Secret Site Agent

Who do you reckon will be there? My estimation: Lawrie Mac Channon Lucy pinder Gav Davis Fred Dinage (the skate loving ****) Sally from South Today That bird with the funny nose off of GMTV, Fiona Phillips, (or is she a Chelski supporter now) Franny Banali Anyone else?

I noticed this morning, purely by accident, that the Football League Show was on the BBC RED BUTTON at about 8.30. As I missed it last night I watched it before it began propper on the Beeb

Or simply there was no three year plan And no spoon either.

embarrased

Tim, I appreciate your dream, and, just for you, I am going to put on a bet in the bookies. For the rest of you moaners, kiss my salty chocolate balls.

Make me have it!!!!!!! I'll build it, and this time i'll make it more improved, and a better job that those sweaty socks from Barr ever did, third on quality, first on price, final bill over budget. Allowed subcontractors to cut galvanised steel and use galvafroid instead of regalvanise, i still have my doubts over the drainage and the piling. If you see that Nicky feller, tell him me and me mates 'all build him one cheap, £100 million, with retractable roof, scateproof doors, multipar use access styles, Bar code reader for tickets, gel pack seating, accoustic tiles, and we'll even throw in a red and white motif on the staunchions and a 'come on you reds' motif within the pitch. And we'll do it in 9 months. And we'll tarmac his drive, and fix his roof.

Sorry, Thorpie old love. That decision isn't down to the police, but the Judge/Magistrate.

Sorry, and all that, but when it comes down to it, you are innocent until proven guilty. That is the law of the land. If you wish to go in and assist the police with their enquiries, this does not infer guilt. If you have a solicitor it does not infer guilt. If you wish to walk out at any stage, (unless of course under arrest) it does not infer guilt. Perhaps you are only there to assist the police with their enquiries, or to eliminate yourself from the investigation. Even that loverly caution that they throw at you, even though it's intention was to rock the criminal community who used to keep schtum, was only re-written to allow this thing they have in court called, 'inference', to be used if you believe that their version of events or alibi must be a total lie because otherwise you would have brought it up when arrested. I for one do not know if they are guilty or not, and, (gonna shock you), I don't really care. IF they had committed a crime, and it is proven, then they should be punished within the law. IF the case cannot be proven, then, boys and girls, unfortunately they are innocent of the crime and off they go, free as a bird. I hate to say it, but I believe in the rule of law. I believe it is broken and in some respects non-functional, I believe it is biased in favour of the criminal, and I believe that it can be improved by listening to those that do the job, and getting rid of a lot of the paperwork. I don't believe all coppers are bastards, just some of them, as I believe not all site managers are bastards, but some of them are. In life not everyone in the population are bastards, just some people. I also believe that it is everyone’s civic duty to, if they know these people, encourage them to give themselves up, or to in their own good conscience inform on them to the police, or not to. I nether encourage or discourage, and I don't judge as I do not know the circumstances involved. Got I hate being serious, especially on a Friday night but I am working. Anyway the first one is either a Lemmy from Motorhead or my skinnier younger brother.

I would prefer to wipe my arse with the Blackberry to be honest. Lump of **** that it is. They just wont give me an Iphone. Bastards.

It seems it can be spelt both ways. I can't believe we are disagreeing over the spelling of a made up word from a TV programme. Great Isn't it.

Got English Language at A level, my friend. But, as the9 will tell you, big Simpson fan. Sorry, in joke that went right over your head. And the fact i wrote it in the middle of the M1 in a portaloo on a blackbury is, I think, quite an achievement.

Well done. The identification of crumulent only 'Embiggens' you, The9!!!!!It has only taken 3 years on th is board.

Yes. My father had a funny sense of humour. As long as you don't mind me calling you Glasgow And I was transcribing it as I went, to establish some contemporanious notes should I decide to take legal action over the success of the five year plan.

Simple question that came up with my depressed pompey supporting workforce. Considering the difference in quality between the pitch at SMS and the pitch eslewhere, should part of our preparations be on a less prepared, more soggy undulating pitch, to maybe get used to a more, shall we say, alternative way of playing? Discuss, please, crumulent, well thought out arguments, parliamentry rules apply. Go!!!

No, I think it is more a case of you wanting it now,now,now, rather than them wanting an immediate return on their investment. I think you'll find that they have a target to get back into the Premiership, and once there they will reap the rewards, but it is a waiting game, and nothing would be a greater set back than to gain promotion too soon, be unable to keep the foothold whilst you offload the L1 players and find CCC/EPL types, and end up being relegated. Think of it as a military strategy. You have to prepare your best troops and then advance when you are ready. Then you must strengthing your position before moving on. Season 1) Spend a season in L1 to ensure we remain here, ( Remember we are 16 points from playoffs, but only 12 from Relegation) and build the team to not only win in L1 and get promotion, but strong enough to gain mid table in the CCC. Season 2) Gain automatic promotion with the team, picking up and strengthening and giving depth ever so slightly, just fine tuning the team. Season 3) Into the CCC, looking for Mid table to Top 10, with some more strengthening the team to survive in the PL, getting rid of those that no longer give value with maybe the upshot that we could reach the play-offs. Season 4) Gain promotion either automatically or through play-offs, but automatically would be the target, picking up and strengthening and giving depth ever so slightly to the team, just fine tuning the team. Season 5) Lookinbg for Mid table, definatly, in the Promised land of over paid mercenaries, screaming girls, and failed marriages. You could call this a 5 year plan. maybe I'll sugest it to NC? SSA: Hi, is that Mr Nicola Cortese? NC: yes it is. You are on speaker phone. with me is Marcus and Alan. SSA: Hello everyone. Can I just start by saying to Marcus, many thanks for rescuing us, and also cudos on the design of the new Toroidal continuously variable transmission and the upcoming Bauma’ Innovation Award for your energy storage cylinder in the new LH 12 C. ML: Yes, thank you little man. Now stop soft soaping, what do you want? SSA: Well, I have this 5 year plan for getting us back into the premiership. In season one, we consolidate........... NC: Um, let me just stop you there a second. Has this 5 year plan anything to do with Consolidation-Promotion cycle with spending one year building a team for the next. SSA: Yes it does. How did you guess? NC: You haven't been bugging the conference room have you? or my bedroom? Or the toilets? SSA: No. I don't do things like that anymore. I've changed, ever since the unpleasantness that we don't talk about any more. I just had this idea. ML: Sorry, already thought of it. AP: Yes and we have even had tee-shirts made. NC: And napkins. On one side is the Saints crest, on the other is the five year plan. AP: What do you think we been doing this season? SSA: Yes, sorry. It's just I have some other fans who think that Mr Leibherr should spend 2.5 Billion Euros in this league to get us to the premiership. ML: Tell me, Mr Site Agent... SSA: Please Marcus, call me Secret. ML: OK, Secret, and you can call me Herr Liebherr. Are you any good at the management of construction? SSA: Why yes, I believe I am. ML: Then I don't have to worry about you making a living as a Football Manager, or director of a Football Club. NC: Thanks for calling Mr Agent. Keep supporting the Saints. Come on you reds, and we will see you on Saturday. SSA: But what should I tell those that want instant success? NC: Tell them they are idiots. I don't come round their house telling them how to sell fries with another purchase, so please ask them to trust that I know what I am doing. AP: And that goes for me, too. None of them have a bell, do they? SSA: No. AP: And you? SSA: No, I haven't got a bell. AP: Is you first name Peter? SSA: No! AP: Just checking. We have had a number of people making suggestions lately that makes no business or footballing sense what so ever. I mean, who in their reight mind is going to buy players they can't afford. NC: Yes. And do you remember the one about you can save money by not paying the tax man. ML: I found the interesting one to be the man who wanted me to partner up with him selling 'hand held ex-russian' machinery in the middle east. NC: Anyway , Mr Agent. Thanks for phoning. SSA: No problem. Just trying to help. Umm, Herr Liebherr. Any chance of a bit of a discount from your family on a LTM 1500-8 in Blue on easy terms? ML: Can you **** off now please. SSA: Thank you gents.

Dear Window Cleaner. Please look up in the dictionary 'Humour' 'Sarcasm' 'Irony' and 'Caricature'. Within this debate i would like to say that it is a fact that certain fast food conglomorates target those on a fixed low income, and in some cases have to, to keep their margins up as there is only so much you can squeeze out of a farmer/supplier. And if you want fast food, I have worked in a few places around the world and Luton Cente is wall to wall fast food joints. never seen anywhere like it.

AH, you are going to gte shot down, man, you know that. However I agree with you. I enjoy this football as it is good to be considered a power house and to have a good team. Also it is good to know that we can beat any team on the day, (although our performance is measured in how good the other team is) and can go on and even win this league. In the Premier****, it'll be back to the 'are we going to avoid relegation this season' watch, with watching over paid mercenaries, albeit very talented ones, and being happy for a week because we won one, for a change. Unless of course Markus invests 100m and we manage to f*** over the big four. Especially if they start to have debt problems. Yeh, as if. Who ever heard of a team in the Premiership having debt problems and going into administration?

Mentioning GLASGOW SAINT shouldn't be an infraction. We all love you really, in a Duncan Banatyne, grows on us like a fungus, way. I'm also sure that the Pompey fans would agree.

And finally, do you know what Rod Hull was doing on that roof?

Serious question time. With regard to transfers, do you draw a tough line in cost and terms with regard to negotiations, or are you willing to be flexible in your approach?

When you were a boy, did you ever ask your mother a question, where part of the answer required you to wash out your mouth and retrieve your Fathers firearm?

Does Markus know who the bastard in the black is?

Can you ask Marcus if the A 934 C Litronic Material Handler comes with a crushing grab, and is it suitable for bridge demolition.

Were you at the Tranmere game? And if so, who was the bastard in the black?