Lighthouse

We’re playing well at the moment but we’re 12th for a reason. We aren’t this good and we aren’t as bad as the team that just lost to Newcastle, Burnley and West Ham.

Not really an ‘other game’ but apparently it’s 10 years ago tonight that Gazza turned up to an armed Police standoff with a KFC megabucket.

With Hoj, Boufal, Cédric, Yoshi, Clasie and Austin all coming off our wage bill, you’d think we might free up a bit of breathing space, in that regard.

You’ve got to be absolutely f**king kidding me.

More to the point, Fernandes did a little pirouette and stood on Konsa’s ankle. I’ve seen them given as a red card the other way.

How the frig was that a penalty?

I wish. It'd be 1-5 by now.

I'm going to say 83rd minute Everton winner; deflected Sigurdsson shot from the edge of the area.

What a pointless foul that was.

How is it not 0-4.... oh right, Goodison.

You don’t get closer than that. Ooooh pen. Ings or Prowsey?

We’ve got a pretty good hooker. Picked her up in Millbrook last night.

Plank. Should have gone down the wing with that, would have won the line-out at worst.

If it’s possible to look Scouse, Gordon looks proper Scouse.

Anyone want to play the 9-0 drinking game?

Customary, straightforward win at Goodison coming up. COYR!

Because it’s a sh*t hole?

I wasn’t born either but it gets on my tits everyone going on about it every time we play Everton. It was a cup semi-final 36 years ago but I reckon if he’d done a drive by shooting at a primary school it’d be talked about less.

I’m sure we did for the last game at the Dell.

It'd have to be Everton for me, for two reasons. Firstly, we never win at Goodison and it'd be good to get that monkey off our back. Secondly, they're a point above us in the table and this is a mid table obscurity six-pointer.

A bit like Lord Duck saying, "on behalf of women everywhere, I'd like to apologise for the feminist movement and admit I belong in the kitchen."

A better analogy would be The acronym WWF being used by the World Wildlife Fund and World Wrestling Federation. Clearly it would be hard to confuse the two when given any context but eventually the wrestlers changed to WWE to save confusion. I don’t really understand why organisations such as the PL persist with BLM, when plenty of other anti-racism slogans are available, which also encompass more than just black people. It would save a lot of tedious bickering.

Just need one more for City and we move up a place.

I completely don't get this attitude. There are so many styles and colours of T-shirt you can have, without going completely abstract. If anything we look like fewer other clubs with the sash. Just Boro, instead of Stoke, Sheff U, Brentford, Atheltico Madrid, Bilbao, PSV, RS Belgrade etc.

The sponsor logo even looks okay on that, although we’ve yet to see the build quality and material used.