Faz Posted 23 January, 2010 Share Posted 23 January, 2010 Without wishing to detract form the glorious takeover saga thread, what do you think will be the next "You couldn't make it up story" to emerge. Try to keep it vaguely feasible, and then we can see how many of them do actually happen. I'll have a go............ A mystery fire breaks out in the Offices, destroying transfer and agent payment records. The subsequent insurance claim - needed to pay this months wages - is denied because they couldn't afford to pay for their Fire Safety certificate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Kraken Posted 23 January, 2010 Share Posted 23 January, 2010 They pay their staff's wages for January on time. Hang on, sorry. You said vaguely feasible didn't you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint_clark Posted 23 January, 2010 Share Posted 23 January, 2010 Redknapp sues them for one thing or another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 23 January, 2010 Share Posted 23 January, 2010 Hang about, I'm claiming copy right on this thread title :-) Post #8068 5:21 yesterday In shock news today, your on the spot reporter can reveal that Sultan Bin trump has announced that Portsmuff football club has been saved. In this new plan, Bin Trump will take back control of the club having gained special permission from the PL to relocte to the Sheikh Zayed Sports City in Abu Dhabi. It is believed that the local sponsors will pump millions into the club to take it forward. Bin Trump stated "The PL have given us permission to move the club straight after the cup match today. They expect to let us have the final permission to continue playing as an English League club by the end of 2015" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Under Weststand Posted 23 January, 2010 Share Posted 23 January, 2010 (edited) Breaking news :- Headed by Vince Hilaire to be known as the Spinnaker consortium involving Tomac lifelongpompey & help me poopey are pleased to announce that they've today entered into negotiations, and are currently going through due diligence, and hope to be in a position to take over Portsmouth & clear all their debt by Monday. There main backer Mr M Failka said they hoped to have the transfer embargo lifted in time to invest lots & lots of money for new players to keep them in the premier league this year(providing that his Mum & Dad give him his pocket money on time this week).He also said he couldn't wait to get started on redevelopment of the ground with its magnificent round towers at each corner, and the first addition to the Pompey brand would be a petting zoo to be where the carpark is currently located. Mr John Portsmouth Football Club Westwood was said to be really really very exited & was quoted as saying were saved & its great that its headed by our biggest ever legend Vince Hilaire & great to see that we finally have a viable backer in Mr Failka looks like the champions League in 2 years onwards & upwards PUP!(PAY UP POMPEY) Edited 23 January, 2010 by Under Weststand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 23 January, 2010 Share Posted 23 January, 2010 Pompey have been ordered to play their next 2 home games behind closed doors as punishment for the riot that saw their fans rip out seats, invade the pitch and assault players and opposition supporters last week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crab Lungs Posted 23 January, 2010 Share Posted 23 January, 2010 According to one PFC fan, they are being taken over by BP. Or Shell. Or Texaco. He can't quite remember, y'see..... http://boards.footymad.net/forum.php?tno=424&fid=203&sty=2&act=1&mid=2123122847 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedAndWhite91 Posted 23 January, 2010 Share Posted 23 January, 2010 Al Faraj takes out life insurance on Al Fahim, before convincing him it would be a good idea to fake his own death. Unfortunately, Al Fahim makes a complete hash of it, and gets found floating on a dinghy in the Solent, a few days after Al Faraj regrettably informs the public that he saw Al Fahim get stabbed by a gang of feral Pompey yoof. Both Al Fahim and Al Faraj go to jail, and Storrie joins them a week later for the tax evasion charges. Pompey fail to find a buyer and completely fold, whilst down the road at Southampton, we see an increase in attendances, most notably a strange bloke with a massive red hat and a bell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 23 January, 2010 Share Posted 23 January, 2010 Al Faraj takes out life insurance on Al Fahim, before convincing him it would be a good idea to fake his own death. Unfortunately, Al Fahim makes a complete hash of it, and gets found floating on a dinghy in the Solent, a few days after Al Faraj regrettably informs the public that he saw Al Fahim get stabbed by a gang of feral Pompey yoof. Both Al Fahim and Al Faraj go to jail, and Storrie joins them a week later for the tax evasion charges. Pompey fail to find a buyer and completely fold, whilst down the road at Southampton, we see an increase in attendances, most notably a strange bloke with a massive red hat and a bell. You are taking this just one step too far mate. :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faz Posted 23 January, 2010 Author Share Posted 23 January, 2010 Al Faraj takes out life insurance on Al Fahim, before convincing him it would be a good idea to fake his own death. Unfortunately, Al Fahim makes a complete hash of it, and gets found floating on a dinghy in the Solent, a few days after Al Faraj regrettably informs the public that he saw Al Fahim get stabbed by a gang of feral Pompey yoof. Both Al Fahim and Al Faraj go to jail, and Storrie joins them a week later for the tax evasion charges. Pompey fail to find a buyer and completely fold, whilst down the road at Southampton, we see an increase in attendances, most notably a strange bloke with a massive red hat and a bell. Yes, but what happens to Harry the Twitch? Chapter two...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted 23 January, 2010 Share Posted 23 January, 2010 Fialka's sister - who we were once told lives in Skatesmouth - launches a bid to buy them.News breaks in The Jewish Chronicle first. Terry Venables then launches a legal battle to prove he is still the real legal owner of PFC having once bought them for a £1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SOTONS EAST SIDE Posted 23 January, 2010 Share Posted 23 January, 2010 Fialka's sister - who we were once told lives in Skatesmouth - launches a bid to buy them.News breaks in The Jewish Chronicle first. Terry Venables then launches a legal battle to prove he is still the real legal owner of PFC having once bought them for a £1.Yeah Terry Venables, despite advice from his financial advisers that they were overvalued by 99p, still bought them . THE FOOL!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadia Sllim Posted 24 January, 2010 Share Posted 24 January, 2010 Pompey have been ordered to play their next 2 home games behind closed doors as punishment for the riot that saw their fans rip out seats, invade the pitch and assault players and opposition supporters last week. 10,000 Skates is that not like playing behind closed doors? John Deacon junior and Alan Knights ex missus launch £450 takeover bid for P*mpey and promise to install The Chuckle Brothers as the new managment team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torrent Of Abuse Posted 24 January, 2010 Share Posted 24 January, 2010 A Monday press conference features Mark Jacobs strongly appealing for the transfer embargo to be lifted due to a mysterious Arab businessman investing millions in the club. By 2pm it turns out to be a small short term loan from Chinrai. Udinese call up mid press conference to ask where their money is. Jacobs points out the window to an imaginary escaped bear and runs for the emergency exit when no-one is looking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faz Posted 24 January, 2010 Author Share Posted 24 January, 2010 I think we have a winner: http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/forum/showpost.php?p=577915&postcount=8223 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamesaint Posted 24 January, 2010 Share Posted 24 January, 2010 The wages can be paid this week. The Pompey share of the Sunderland FA cup gate was invested on the Saturday night lottery .... and came up lucky. Enough was won to pay the January wages. They are now looking for volunteers to scratch the panels off the 25,000 lottery scratchcards that they plan to buy next week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 24 January, 2010 Share Posted 24 January, 2010 Shock News from Portsmuff. Mark Jacobs is accused of actually stating something factual at a press conference this weekend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint-luco Posted 24 January, 2010 Share Posted 24 January, 2010 They are now looking for volunteers to scratch the panels off the 25,000 lottery scratchcards that they plan to buy next week. 4 for each fan then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amesbury Saint Posted 24 January, 2010 Share Posted 24 January, 2010 only has a youth team for the FA cup match at SMS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faz Posted 24 January, 2010 Author Share Posted 24 January, 2010 Pompey draw a potentially lucrative 5th Round FA Cup tie at SMS, only to be wound up 3 days before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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