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Sexism in football...


Coxford_lou

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:rolleyes: sorry i asked. Seems if I want a serious no trolls conversation about my boner i will have to take it to mumsnet again

 

See what you made me google Bear!! Boner forums. Mum jacking :( :eek: Im worried it might be Turkish.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=141843301

 

My son is 19 and though I have not seen him nude since he was a boy, I had seen him by accident about 6 months ago, when he had somehow ended up falling asleep naked in his room after a shower with his door wide open. He was on his back and erect in his sleep. I noticed his hard-on had a severe curve upward. It was bent very sharply like curling up backwards. I had never seen anything like that on any man. It is about 7″ long approximately and is bent more toward the tip in a definite shape of a letter “j”, or a hook, to attempt to describe it to you.

 

I was so shocked that I panicked, and woke him up right then and there. Thinking back, it was not very tactful, but I could not wait to try to get at what appeared to be a real problem. It all made sense, how he would not shower at gym class, and didn’t date, despite being a very well built and handsome boy into sports always. I had always wondered if might be gay, though he denied it always. He awoke surprised and shy that he was naked, but I moved his hands from his erect penis, and asked him what was the matter.

 

We sat and talked after locking his bedroom door. He told me it had started when he was like 12 and got worse, and as I examined it more closely and attempted to straighten it out, it would straighten only very slightly before it would hurt him to force it any further. It being erect, it was very hard and stiff. We allowed it to subside by him putting on his robe a while, and was considerably more normal in the soft state, yet still tending to be curved upwards slightly.

 

I could straighten it easily while soft, but it would bend back up like rubber. As he became erect again it curled up before my eyes into the “j” hook shape despite my trying to keep it straight. Sometimes it even curls while it is in my hands.

 

Now the doctors all said he is fine and it’s normal as far as being a medical issue. They said they could operate to attempt to fix it, but the cost was out of my reach. I am a single parent. So we took trying our own methods, in which I would tell him to stroke it straight whenever he thought about it, and while masturbating to attempt to work the curl out a little more each time.

 

I had taken a little massage therapy classes in the past, and I even work on it for an hour or so 3 days of every week in the evening. It was embarrassing for us both in the beginning and I know it still is me being his mother and all, and even more so that he ejaculates every time during the massage. It is really embarrassing for him when some of his ejaculate gets on my hands, but it turned out to make massaging it in the post-ejaculation, semi-soft state really effective because then I can massage it and straighten it. It curls back in my hands and I massage it straight over and over again, until he becomes erect again and semi hard again after ejaculation, three times in a row, usually over a span of an hour to an hour and a half.

 

It has given good results, as I would say he is 50 percent improved. I continue to treat him 3 days a week.[/SIZE]

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[in a thread talking about physical exams]

I once had a similar experience when I signed up for the bundeswehr (military in germany). A nurse had to check me for tummy rupture (standard procedure) by placing her fingers on the side of my balls and then I had to cough (supposedly if you have a rupture it shows then).

She was really young 17-18 I guess but looked much younger, maybe 15-16, totall jailbait. Normally a male doctor or nurse has to be there if its the opposite gender doing the checkup, but the dude had to go and they just said: f*ck it, where doing it without him (paraphrasing) and she asked me if that was okay (said yes of course).

 

So she tells me to undress my underpants (had already been in underpants for the other checkups) and I do it. My penor was really sweaty and cold, and quite retracted and small because of it. Was really embarrasing but I acted cool (tried at least). The bish tried to keep a cool as well but I saw that she really tried not to smile and giggle because my penor was so small (she couldn't help but smile).

 

She then placed her fingers on the side of my sweaty balls and pressed them against them and told me to cough. I coughed and nothing happened (luckily everything was fine). The she touched my penis with her thumb and indexfinger and lifted it and looked at it from all sides (squezed it in the process) to see if it was okay (because I'm cut, which is unusual in germany, most people aren't cut).

 

She dropped my penor and it bounced around a bit and I could feel it filling with blood.

HOLY SH*T, I kind of freaked out inside because I knew what would happen and that only made it worse. I tried not to get a chubby but failed miserably.

My **** turned rock solid and the one-eyed monster was staring in her face in no time.

Her head was on f*cking blowjob altitude because she was sitting on the chair next to the checkup bench and I was standing infront of her. So my **** was fully erect about may dicklength infront of her face and mouth, I could actually FEEL HER BREATH on my bell-end when she then explained to me that she had to check my balls for cancer.

The mood really took a durnturn and she looked really embarressed and unhappy (like me lol) and her eyes were getting watery from embarressment. So she felt off both of my balls with her fingers while my penis was dangling infront of her face. My **** actually blocked the view for her...

So shes almost done feeling up my testies and then it happened. Ground zero. I could feel my kum bursting out and it hit her right in her pretty jailbait face and in her mouth (she had been breahting through her mouth because her nose was getting snotty because of the watery eyes etc.). It phucking landed INSIDE her mouth!!!

 

I was literally yelling "aw ****" as it happened and it totally hit her by surprise, she completely freaked out and tried to spit it out and started to cry. It was one of the worst experiences of my life and they obviously kick me out and she actually tried to file charges against me (was dismissed by court luckily).

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REAL TALK: Do you look forward to seeing a bros boner? When you meet a guy, do spend time imagining what his boner will look like, and drawing doodles of it on ur notepad i.e. like I do with boobs? Or is it only academic interest? Or is it in the same way that I look forward to seeing new episode of Nathan's For You, i.e. because there is every chance it might prove Hilarious?

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REAL TALK: Do you look forward to seeing a bros boner? When you meet a guy, do spend time imagining what his boner will look like, and drawing doodles of it on ur notepad i.e. like I do with boobs? Or is it only academic interest? Or is it in the same way that I look forward to seeing new episode of Nathan's For You, i.e. because there is every chance it might prove Hilarious?

 

Good questions, though I've got to dash. Will try to answer when I get home later, though might be alcohol influenced, so potentially very shocking. Just warning you.

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