We're all different I spose. Last time I lost a relative it seemed to go straight over my head, obviously I was sad, but not as sad as you might think, I didn't mourn. On the opposite side of this though, a year previous my dog died, and I lost it like a kid who couldn't have what it wanted in a toy shop. A 20 year old guy, crying like a baby.
I spose being a bloke, if someone close to you dies, its almost natural to 'put the shields up' and let it gloss over you, as you are usually the one that has to be there for other people, holding it all together.