qwertyell

English football hasn't produced a top class keeper since David Seaman - and he came through in the 1980s. It's kind of bizarre given all the resources, coaches and facilities in this country that we can only churn out a myriad of mediocrity between the sticks, when we have some of the most sought after talent in the world in every other position. How bad must our coaching be? I know former goalkeeper coach turned professional clipboard holder Dave Watson had an influence through the England age groups for a while there, but surely he can't be totally blamed for the entire system. Of all the countries for us to be targeting a keeper from, I'd say England would be one of the worst in terms of value for money.

Asking price was rumoured to be around £6m when he was due to join Blackburn. Imagine it'll be less, though. Getting a chunky sell on clause is probably the bigger money spinner - a top season in the championship and Obafemi could move for decent money.

The only stat that matters is we got £16m for a defender who can't play in any of the defensive positions. He's genuinely worse than Jack Stephens.

Or this season's Champions League, as Young Boys won their play off last night (Jankewitz on the bench - made his first team debut last week).

Toby Savin or Josh Griffiths, I reckon.

At least we've got a new unit of measurement now. He's not Jonno Quick, he's Thierry Small.

Fuck off McCarthy. That's ridiculous. If we had a wheelie bin in goal it'd have saved it.

Whatever case you might make for some of the others retaining their place, it's indefensible that Walcott - who should've been hooked after about 20 minutes last week - is starting again. Hope he has blinder, of course. But he won't. Of course.

This boy's going to be a Chelsea or Man City player in months rather than years, isn't he?

Too much "could" and "considering". Nothing in it aside from speculation, from that article at least.

Only made his debut off the bench at the weekend. On the bench again tonight.

Both really good options for Obafemi - gets a season of regular first team minutes under his belt with the strong possibility of returning to the Premier League at the end of it.

(Longstaff) Did his knee badly soon after all that Man United speculation. Has been absolute garbage since he returned to fitness. Newcastle fans would be glad to be shot of him.

Is Walcott starting again?

Just what we need: more hipster 442 and an inability to organise a defence. Hopefully we're sounding out a few other options too.

I think I'd sit Romeu in front of the back four with a seriously limited brief. Just sit. No more ambition than that. Two of Prowse, Diallo and Sarmstrong either side of him to provide the legs and pressing. The trouble is, our wingers are absolutely appalling. So coming up with a formation that relies wholly on wide attackers for its creativity is doomed to fail. What a mess of a squad. Doesn't really suit the manager's tactics, isn't much use in any other configuration. Still, apparently we've had a great transfer window...

Is he a CB though? All his good games for Spurs have been at RB. I know he played CB as a youth, but whenever he's had a go there in men's football he's looked out of his depth. Unrelated: Sergio Romero is still available on a free.

He won't change. He's thinks he's reinvented football. Written his own handbook. Preaching his impotent gospel right throughout the club. It's farcical really. Our midfield two is always overrun in the second half. Always. Our hybrid wingers/10s are all shite, with the exception of Stuart Armstrong (not selected), and create fuck all. Our only mode of chance creation is pressing high and hoping the opposition defence make a huge mistake. That's it - that's plan A through Z. Nothing else up our sleeve. Can't break down nine men. Can't even create a chance against them if they steadfastly refuse to try and dick around at the back. And I'm too tired to delve into the chaos that is our defensive "system", that has thus far involved playing a high line with defenders who can't run, playing wingers out of position at full back, and swapping equally crap goalkeepers in and out of the XI on a whim. There's no future playing this way other than dropping out of the division. We're so easy for the opposition to pick off these days, they must be laughing their arses off.

This is a manager problem. It's not a coincidence, the repeated second half collapses, the repeated inability to hold a lead, the repeated defensive disorganisation, the repeated lack of subs or tactical intervention when the game has turned against us. It keeps happening - and it will continue to keep on happening - because the manager is a busted flush. He hasn't got a clue how to fix our shortcomings because they're his shortcomings too. Nice bloke, but he's been drowning since the start of the year while his fan club has dreamed up multiple excuses as to why he bears no responsibility for the fortunes of his team.

0-1 ht. So far so good. Wouldn't say we've been amazing, but we're bright. Bit heart in the mouth whenever Everton go direct, but we knew about their aerial strength going into the match. Ward-Prowse isn't fit. Hasn't managed to get a set piece off the floor yet. And Walcott a passenger as usual. But everyone else is putting in a shift. Lovely finish from AArmstrong - great that he's got that first goal monkey off his shoulders straight away. And then there's Livramento... Don't want to jinx the kid, but his quality is outstanding. Looks like he could play any position on the pitch. Richarlison being on a booking is something we should play on in the second half. He's a hot head. SArmstrong on for Walcott at the break, Diallo for Prowse after an hour? The longer we can hang in there, the more this crowd is going to turn against their team. COYS

Not Chambers. He's barely considered a CB these days. Played most of his football at RB or DM in the last three years. Arsenal signed him from us as a RB and tried to convert him into a CB and I don't think it's unfair to say that's been a failure. Why would we sign him back as a CB? Makes no sense.

He'll do well to play in the Champions League with Telegraph Sport. More chance than with Aston Villa, mind.

A worse version of Vestergaard. Just as slow. Brilliant.

I don't really believe him. We'll still have a domestic loan slot free. I imagine we view replacing Vestergaard as a "definite" transfer we'll make; then we'll keep a keen eye on the market right up until the end of the window and see what potential deals shake out as teams finalise their squads. For me, a CB and LB are required, and probably a CM (although S. Armstrong is potentially that's 4th number 6 option). Doesn't sound like we've got any interest in keepers this window. Mentioned it before - and I think others have too - but England u21 LB Lee Buchanan should be available from cash-strapped Derby for a drop in the ocean, still leaving plenty in the kitty for that CB replacement.

The links to Nat Phillips concern me. We have the chance to sign a replacement for Vestergaard who doesn't compromise our tactics by being slower than coastal erosion, and yet we're lining up another slow as shit CB? Only, one who is worse on the ball. Wouldn't improve us one iota.