qwertyell

Matt under Hasenhuttl would be interesting... Watching the high press fall apart time and again because one guy is half-assing around having a breather probably isn't sustainable and ends up with a Brantfoot style falling out. I'd take Virgil and Shearer all day.

Absolute shite for club and country last season. Surprised he's still only 20, though - seems to have been around quite a while. There's a Red Bull link, for those that like to read too much into that. I'd take a loan to make up the numbers, but I wouldn't fancy him as a starter ahead of any of our current CBs or sixes.

h/t Played okay without troubling their keeper. We still look absent of much attacking plan beyond winning the ball high. Not a lot of progressive passing building up from the back. Perraud looks serviceable. Elyounoussi isn't embrarrasing himself. Tella lively. It's all... okay.

Ha ha ha - dream the fuck on.

We had some links to Marco Kana a little while ago - plays DM and CB. Still very young, though. Given our new links with feeder club Chelsea, Trevoh Chalobah ticks the boxes.

Not if they still have at least two internationals ahead of him in his position. Which they will, because they're Chelsea. He's not going to leave for first team football and then move back to sit in the stands again.

Broken metatarsal. 10 weeks out.

Even if it's true, it's an obvious bluff. Kane desperately wants the all time Premier League goalscoring record and there's a world cup in 18 months (probably his last) - there's no way on earth he's sitting out a year at 28 by going on strike. Happy to sign a long contract when it suited him; toys out the pram when he's expected to honour that contract. The modern footballer.

He may even become a winger, Bale style, eventually. Really talented all round footballer.

Injury prone, a shadow of himself since rupturing his Achilles, and the antithesis of a Hasenhuttl player - he's a stroller who doesn't work out of possession. Fulham's fans reckoned he was the worst player on the team by a mile last season. 26 in January. He's not going to live up to his potential. Not even close.

Broken his metatarsal - out for 10 weeks. If it wasn't for bad luck he'd have no luck at all.

We were linked to Ryan Gauld on a free a while ago. He's joined Vancouver Whitecaps in the MLS. Weird career move - had interest from teams all over Europe. Ah well, I'm sure he has his reasons.

When has Djenepo ever put in a "9"? He's scored four goals total. Two coming off the bench late and one where he had to come off injured at half time. The only game he's played the majority of and scored was at Sheffield United, where he bagged a great goal but was otherwise a total liability at wing back. The rest of the time he's contributed pretty much fuck all beyond cameos.

We'd obviously miss his set pieces - and that's a key element of our meagre creative output. In general play, his attributes are ten a penny. Hard working sideways passers of no great ambition aren't hard to come by.

It is Matt Crocker.

Doubt it, just succession planning as he gets phased out. Like you say, he's 36 - and becoming increasingly injury prone in the last couple of years. One year on his contract, no chance of it being renewed.

€17.5m (£14.9m) in the end - plus potential €2.5m (£2.1m) in add ons. Officially confirmed by Lyon, who have to publish their transfer numbers by law, apparently. Great deal, that. For Palace, I mean.

Joined because there's no pathway at Chelsea. Tomori and Guehi couldn't get in. Kurt Zouma can't get in. Apparently they're about to sign Kounde to add further starting depth. Absolutely pointless being a youth CB at Chelsea.

Then there's no good answer, because we need a starting keeper, CB, wide attacker/10, and striker. And then squad cover at full back and CM.

Good enough to play in the Premier League? Hard to gauge. I mean, how many of our squad outside the first XI really qualify? In the Derby games I've seen where I've kept an eye out for him, he's been unremarkably decent. I suppose I'd liken him to another young left back - Luke Thomas at Leicester. Came in for them last season when Justin got injured and did a job. Nothing too noteworthy about his performances, but nothing disastrous either. It'd be a punt, I'm sure. But we were prepared to go into last season with Vokins as our back up LB - a lad with about 3 senior appearances under his belt. Buchanan has 40 Championship games in the bank already: for his age, he's got good experience (albeit in a struggling team) at a tough level, and you wouldn't expect him to be anything like as defensively naive as Vokins was. Anyway, it's all hypothetical, as I've not seen any links to him for us and don't expect to. Think he'll go quite cheap, though. Derby's financial situation means they've got a pretty weak negotiating hand.

Doubt we are, but I'd hope we were monitoring Lee Buchanan (20) at financially troubled Derby. Current England U21 left back, a year left on his contract, and with Celtic and Nottingham Forest sniffing about at around £1.2m. If we can't find that holy grail of an affordable back up full back who can play equally well on both sides, maybe the next best option is to invest in a talented, quite experienced English youngster at left back (with sell on potential if he develops well), in the knowledge that we've at least got some alternative options in the squad to Walker-Peters at RB if needed. Possibly a better use of our limited funds than £2m plus £4m in wages for a year of Brandon Williams.

But they'll face more competition for Haaland next summer when he has a set release clause of about £75m. This is the summer to make a move for him if you're loaded - when Real Madrid and Barcelona are struggling with their finances and can't compete. I think Chelsea have a shot at Haaland in the coming month or so. Especially if the rumours of Bayern wanting Werner turn out to be true.

Reportedly €16m (£13.7m) plus add ons, for a proven PL player with three years on his contract. That's a great deal. Meanwhile, we can't negotiate a price under £25m for a Championship player with 11 months left on his contract...

Got to find something for Kelvin to do other than drive the banter bus.

Wouldn't know about his attitude, but his few appearances for the first team were marked by his inability (unwillingness?) to run anywhere. Particularly out of possession - he was a real plodder. I think it was at Burnley he started. Their players ran past him time and again as though he was a traffic cone.