Pamplemousse

In French, there’s no exact one-size-fits-all phrase for “metaphorically sucking off” because it’s slangy, sexual, and figurative at the same time — but you can capture the tone and meaning with existing idioms that convey “over-the-top flattery” or “fawning.” If you want to keep the same cheeky, slightly crude edge while making it natural in French, you could go for something like: "Je ne vais pas non plus commencer à te tailler une pipe métaphorique." → This is a very literal rendering: tailler une pipe is a crude slang term for oral sex on a man. Adding métaphorique makes clear it’s figurative, just like in English. If you want it a touch less graphic but still informal and pointed, you could use: "Je ne vais pas non plus commencer à te passer de la pommade." (literally: rub ointment on you) – common idiom for buttering someone up, flattering them excessively. "Je ne vais pas non plus commencer à te lécher les bottes." (lick your boots) – also conveys fawning. For a close match to the original tone, I’d suggest: "Je ne vais pas non plus commencer à te tailler une pipe, hein, c’est juste pour dire." It keeps the playful vulgarity and makes clear it’s figurative in context — French readers will instantly get the intended banter.

Looks like it's going to be 30 degrees plus even at kick off I hope everyone drinks sensibly;)

Christophe also has a better command of the English language than a few people here...

Only just skimmed the last page of this thread, from what I gather Spertsyan is going to Valenciennes?

St Mary's is fast becoming the entertainment district of the city. All we need is an arena.

The one against us was Middlesbrough in 2004, Redknapp's first game. Their first (Higginbotham own goal) was in the 89th min.

Yeah I agree with that. He was in the right position at least, the application was wrong. It's easier to coach the last part so he gets his technique right, but in terms of anticipation he was getting into all the right positions.

Get in Wednesday!

Slightly tongue-in-cheek but to be 5 points ahead of one of our promotion rivals so early on would be a bit of a statement

Another new ground to tick off. I'd play Edozie, Aribo and Dibling for a laugh

Pressure is all on them. A win and we'd already be 5 points ahead of them.

Left the game on 89 mins, fed up of this club. Utter dross. I was done when we brought Manning on, waste of a sub

Obviously with the midfield options we have, maybe that's changed, we'll see tomorrow I guess. I think he has been injured as well

I reckon Bazunu Yuki Stephens Quarshie Wellington Fernandes Charles Armstrong Archer Downs Fraser If we go 3-5-2 (or 5-2-3) then Edwards comes in for Archer.

20 man squad, so based on the injuries and players who aren't involved, that's probably... GK: Bazunu, McCarthy DF: Manning, Stephens, Edwards, Wood, Yuki, Quarshie, Welington, Kayi Sanda MF: Downes, Fernandes, Charles, Sesay FW: Armstrong, Archer, Downs, Robinson, Fraser and one of BBD or Stewart? Matsuki is going out on loan I think? So I've left him out, but writing all that down... we look very light in central midfield with Smallbone and Aribo not involved.

Everyone buckle up, the circus rolls in today! Looking forward to Brum v Ipswich. This is where we'll see if Birmingham really are promotion contenders.

I can see how Parsons rubs people up the wrong way but tbh I appreciate his honesty and directness.

First idiot of the day... Why the fuck bring up Martin? Move on.

Is that Gary Lineker in the foreground?

Ffs. Same question as the first one just reworded differently.

6 mins since we started and we have the first question, must be a record

Empty seats in the forum lol.

Got the news on first ffs. So that's 5 minutes gone

The price is ridiculous. £7.30 for a pint of Asahi?!

I think it was that bloke wearing the Women's version of the goalkeeper kit