qwertyell

Missed all our chances when we were playing quite well in the first half, created next to nothing in the second, customary defensively lapses, lack of quality etc. Just another weekend. I don't know why any manager would start Theo Walcott these days. All he ever had to his game was pace, and that's long gone. There's not another person alive who expected anything from him today. What on earth is the point?

Fucking Bednarek again. Honestly, I think he might be less mobile even than Vestergaard.

Nah, Burnley will be all right. They've actually been playing pretty well - by their standards - and will start shithousing points again soon enough. Hopefully not this weekend, though.

Brentford look horrible to play against. No chance they're going to be down at the bottom this season.

Well played. Win. Clean sheet. Played okay as well. Made an absolute meal of an appalling Leeds side, mind you. I mentioned a couple of weeks back that they might be in trouble this season - they're a couple of injuries shy of being a mediocre Championship side who can't defend. We need more cutting edge. Can't be barely managing a goal every other game. Broja took his chance well and is a handful, albeit quite raw at times. Redmond had a good game, but he needs to be on the wing not as a strike pairing, IMHO. Also, Diallo balances the midfield far better than Ward-Prowse because his mobility is on a different level. Not sure how we resolve that moving forwards, but that's tomorrow's problem. Anyway, something to build on. Let's back it up against Burnley.

Can't say we've played badly, but still nothing to show from it against probably the most open defence we'll face all season. Both quite promising and quite worrying all at the same time - impossible to believe Leeds can be that bad for 90 minutes.

What stars? If we actually had some stars, we might not be in such a mess. The podcast interview with Martin Semmens the other day didn't really betray any sense of urgency over the ongoing death spiral.

He's got all the way to the middle of October leading the worst team in the league in 2021 - I think it's fair to say the club consider him untouchable. Or can't afford the pay off.

And the previous 21 fixtures? Were they too hard as well? What is it, 18 points from our last 28 games? When your team's in a nine month death spiral, we're the only easy-looking fixture on the schedule.

Shame that doesn't include winning a few games.

You don't think the last 28 games were a time to earn his wages (highest paid manager in our history)?

For all the flak the defence rightly get, they're exposed time and again by a weak midfield pairing that is overrun and outnumbered every week. Looking like we're going to be 17th after 7 games, 0 wins. Or 18 points from 28 games, if you like. It's not working.

Said it before, but the danger of having a dogmatic "philosophy" manager is if/when their philosophy turns out to be fucking useless. Where do they go then? The egomaniac's written his own football "bible" FFS. He's not going to admit he's full of shit. It'll be the same with Leeds and Bielsa. If their form continues to flatline, he'll walk away before he admits his methods are wrong. Same as he's always done. We're a piece of piss to play against. Most sides have our number by now: let us have the ball and we haven't got a clue what to do with it as the only way we can "create" chances is by winning possession high up the pitch. Then wait for us to overcommit and hit us on the break, as we've got a two man midfield who can't run - or simply just wait for an inevitable defensive/goalkeeping mistake to provide an opportunity on a plate. The "philosophy" is actually half decent against the best sides as they want to control possession and build from the back, which gives us plenty of chances to intercept in dangerous areas - we'll probably give a reasonable account of ourselves at Chelsea. But plucky performances and the odd point here and there against the big guns is small comfort if you can't beat the lesser teams. Which we can't. Can a different manager get a tune out of this squad? We'll never know unless we try. They might unlock something by throwing the bible into the Solent and trying to play actual football, though. Something's got to give, I'm afraid.

Couldn't get a game in the championship, but here's Shane Long to save the day. Remember when we won the transfer window or something?

Long punt down the middle, Bednarek makes a mess of it, Salisu over commits, Bednarek makes a second mess of it, 0-1. Fucking useless. Good thing we're brilliant at breaking down sides...

Vincent Kompany missed about three years on and off with a recurring calf problem that they just couldn't get right no matter what they tried. They're tricky things once they start playing up.

Fair play - great effort. Now back it up with a win in the cup and against Wolves and against all odds it'll look like a pretty decent start. Back to back clean sheets: what a novelty.

Oh, we've dropped out best player so far this season. Of course we have. This fucking manager, man. Good luck to Bednarek, I guess. He's on a hiding to nothing today.

I've got a wheelie bin that'd keep McCarthy and Forster out of the side.

Obviously saving his redemption arc for the return fixture at Old Trafford. It's only right. Anyway, who doesn't enjoy watching Young Boys pump 10 men?

Keep an eye on Leeds. Lots of good quality players going forward, but their suicidal approach to defence is a relegation waiting to happen if their attacking production falters. Second best to every ball against Liverpool. As they were against Man United. Not ideal when you essentially defend one vs one. Could be dark horses for the drop.

After four games we're ahead of Norwich, Newcastle, Watford and Burnley (only played three), of the teams we're realistically fighting. It's a start.

Take the point. A clean sheet. Slim pickings. Rallied at the end a bit when Broja came on. Going to be a rough season with a side that can't defend, can't pass and create fuck all. Useless ref, btw.

Clueless, aimless, shapeless second half here. We know how this ends. Wonder what the manager spent the last two weeks working on with the team...

McLaren actually won something as a manager. Southgate will eventually bluff his way into a decent club job and be sacked within six months. Nice bloke, great at PR, but tactically inept.