Secret Site Agent

The GS school of football. I'll help him out here. What Saints need to do is: 1 win more 2 play better 3 Keep things simple 4 Score one more than the other team 5 pass the ball 6 Defend 7 Save shots 8 When we get a corner, kick it in the area 9 Buy more players 10 Sack all managers that fail 11 If we lose, restart the computer and reload the game 12 the team to eat less pies 13 Score penalties 14 Save any penalties that the opposition try to score 15 When we are winning, don't lose. 16 When we are losing, score more goals and go on and win 17 When we are drawing, score more goals and go on and win 18 The FA to allow us to have our 10 points back And based on this, the Glasgow Saint method, means that we will win all games, win automatic promotion and continue to be masters of the Premiership. Meanwhile, in the real world, the rest of us are a little content, but more constructive with our critisism as we strive to improve.

What if, say, FIFA allow Pompey to sell their players, and no one is buying? After all, what is to say they don't just decide, " we don't agree with this, so we aren't going to gte Pompey out the ****. **** them, and we'll get the players on a free anyway, and show our displeasure that way".

What do you get when 50 Pompey supporters protest outside the Old Bailey? A full set of teeth.

I have been trying to come up with one, and the following song keeps popping up in my mind: 'Gypsies, tramps and thieves' by Cher. Not keeping in with the acronym, but need I say more?

Yeh. that can't be right. They paid thier taxes over a year ago. (Another Simpson Joke)

Amen, brother. And so mote it be. I could have written this myself.

It seems our cousins down the road have asked the FA if they can sell players outside of the transfer window! http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/p/portsmouth/8522283.stm Is it me or should we put in an official complaint as they bought in players, played us and stoke, and now want to sell some, outside of the established rules. Something smells more fishy than the previous smell of haddock from the 'plaice'. However it seems to be a moot point as apparently it is a FIFA condition.

True, but think of the book it'll generate and the film it'll make, starring Danny Dyer.

I am not gay and I can prove it. I amhappily married with 3 children!!!!! Now give us a kiss, you hunk a burning love.

As mentioned, it doesn't indicate top two And as we know, the Echo has an agenda. Not convinced I'm afraid. Can you quote something previous, where this was mentioned? The play off thing seems to have come a bit out of the blue.

I have got to ask friend, Source? Please someone point out I am wrong, with sufficiently acceptable independant evidence of WHERE they said we must achieve the top 2. I don't recall. And read the post again. Pardew is told the target is survival, I quote the interview given to the Radio Solent September 26th 2009.

Thanks for that. Neuro-linguistic programming teaches us that we you say 'NO' the sub-conscous, or uncouscoius mind, interprets that as yes. To prove my point, DON'T Think of a yellow tree. See, you did. So theyin has, unwittingly, given us all a sub-conscous message that we should be homophobic. Why would you do that? Why? None of us had a racist or homophobic bone in our body until you did this. I hope you are happy with yourself. For shame!"!!!!!!"

Sorry, friend, i post what I think, wether it be with the majority, or in a minority. So, there you are. Wrong with a capital W

We have 29,600 real fans not plastics (debatable i know) We do not have to put a list together to prove we are better, (****, better stop now)

60 % Now. What a bunch of W-ankers

I think we should invite the Echo. And when they turn up, deny them entry to Wembly

The Game has just ended. PS: Well thanks for everything, Nic, Marko. I'll be seeing you. Shakes both their hands NC: Before you go, Peter can you do me a favour? PS: Why yes, Nic me old mate, me old mucker, me old pal. What is it? NC: Can you give me back my watch. You took it when you shook me hand. PS: Yeh, sorry about that. NC: And Marcus' watch PS: Here you go. NC: And our wallets PS:Yeh, sure. NC: And the cutlery! PS: Can I keep the sp.... NC:NO! PS: Here ya go NC: And the toilet rolls! PS: I came with them, honest. NC: They have the Saints crest on them. PS: S hit. OK there they are. Anything else? NC: The toilet seats? PS: No i aint got no .......... Nicola points to his neck PS: oh, THOSE Toilet seats. Yeh, forgot about them. NC: Have you got anything else? PS: No NC: Peter? You wouldn't lie to me would you? PS: Ok, you got me bang to rights.Here's your Saints Scarf Marcus. NC: Do we have to search you? PS: No. I always go to away game with these Saints monigramed mints, this Yukka plant, 4 cusions, 2 heated towel rails, five bars of soap, a Tampon machine, three remote controls, two copies of FourFourTwo, eight letters addressed to Mr M Liebherr, a water fountain, six sets of car wheel trims, A large Ted Bates statue, 12 pairs of football boots in various sizes and 16 towels. It's all about the comfort and being prepared you know. NC: Give them back or I'll have to use the hose again. PS: I'm sorry nic. I don't know what came over me. Here is your stuff back. PS throws the stuff on the floor and Nicola checks it NC: Hang on. These towels have got 'DE VERE HOTEL' written on them. PS: Oh, they are definatly mine. YOINK. ML: And is this yours? One token for a, and excuse my english but, what is a 'Rum-Tum-Soapy-Tit-****-love-you-long-time in container number 4?' PS: Oh that's Avrams. I meant to pass it to him. NC: Now GET OUT!!!! PS: Yes, sir. Storrie leaves slowly. He stops and looks back, but Marcus and Nicola just point to the door. NC: Go. Nicola turns to Marcus and lets out a deep sigh NC: I don't know Marcus. What are we going to do with Peter Storrie? ML:Wait a minute. I know this one........hmmm,hmm,Little boy,.... da, la, Mother,..do,do, ....Ah, I got it. I'll go and put some soap in my mouth, and you Nicola has to go and get my fathers gun!!!Is that right? A little head pops round the door The little head: Can I come in now? NC: I ****ing told you Murray, your barred. SECURITY, SECURITY.....I'll tell you what, Marcus, I'll get us both a couple of AK47's. Join us next week for our next installment of 'The Solvent and the Insolvent'

OH, can I also say that if this was the reaction of a couple of men who want to get rid of their manager because he is crap, you can call me Shirley.

I just want to go up and kiss him right in the middle of his bold swede. And give NC a littl tickle under the chin.

We started 24th, with a 10 point penalty We are now 12th. To me that is an improvement and a tend going in the right direction. I can't see anyone requiring someone to overcome a dis-advantage like this, nor anyone undertaking the challenge, without achievable goals.

Sorry, but recent developments have, to my mind, ruled the Echo out as a reliable source. To much in the way of an agenda to trust their reporting.

It is still unsubstantiated, though. and no, I don't believe he will replace Pardew unless he, foolishly, said, 'give me the funds and I will win promotion this season.' Sorry, itr just doesn't make business sense.

Aaahh. Are you perhaps alluding to the, dare I say it, Gelling thing? And by the way, I agree.

I have had a chance to see that statement now. And I read it as 'Don't forget, I know we are all excited, children, BUT our main focus should be on the league, not the cups. So please try and put a little bit of effort in there as you can do better. I am slightly disappointed in your league performance lately.' I see no warning to Pardew, no attack on the team, no shot across anyones bows. This is a focusing statement that we want to go up the league, and we are all excited about cup games, but winning the cup wont get us out of this league. And I find it a little bit crafty as Graham Murty put it, (and those that berate him and call him thick, they can **** off. Come and lay some concrete for me and lets see how 'thick' you appear out of your confiort zone. He gets paid to kick the ball, not as a pundit. BUT i did like his open and honest frshness),he has taken the pressure off of the players by saying, 'Hey, don't worry if you win or lose in the cup. It's no big deal. just go out and have fun.' Which, from a psycological point of view equates to giving them a BIG push. We all know this, and we all want this. I guess others take it as a 'If you don't perform I will be sacking you, killing your friends, selling your kids into white slavery, putting your wife on the game, and crippling you and taking your livelyhood away.' Which is a shame, as the man, NC, has shown he is both professional and has an understanding of getting the best out of your team.

**** it. Lets give the player some real **** on saturday. Lets boo them when they come out and call them names everytime they get on the ball because they don't feel no sense of urgency and they definatly don't want to win anything at all. Why would they. Thaye aint from round here. Oh, sarcasm is my god.