Lighthouse

Brighton are just annoying me now. The one f**king game I wanted them to turn up and put in a performance was Everton and they played like they were on prescription painkillers .

If we do assume that Ralph gets spanked by Liverpool and there’s no improvement in results even in the much more winnable games which immediately followed AND we assume that Lavia and Alcaraz make absolutely zero difference to how we play; 12 points in 15 is still 31 over a full season. Clearly better than the 24 we’ve managed and hovering around where the cut off is likely to be for the two above us. Im not saying he’d have turned it around either. I’m saying that we wouldn’t have had the absolute nose dive in results we had after he was sacked.

It’s no different to saving a penalty. I’m not sure people will feel the same when we’re on the receiving end of a couple of howlers next season. Stuff like David Silva’s goal against us in 2014 or Fonte’s penalty against Brighton. I’ll take minor disruption to the flow of the game to stop results swinging on things like that.

What is it you think any of them would gain from that, Tino included? Chucking a bunch of kids who aren’t ready on for 20 minutes, at the end of another 0-5 and watching them get booed off at the end is of no help to anyone. Let the useless players who’ve played the other 36 games deal with it and start fresh in August.

You could literally replace ‘Selles’ with ‘Jones’ and ‘JWP’ with ‘Selles’ and that’s the exact sentence everyone was saying four months ago.

But you can’t just cherry pick that and ignore the run of winnable games following Liverpool which Jones contrived to get three bloody points from.

If he’d stayed, we’d have stayed up. It wouldn’t have been pretty, we wouldn’t have been World beaters but given that he scored half our points this season in 12 games, I’m pretty certain that we’d have been in Bournemouth and West Ham territory. Don’t forget he was without our two best players this season in Lavia and Alcaraz for most of that time, too.

I wouldn't want any of the current squad being captain next season, we need someone new who's not a habitual loser. That's not aimed at JWP, it's aimed at the whole squad. We need a player who's only recent experience is not passing sideways and backwards, hoping to get a 0-0 'from now on' when we're already two or three down to some bottom half mediocrity. JWP needs a fresh start too. There're a few clubs he'd do okay at, although I think their fans are going to be surprised at just how 'okay' he actually is, when you take away the free kicks.

Just flicked over to see if the Israeli woman has been on yet and they’re showing clips of various UK cities in between acts. We’ve had Clifton Bridge and the Angel of the North, has Southampton been on yet? I’d hate for Europe to miss out on a video of a tramp taking a dump between the wheelie bins, behind Orange Rooms.

He would be my shout. As dreadful as so many of our players are, most of them at least look like they’re trying. Even the ones our professors in psychology have been analysing as not trying I think are just dejected, devoid of confidence and ideas and fed up of being paraded around in this appallingly managed sh*t show. Aribo though… f**k me he actually looks like it’s an inconvenience being given a big pay rise to come here and play football. I’d drive the lazy waste of space up to Carlisle United tomorrow and buy him a f**king McDonald’s at Stafford services on the way.

I wonder what changed around the end of October to hinder us quite so badly. Must have been Lavia getting fit again.

Shall I go and join in with the beach volleyball or have another Mai Tai….

Sorry to double down on your crappy afternoon with more bad news but….

Only because it’s absolutely pointless changing manager now, with 2 weeks left.

As opposed to what? Nothing Selles does really matters any more, he can bring on Keith Chegwin for all I care.

I’ve found a really good stream, so good in fact that we’re even playing well and winning.

Kelvin, Hooiveld, Tella and A. Armstrong were all excellent in the Championship. This team won’t get d*cked but it needs serious new leadership with better ideas and a couple of quality additions.

No, he says we can do it in the press, that’s completely different.

That would be Leeds who’ve just lost 4-1, 5-1 and 6-1 against Bournemouth, Palace and Liverpool. I don’t think there’s any real difference in the fight we’re putting in, Leeds are just marginally less s**t than we are.

So what are you saying? Steve’s point about the partitioning of the concourses is perfectly valid, there’s no feasible way of just moving them up into a corner without having to structurally alter the stadium.

Am I understanding this right, you're saying it'd be a good idea to have mixed fans in the same concourse? That's quite unequivocally a bad idea and there's no way it'll get approved by the club or the Police, regardless of what goes on at Fulham.

I've no idea why people are putting the likes of Doyle and Ballard in the team and talking about next season. How is being thumped 5-0 against teams we wont be playing next season, under a manager who wont be here, in any way beneficial? Selles needs to keep putting out the best team he can, as poor as that will no doubt be, and we can regroup properly in the summer.

As if by magic, the openers are a tonne up without loss.

We are talking about Great British Pounds, Sterling? £20-25m is a good price for a player who looked useless in his only foray into the Premier League.

On a football pitch?