Lighthouse

No way Daws is getting in the Ashes squad at this short notice, I reckon it’ll be Ahmed.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-65806152 I guess that's it then. Months of preparation all over in 20 minutes this morning.

https://dvlaregistrations.dvla.gov.uk/search/prefix-number-plates.html?numbers=4&letter1=E&letter2=L&letter3=K&action=results&pricefrom=0&priceto=&prefixmatches=&searched=true&openoption=yes&language=en&super=w43lk&super_pricefrom=0&super_priceto=&origp=W&orign=4&origl=ELK&research=1&prefix=&fpsearch=1 I tried W4 ELK but the closest available is F4 ELK for £600. Would you like me to change your username, Fhelk?

My car has got my name written in binary on the plate. As you can imagine, it’s an absolute, military strength pussy magnet.

I’ve spent the day at Thruxton and Christ, the number of people who just sit there in direct sun all day and roast without a drop of sun cream is incredible.

I think my favourite memory of Hazard is of him not scoring all season in 2015/16, then turning up to thump in an absolute world against Spurs to stop them winning the title.

Eden Hazard being released on a free, so that's a good cheap replacement for Moi lined up.

F**k me, that was a good evening out. I thought we were making a meal of it when we let them have 144 after being 66-6, followed by 1 off our first two overs but fair play, that was an absolute walloping in the end. Being ultra critical, I’m not sure I’d have gone with the extra bowler, given how we bat. That looked like a bit of a long tail to me, considering how we’ve been batting.

When was goal we conceded which was a yard offside? Or one we had disallowed which was a yard on? Or penalty we conceded where a player was literally never touched and threw himself to the floor?

Without it we have absurdity like Henry vs. Ireland, Fonte vs. Brighton and David Silva’s goal against us in 2014. You can debate whether that was really a penalty but the point is it was debatable, rather than a travesty, which is what VAR removes.

VAR doesn’t do anything other than give officials a better look at an incident. If you have a gripe it’s with the officials, who are capable of making equally bad decisions in real time.

Which I'd say is fairly obviously what's being negotiated. Neither club wants this dragging on for another month but Swansea are quite obviously not going to just give up a chunk of cash without a fight. It'll be some sort of compromise, eventually.

There’re no such things as rubbish clubs, it’s all about the set which works for you. Too many ‘all the gear, no idea’ types playing golf.

I wouldn’t say we’re a one man team but we’re not far off a one man batting unit. That said, useful 21 off the last. Big total to defend now.

A club without a pot to piss in are being dick by holding out for money they're entitled to?

My phone properly dropped me in it with my ex. a couple of times. It corrected, "can't wait to see you later," into, "can't wait to see you Katie." It also changed, "I love you baby," to, "I love you Abby." My ex. was called neither Katie nor Abby, needless to say this caused a couple of 'discussions'.

We really laboured the power play for some reason, once McDermott went ground to a halt. Yep, was announced on the PA last night as he did it. Opening batsman not out two games in a row, too.

The problem is not ALL of my search history is actually porn, so I’m currently watching a large, black body builder, in a naughty nurse’s uniform, toasting bagels on a 900W, De Longhi, plug in electric grill. I’m not sure on this, seems a bit niche.

Bloody Surrey again. Those three consecutive sixes off Crane killed it stone dead.

Probably have a w*nk, but an interactive one where the characters on screen change their behaviour according to my search history.

Theories on the latest attack on Moscow? I’m going with desperate false flag operation to try and rally up public support for the war and draw attention from the forecasted counter offensive.

Which kind of backs up my point. Staying loyal to Miss Sweden when you have an opportunity to sleep with Miss World isn't exactly hardship.

As much as I admire that, staying at Juventus when you’re already multiple WC, CL and Serie A winning global superstars really isn’t much of a sacrifice. They’d all gone out and proven themselves at the top level, earned more money than they’ll ever need and knew they’d be back at the top level in pretty much immediately. Totti I would say was akin to if Kane chose to spend his whole career at Spurs. Commendable and no doubt he’d have bigger offers but he’s still paid very handsomely at a club in and out of the Champions League.

No they didn’t, they’ve been dreadful and easily as weak minded as Saints all season. They completely downed tools at home to Newcastle. Half the ground had left by FT, the team could easily have lost 7-1 with better finishing and a marginal offside. Pickford is the difference. That’s it, Pickford. Period. They have England’s #1, we have two Championship standard keepers. They say a decent GK is 10 points a season, they finished 11 ahead of it.

I kind of see that the other way around. For someone in a low income, unskilled job an annual rise from £20k to £22k is absolutely massive, yet a consultant neurosurgeon jumping from £180k to £200k isn’t really going to change all that much. Obviously tripling someone’s wage is different but I don’t think that’d be on the cards with modern PL money. I think SR would push the boats out to keep him and offer £120kpw and Chelsea or Spurs wouldn’t offer him that much more.