qwertyell

When has Djenepo ever put in a "9"? He's scored four goals total. Two coming off the bench late and one where he had to come off injured at half time. The only game he's played the majority of and scored was at Sheffield United, where he bagged a great goal but was otherwise a total liability at wing back. The rest of the time he's contributed pretty much fuck all beyond cameos.

We'd obviously miss his set pieces - and that's a key element of our meagre creative output. In general play, his attributes are ten a penny. Hard working sideways passers of no great ambition aren't hard to come by.

It is Matt Crocker.

Doubt it, just succession planning as he gets phased out. Like you say, he's 36 - and becoming increasingly injury prone in the last couple of years. One year on his contract, no chance of it being renewed.

€17.5m (£14.9m) in the end - plus potential €2.5m (£2.1m) in add ons. Officially confirmed by Lyon, who have to publish their transfer numbers by law, apparently. Great deal, that. For Palace, I mean.

Joined because there's no pathway at Chelsea. Tomori and Guehi couldn't get in. Kurt Zouma can't get in. Apparently they're about to sign Kounde to add further starting depth. Absolutely pointless being a youth CB at Chelsea.

Then there's no good answer, because we need a starting keeper, CB, wide attacker/10, and striker. And then squad cover at full back and CM.

Good enough to play in the Premier League? Hard to gauge. I mean, how many of our squad outside the first XI really qualify? In the Derby games I've seen where I've kept an eye out for him, he's been unremarkably decent. I suppose I'd liken him to another young left back - Luke Thomas at Leicester. Came in for them last season when Justin got injured and did a job. Nothing too noteworthy about his performances, but nothing disastrous either. It'd be a punt, I'm sure. But we were prepared to go into last season with Vokins as our back up LB - a lad with about 3 senior appearances under his belt. Buchanan has 40 Championship games in the bank already: for his age, he's got good experience (albeit in a struggling team) at a tough level, and you wouldn't expect him to be anything like as defensively naive as Vokins was. Anyway, it's all hypothetical, as I've not seen any links to him for us and don't expect to. Think he'll go quite cheap, though. Derby's financial situation means they've got a pretty weak negotiating hand.

Doubt we are, but I'd hope we were monitoring Lee Buchanan (20) at financially troubled Derby. Current England U21 left back, a year left on his contract, and with Celtic and Nottingham Forest sniffing about at around £1.2m. If we can't find that holy grail of an affordable back up full back who can play equally well on both sides, maybe the next best option is to invest in a talented, quite experienced English youngster at left back (with sell on potential if he develops well), in the knowledge that we've at least got some alternative options in the squad to Walker-Peters at RB if needed. Possibly a better use of our limited funds than £2m plus £4m in wages for a year of Brandon Williams.

But they'll face more competition for Haaland next summer when he has a set release clause of about £75m. This is the summer to make a move for him if you're loaded - when Real Madrid and Barcelona are struggling with their finances and can't compete. I think Chelsea have a shot at Haaland in the coming month or so. Especially if the rumours of Bayern wanting Werner turn out to be true.

Reportedly €16m (£13.7m) plus add ons, for a proven PL player with three years on his contract. That's a great deal. Meanwhile, we can't negotiate a price under £25m for a Championship player with 11 months left on his contract...

Got to find something for Kelvin to do other than drive the banter bus.

Wouldn't know about his attitude, but his few appearances for the first team were marked by his inability (unwillingness?) to run anywhere. Particularly out of possession - he was a real plodder. I think it was at Burnley he started. Their players ran past him time and again as though he was a traffic cone.

16 goals and 5 assists from the wing last season. Overpaid for him, yes. Carrillo-style insane money spunked up the wall for literally no return? Not even close.

Seems unlikely we enticed the guy who captained Chelsea to the u23s title with the promise of playing more u23 football in a lower division. I'd guess he'll either be part of the first team squad or loaned out to play proper football.

RB/RWB/RM, 18. He's Chelsea's current Academy Player of the Year, and they're desperate for him to stay. But he doesn't believe there's a pathway into the team for him - their pursuit of Hakimi this summer confirmed that. Chelsea's previous Academy Player of the Years: Billy Gilmour, Conor Gallagher, Reece James, Mason Mount, Fikayo Tomori, and Dom Solanke. Their Academy is the best in the country, and their best prospect is available - and probably on the cheap.

Sell. All the ability in the world is pretty useless to us if he obviously doesn't want to be here. We're going to need everyone putting themselves on the line week in week out if we're going to scrape our way to survival again. There's already enough mental weakness in the squad (two 9-0s, the most points dropped from winning positions in the league) without having our number nine going through the motions waiting for his big move.

Wait... have they been the same player all along? Now it starts to make sense... Olufunwa looks like he's got a squad number (42) and is training with the first team today. Think he's a RB.

"Scandalous". Bloody hell. Championship clubs have spent the past year with cap in hand pleading poverty and demanding that Premier League clubs give them a bigger slice of their pie to keep them in business. Even those like us who are financially in poor shape themselves. But apparently they can afford to turn down £8m and risk losing a player for nothing in a year. Huh, how about that? We're trying to sign him as cheaply as possible; they're trying to sell him as expensively as possible. No scandal here, just the reality of every transfer negotiation ever.

He left a club that just got relegated to join Liverpool.

God that's so weak. Armstrong and a past it mascot, two nothing players, and a total flop. And it doesn't even look like an area of the team we're prioritising strengthening.

When have we had quality first teamers as back up full backs? Our best premier league season ever, we had Cuco Martina and barely out of the academy Matt Targett. Someone serviceable who isn't a total liability will suffice. We've already got our starting full backs. We're not going to build a squad of 22 starters, just to cover all bases.

Sheffield United got Jayden Bogle (who would be a very decent back up option for us) from Derby for around £3m last year. Deals are out there if you're willing to look.

What a piss take. We lose one of the most promising players in our youth set up because the manager seemingly couldn't get along with him. And I see the club are already briefing against a 19 year old kid through their mouthpiece Blackmore. How brave. Still, Swiss champions - he'll be playing European football next season while we dream of a top 18 finish, so I guess it's worked out okay.

So far so good, but we can't sit in and try and hang on - Italy look too dangerous. Nice moment for the big lad, Shaw.