Secret Site Agent

Simple question that came up with my depressed pompey supporting workforce. Considering the difference in quality between the pitch at SMS and the pitch eslewhere, should part of our preparations be on a less prepared, more soggy undulating pitch, to maybe get used to a more, shall we say, alternative way of playing? Discuss, please, crumulent, well thought out arguments, parliamentry rules apply. Go!!!

No, I think it is more a case of you wanting it now,now,now, rather than them wanting an immediate return on their investment. I think you'll find that they have a target to get back into the Premiership, and once there they will reap the rewards, but it is a waiting game, and nothing would be a greater set back than to gain promotion too soon, be unable to keep the foothold whilst you offload the L1 players and find CCC/EPL types, and end up being relegated. Think of it as a military strategy. You have to prepare your best troops and then advance when you are ready. Then you must strengthing your position before moving on. Season 1) Spend a season in L1 to ensure we remain here, ( Remember we are 16 points from playoffs, but only 12 from Relegation) and build the team to not only win in L1 and get promotion, but strong enough to gain mid table in the CCC. Season 2) Gain automatic promotion with the team, picking up and strengthening and giving depth ever so slightly, just fine tuning the team. Season 3) Into the CCC, looking for Mid table to Top 10, with some more strengthening the team to survive in the PL, getting rid of those that no longer give value with maybe the upshot that we could reach the play-offs. Season 4) Gain promotion either automatically or through play-offs, but automatically would be the target, picking up and strengthening and giving depth ever so slightly to the team, just fine tuning the team. Season 5) Lookinbg for Mid table, definatly, in the Promised land of over paid mercenaries, screaming girls, and failed marriages. You could call this a 5 year plan. maybe I'll sugest it to NC? SSA: Hi, is that Mr Nicola Cortese? NC: yes it is. You are on speaker phone. with me is Marcus and Alan. SSA: Hello everyone. Can I just start by saying to Marcus, many thanks for rescuing us, and also cudos on the design of the new Toroidal continuously variable transmission and the upcoming Bauma’ Innovation Award for your energy storage cylinder in the new LH 12 C. ML: Yes, thank you little man. Now stop soft soaping, what do you want? SSA: Well, I have this 5 year plan for getting us back into the premiership. In season one, we consolidate........... NC: Um, let me just stop you there a second. Has this 5 year plan anything to do with Consolidation-Promotion cycle with spending one year building a team for the next. SSA: Yes it does. How did you guess? NC: You haven't been bugging the conference room have you? or my bedroom? Or the toilets? SSA: No. I don't do things like that anymore. I've changed, ever since the unpleasantness that we don't talk about any more. I just had this idea. ML: Sorry, already thought of it. AP: Yes and we have even had tee-shirts made. NC: And napkins. On one side is the Saints crest, on the other is the five year plan. AP: What do you think we been doing this season? SSA: Yes, sorry. It's just I have some other fans who think that Mr Leibherr should spend 2.5 Billion Euros in this league to get us to the premiership. ML: Tell me, Mr Site Agent... SSA: Please Marcus, call me Secret. ML: OK, Secret, and you can call me Herr Liebherr. Are you any good at the management of construction? SSA: Why yes, I believe I am. ML: Then I don't have to worry about you making a living as a Football Manager, or director of a Football Club. NC: Thanks for calling Mr Agent. Keep supporting the Saints. Come on you reds, and we will see you on Saturday. SSA: But what should I tell those that want instant success? NC: Tell them they are idiots. I don't come round their house telling them how to sell fries with another purchase, so please ask them to trust that I know what I am doing. AP: And that goes for me, too. None of them have a bell, do they? SSA: No. AP: And you? SSA: No, I haven't got a bell. AP: Is you first name Peter? SSA: No! AP: Just checking. We have had a number of people making suggestions lately that makes no business or footballing sense what so ever. I mean, who in their reight mind is going to buy players they can't afford. NC: Yes. And do you remember the one about you can save money by not paying the tax man. ML: I found the interesting one to be the man who wanted me to partner up with him selling 'hand held ex-russian' machinery in the middle east. NC: Anyway , Mr Agent. Thanks for phoning. SSA: No problem. Just trying to help. Umm, Herr Liebherr. Any chance of a bit of a discount from your family on a LTM 1500-8 in Blue on easy terms? ML: Can you **** off now please. SSA: Thank you gents.

Dear Window Cleaner. Please look up in the dictionary 'Humour' 'Sarcasm' 'Irony' and 'Caricature'. Within this debate i would like to say that it is a fact that certain fast food conglomorates target those on a fixed low income, and in some cases have to, to keep their margins up as there is only so much you can squeeze out of a farmer/supplier. And if you want fast food, I have worked in a few places around the world and Luton Cente is wall to wall fast food joints. never seen anywhere like it.

AH, you are going to gte shot down, man, you know that. However I agree with you. I enjoy this football as it is good to be considered a power house and to have a good team. Also it is good to know that we can beat any team on the day, (although our performance is measured in how good the other team is) and can go on and even win this league. In the Premier****, it'll be back to the 'are we going to avoid relegation this season' watch, with watching over paid mercenaries, albeit very talented ones, and being happy for a week because we won one, for a change. Unless of course Markus invests 100m and we manage to f*** over the big four. Especially if they start to have debt problems. Yeh, as if. Who ever heard of a team in the Premiership having debt problems and going into administration?

Mentioning GLASGOW SAINT shouldn't be an infraction. We all love you really, in a Duncan Banatyne, grows on us like a fungus, way. I'm also sure that the Pompey fans would agree.

And finally, do you know what Rod Hull was doing on that roof?

Serious question time. With regard to transfers, do you draw a tough line in cost and terms with regard to negotiations, or are you willing to be flexible in your approach?

When you were a boy, did you ever ask your mother a question, where part of the answer required you to wash out your mouth and retrieve your Fathers firearm?

Does Markus know who the bastard in the black is?

Can you ask Marcus if the A 934 C Litronic Material Handler comes with a crushing grab, and is it suitable for bridge demolition.

Were you at the Tranmere game? And if so, who was the bastard in the black?

Is Maradonna coming and will we get Riquelme?

Go on then, show us. NickG did a good job of backing up his point, now you do it.

Yep, I had the same Tranmere 1-2 Southampton. Papa Waigo (Penalty) Then a retraction 10 minutes later. I turned my frown upside down, then another inversion. What ****ing YTS twot have they got working these things. Next they will be sending us the score in advanced based on what happend in Football Manager 2010.

Another poster with less than realistic goals? I really don't care if we make the play offs this year, and never did. For a long time people were saying we were only 15 points from the playoffs, yes, and we are only 12 points from relegation. It is all a matter of perspective. Personally, I would be happy if we didn't get promoted, but I would be almightly ****ed off if we didn't storm the league next season. Remember, Alpine, one must first learnt to walk. For without walking, how can one expect to run and fly?

Just not happy really. Ref was a joke, but if we were 3-1 up it wouldn't have made a difference. Also, I think Pardew should take them training in a field, just to get used to playing on crap grounds.

I'm going to do it right now. Cant say wether I am a tit or reasonable though.

Is it wrong that when I watched that my dinkle went hard.

5-0 **** off Go Papa Weigooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Just come in. As soon as I read about a goal, another has come flying in. And I just burnt the dinner looking here. How do you get rid of the burnt smell? Not that I could giove a rats arse at the moment. Woot

The thing is that I believe that people perform for some an not for others. Also some managers are able to get the best out them, where as others just undermine their confidence.

Toothache? Pressure at the back of the neck leading to head ache? A nagging,itching burning sensation in his genitals? Unfortunatly we will never know, we can only summise and without seeing him, I would find it hard to comment. The above are just as valid as works pressure or warning from NC. So Offix, please don't worry. Rest your weary head and, as Malcolm Gladwell said, do not try and mind read.

Hey, our old friend Glasgow is happy, then I am happy also. More of the same please, and thank got for the gelling

I don't agree with that. The travelling community don't vote. So no voters from the whole of Portsmouth I'm afraid.