's a guy named Melvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!" "Let's wait until our wives are out of town!" Later on, if you wanna, We can dress -- like Madonna, Put on some eyeshade, And join the parade, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear! Lacy things... missin', Didn't ask... permission, Wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear. Walkin' 'round in women's underwear, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

Um, you're not really allowed to move the seats about, I think it's against ground regulations, plus they're screwed on anyways, aren't they?

Spot on Want me to pm you a picture of the Queen's snatch?