Lighthouse

I don't think Juve have forgiven them.

You could probably smoke 2 or 3 cigarettes on weekends for your whole life and suffer no adverse health effects. If people chose to smoke excessively, that's their problem. It's the same with alcohol, you could take a tour of French vineyards shouting, "f**king murdered, thousands of people die from liver disease and drink driving accidents every year!" He's just making money out of other people's stupidity.

Goalkeepers Forster-8 Davis-6 Gazzaniga-5 Defenders Clyne-7 Fonte-9 Toby-9 Yoshida-7 Gardos-6 Bertrand-9 Targett-6 Midfielders Davis-5 Wanyama-8 Reed-6 JWP-6 Morgan-8 Tadic-6 Djuricic-4 Attackers Pelle-7 Mane-7 Long-4 Ellia-4 Going by 5 as being average I think some of you are being very kind to a few of our players. Long for instance, 5 goals and all at home to very poor opposition. I don't care if Long runs around or Djuricic looks good on the ball, they have both failed to deliver.

If someone hangs themself, you don't blame B&Q for selling them some rope.

I would say, aside from replacements for Toby, Morgan and Clyne (depending on who leaves) a decent attacking midfielder would be our #1 priority this summer. I'm sure we can find someone and as such I see no need to keep Gaston. To me him and Djuricic personify our problems this season. Comfortable on the ball and with good technique but fail to deliver any actual impact. You don't get any more points for that than you do hoofing it BFS style up the pitch.

We'll see who's laughing if Kane and Lloris want out and they replace them with another truck load of gash. It's only the failings of Saints, Liverpool and Everton this season who've made them look good, they are no better than last years team. Last summer we were all very selfish for not wanting Lallana and Lovren to leave for Champions League football. This photo proves they definitely aren't massive hypocrites.

A very good season and above my pre-season expectations (about midtable, maybe 8th-12th) but I can't help but thinking 'what might have been'. Before Fraser's injury we had the best defence in the League and I don't think anyone has ever had that honour and missed out on the top four. Perhaps our amazing defence is pushing up my expectations too much but I can't help but feel more from Long, Tadic, Davis, JWP, Ellia and Djuricic would have seen us do it. Finishing below really poor Liverpool and Spurs sides is disappointing and Man Utd have been nothing special over 38 games. Overall though, a great season. We won every League game I went to (7 to be precise) and that 8-0 was once in a lifetime stuff.

He's had enough chances now, can anyone name a time when he actually put in a decent run of performances? I just remember scattered periods of occasional talent, nowhere near enough to warrant a place in our squad. I'd take pretty much any offer to get him off the wage bill. He is only to leave on a free next summer anyway, might as well do it now and free up some wages. Surely someone in Italy will take him.

Fonte is far more important to us than he would be any other team. Nobody will pay our asking price for a 31 year old player, so he wont leave. Short of getting to play for Sporting, or whoever he supports in Portugal, I don't really see him wanting to go anywhere either.

Basically if every fixture was a 2 legged cup tie... Won Sunderland 9-2 Villa 7-2 Newcastle 6-1 Palace 4-1 Hull 3-0 QPR 3-1 Everton 3-1 West Ham 3-1 Burnley 2-1 Arsenal 2-1 Drew Man Utd 2-2 Leicester 2-2 Chelsea 2-2 Stoke 2-2 Swansea 1-1 Lost Man City 5-0 Liverpool 4-1 Spurs 3-2 West Brom 1-0 So basically we beat more than half the teams in this League over 2 legs. If you want to play continental rules, we lost to Man Utd and beat Stoke on away goals.

I'd get rid of Long definitely but I'm not sure anyone will take him. Maybe one of the promoted teams will take a punt on him but he isn't good enough for wear we're aiming. Ultimately, scoring goals has been our weakness in the second half of the season. I'm not saying get any random guy from Europe in, I'm saying that's probably what we will get. I don't mean that in a derogatory way, the club have a far better knowledge of the players available than the armchair experts on a chat forum.

I'd take it, Pelle has done okay but not really uprooted any trees. If we sold him and brought in Austin plus one (some random guy from Europe I've never heard of probably) that would be a decent bit of business.

A few candidates, not necessarily on the pitch today. Osvaldo - Will obviously never play here again but can we sell him? Gaston - Hull wont take him and he hasn't exactly impressed there. One year left, would he take a pay cut for a decent Italian club? Morgan - Will anyone meet Saints asking price? Clyne - Seems the most likely to get a big money move IMO Wanyama - Doesn't seem as in demand as Morgan Djuricic - Hasn't done enough for me, we can find much better surely. Can't remember one goal he has made. Elia - Aside from Newcastle I've seen little from him worth paying for. Toby - Surely he will have bids which are way out of our price range. On the plus side I think we get £1.5m if Athleti reject our bid. Gazza - Never looked like a Premier League 'keeper bar the occasional respectable game (Villa, Cardiff away last year) Kelvin - Could he just retire and take up a coaching role for the remainder of his contract, or go elsewhere for a 2 year deal?

I always liked San Marino

0 points from Lithuania to Russia. Somebody is getting invaded tomorrow.

I've always known Spudders was a closet Eurosexual. I'm glad he is finally being honest with himself.

I'm sure there are some more closet Euro lovers out there Johnny. They will probably turn up in the morning saying stuff like, "yeah I heard about this on Twitter," and claiming their 'friend' really liked it.

I hate those 'I'm beautiful in my own way' songs by fat people. You aren't beautiful, you have a serious weight problem. You need some serious diet and exercise if you don't want to end up with heart disease and diabetes. Sweden and Norway seem pretty decent. UK was camp and quirky enough to do alright. Armenia was pretty painful.

Of course he would say that, standard last day of the season pre-match press conference. When thousands of people are paying £50 for a ticket you can't just say, "nah we can't really be arsed for Sunday." What it comes down to is whether a bunch of players, after a long grueling season, will be willing to lunge into 50/50 tackles and headers or go sprinting full pelt to get back and defend. Or will it be in their mind that they're jetting off on a private yacht around Ibiza in 12 hours and they'd rather not spend 6 weeks in the physio room unable to walk instead. Not saying it will be easy, just don't read anything into these press conferences.

He doesn't seem to be any happier on Twitter these days "Gonna have to call out a doctor. **** sake." "Doctor won't come out, not interested. Says water and bland food and it may last a week. **** my ****ing bastard life." Get well soon Will!

I read the title to mean his body had been donated for some sort of medical experiment. Feel underwhelmed with the actual story.

Liked golf believe it or not. Started arguing with and slagging off the old mods, namely Ponty I think. Then everyone started picking on him and he got upset when the mods didn't help. Strange fellow, hope he has found some inner peace.

Slim pickings on the main board really, what with all the wet vegetables shouting about we were an embarrassment to football and one thread where people were suggesting we should apply to the FA to 'graciously drop out of the League.' Even Turks has been off form this season but he is young, hungry and guaranteed to improve so I will let him off. ART has been a ray of sunlight, clearly off his trolley and wonderfully entertaining. I think I'll have to give my Top 3 to none-main-boarders 1. Bearsy - Where would this place be without the Great Bear. 2. Sarnia - You adorable, gun wielding, moose f**king fruitcake. 3. Lou - She'll only b*tch if I don't include her.

Perhaps watching Lolvren and Lollana sitting on the bench and only playing Europa and Cup games next season will put them off jumping ship for short term glory. Will Liverpool even be able to offer big wages any more? They've already got some meaty earners their an no CL money this time.

Carlton Palmer, David Nugent, Darren Anderton...