Secret Site Agent

We have 29,600 real fans not plastics (debatable i know) We do not have to put a list together to prove we are better, (****, better stop now)

60 % Now. What a bunch of W-ankers

I think we should invite the Echo. And when they turn up, deny them entry to Wembly

The Game has just ended. PS: Well thanks for everything, Nic, Marko. I'll be seeing you. Shakes both their hands NC: Before you go, Peter can you do me a favour? PS: Why yes, Nic me old mate, me old mucker, me old pal. What is it? NC: Can you give me back my watch. You took it when you shook me hand. PS: Yeh, sorry about that. NC: And Marcus' watch PS: Here you go. NC: And our wallets PS:Yeh, sure. NC: And the cutlery! PS: Can I keep the sp.... NC:NO! PS: Here ya go NC: And the toilet rolls! PS: I came with them, honest. NC: They have the Saints crest on them. PS: S hit. OK there they are. Anything else? NC: The toilet seats? PS: No i aint got no .......... Nicola points to his neck PS: oh, THOSE Toilet seats. Yeh, forgot about them. NC: Have you got anything else? PS: No NC: Peter? You wouldn't lie to me would you? PS: Ok, you got me bang to rights.Here's your Saints Scarf Marcus. NC: Do we have to search you? PS: No. I always go to away game with these Saints monigramed mints, this Yukka plant, 4 cusions, 2 heated towel rails, five bars of soap, a Tampon machine, three remote controls, two copies of FourFourTwo, eight letters addressed to Mr M Liebherr, a water fountain, six sets of car wheel trims, A large Ted Bates statue, 12 pairs of football boots in various sizes and 16 towels. It's all about the comfort and being prepared you know. NC: Give them back or I'll have to use the hose again. PS: I'm sorry nic. I don't know what came over me. Here is your stuff back. PS throws the stuff on the floor and Nicola checks it NC: Hang on. These towels have got 'DE VERE HOTEL' written on them. PS: Oh, they are definatly mine. YOINK. ML: And is this yours? One token for a, and excuse my english but, what is a 'Rum-Tum-Soapy-Tit-****-love-you-long-time in container number 4?' PS: Oh that's Avrams. I meant to pass it to him. NC: Now GET OUT!!!! PS: Yes, sir. Storrie leaves slowly. He stops and looks back, but Marcus and Nicola just point to the door. NC: Go. Nicola turns to Marcus and lets out a deep sigh NC: I don't know Marcus. What are we going to do with Peter Storrie? ML:Wait a minute. I know this one........hmmm,hmm,Little boy,.... da, la, Mother,..do,do, ....Ah, I got it. I'll go and put some soap in my mouth, and you Nicola has to go and get my fathers gun!!!Is that right? A little head pops round the door The little head: Can I come in now? NC: I ****ing told you Murray, your barred. SECURITY, SECURITY.....I'll tell you what, Marcus, I'll get us both a couple of AK47's. Join us next week for our next installment of 'The Solvent and the Insolvent'

OH, can I also say that if this was the reaction of a couple of men who want to get rid of their manager because he is crap, you can call me Shirley.

I just want to go up and kiss him right in the middle of his bold swede. And give NC a littl tickle under the chin.

We started 24th, with a 10 point penalty We are now 12th. To me that is an improvement and a tend going in the right direction. I can't see anyone requiring someone to overcome a dis-advantage like this, nor anyone undertaking the challenge, without achievable goals.

Sorry, but recent developments have, to my mind, ruled the Echo out as a reliable source. To much in the way of an agenda to trust their reporting.

It is still unsubstantiated, though. and no, I don't believe he will replace Pardew unless he, foolishly, said, 'give me the funds and I will win promotion this season.' Sorry, itr just doesn't make business sense.

Aaahh. Are you perhaps alluding to the, dare I say it, Gelling thing? And by the way, I agree.

I have had a chance to see that statement now. And I read it as 'Don't forget, I know we are all excited, children, BUT our main focus should be on the league, not the cups. So please try and put a little bit of effort in there as you can do better. I am slightly disappointed in your league performance lately.' I see no warning to Pardew, no attack on the team, no shot across anyones bows. This is a focusing statement that we want to go up the league, and we are all excited about cup games, but winning the cup wont get us out of this league. And I find it a little bit crafty as Graham Murty put it, (and those that berate him and call him thick, they can **** off. Come and lay some concrete for me and lets see how 'thick' you appear out of your confiort zone. He gets paid to kick the ball, not as a pundit. BUT i did like his open and honest frshness),he has taken the pressure off of the players by saying, 'Hey, don't worry if you win or lose in the cup. It's no big deal. just go out and have fun.' Which, from a psycological point of view equates to giving them a BIG push. We all know this, and we all want this. I guess others take it as a 'If you don't perform I will be sacking you, killing your friends, selling your kids into white slavery, putting your wife on the game, and crippling you and taking your livelyhood away.' Which is a shame, as the man, NC, has shown he is both professional and has an understanding of getting the best out of your team.

**** it. Lets give the player some real **** on saturday. Lets boo them when they come out and call them names everytime they get on the ball because they don't feel no sense of urgency and they definatly don't want to win anything at all. Why would they. Thaye aint from round here. Oh, sarcasm is my god.

Yeh Let em come we can take them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I recommend we first take them to the Maritime Museum to show them our maritime history, then after a quick ice cream in Mayflower Park, it'll be off to West Key Road, to do some shopping, with a stop in Ikea for some real Swedish meatballs...................

I am looking forward to singing: Your only here 'cause we let you 'here cause we leeeeeeeet you, Thank god for our charidy, Here 'casue we let you.

This is the first time I have agreed with you Glasgow, but I still stand by the fact that we are not a team yet, in the months time, or two or three, then maybe, but at the moment we will have to take what we can get with little tweaks here and there until we finally find a winning formation. Then we will get frustrated because other teams will stop us playing our game, and we will have to change and develop again.

11 wins in 28 may not be good enough for a league 1 TEAM, but it's not bad for a bunch of indivduals and strangers who haven't played together before. I would like to harp back to the simple staement: TARGET: In August Pardew is told we must survive in League 1 PRESENT OUTCOME: We are surviving in league 1 CONCLUSION: Lets sack him because we haven't won the League title Yeh, lets sack him because he hasn't achieved a target that was never set for him, or anyone, because in theory you can put together a bunch of strangers with superior skills and they will beat a team who have played together for a while. After all, going through 20 managers a season is something we haven't tried before, and it works for teams like Man U and Arsenal who are constantly sacking their managers. Oh, the irony.

just cut and paste the 'Yeh lets change managers every five minutes as that has serves us so well in the past' statement And also for failing to achieve a target that was never required in the first place. Whilst we are at it, lets sack him for not winning the champions league, the premiership and the six nations.

Yes because in business you do not establish a five year plan and then start sackings after failure to not achieve a target that was't originally set. This may not be the case in football, but I believe he is applying a business model.

Come on Saints Woohoo Goals from Barney and Punchie please Plus a brace from Lambo

On the last post, I was hoping to put: And how much does she charge.

Didn't say nothing about the Echo delivering croissants. They could have you know

In my mind it is the Echo utilising the situation: ECHO: Hey John, we can't come in to SMS. We bin banned because they don't believe in the freedom of the press. So we can't publicise your charidy JS: Really? Well, as a telejournalist, I think that is terrible. The freedom of the press is tantamount as the bedrock of todays society. We provide the checks and balances in a democratic society. ECHO:Yeh. Can I quote you on that. That'll learn them and that nasty Nicolas Courtney that they can't control the press. JS: Of course you can. Any chance of squeezing in a plug for my brothers new DVD whilst your at it. ECHO: F Uck off. All totally created in my warped little mind. Dramitisation. may never have happened.

With all these jokes and jolity, I would like to get serious here. I think we should all think about the poor prostitute involved in this sordid affair. I mean, has she been paid yet? (Edit) Sorry, I was too slow putting this one up. Tomobz beat me to it. Shoot me please

bub bub balara, lub dub bala bub bub balara, lub dub bala Dub dub delubda dub dub delubda Welcome to the Pompey FC Circus.

If we could have had the next photo AFTER walking into the fence. A look of pain - It's a boy A look of pleasure - It's a girl