qwertyell

Worst game I've ever seen live. My old man and I were about to jack it in and make an early exit when Saints fluked a penalty out of nowhere. Still no idea how Ruddock ended up on penalty taking duty. Not sure he ever took another one in his career.

What wouldn't count as the "deep end"? Are we waiting until January in the hope that we draw a non league team at home in the FA Cup? Newcastle have no attacking intent at all. They set up for nil-nils, hoping for set pieces or the very occasional counter attack. Honestly, they're one of the worst teams in the league to watch. If he's fit, Salisu should be relishing a relatively comfortable introduction to the league. We're probably going to huff and puff and create nothing and lose 0-1 to a late goal anyway, so might as well get him up and running.

You're right - I forgot Theo was an option now. He'd be a good fit, I think. Rather it doesn't come to that, though.

If it is concussion he won't be allowed to play against Newcastle. It'd be a nice time for Salisu to mysteriously become fit again. Vokins could come in for Bertrand - Newcastle, when they bother to attack, tend to favour the other side. Ings is obviously irreplaceable. Long has been shite in all his appearances this season.

I just can't see him working out in the PL. He's too slow to be a winger. And too easily brushed off the ball. He's got some techincal ability, but that's about all you can say for him. A really damning cock up from the recruitment department, given that they'd boasted of having scouted him for about five years before taking the plunge.

Walcott back available, but too early for Djenepo, Salisu and Smallbone (who I didn't even realise was injured - in keeping with his general anonymity as a footballer). Almost certainly unchanged. Walcott for Tella on the bench, I'd assume. Will N'Lundulu keep his spot in the matchday squad or is Obafemi back? Maybe both of them can make the bench and Long, who has been useless in every sub appearance so far, will be punted.

Is Roll-on Idowu still at the club?

Redmond's decision making and execution in the final third was pretty shit, but he was all right in general play and seemed to improve as the game wore on. Personally, I thought Walcott played better against Chelsea than Armstrong did against Everton, so I'd be tempted to make that change - but we know Armstong is generally a solid performer week in week out, so it wouldn't be surprise if he kept his place. I suppose the manager will weigh it up: would he rather have Walcott running at Matt Targett or Armstrong tracking back against Jack Grealish?

To coin a cliche, he's like a new signing. Took two years (!) to settle, but suddenly he's looking like the centre back we thought we'd bought. Four starts, three clean sheets, unbeaten. He's much more calm and confident. I suppose it was inevitable in some way: if Hasenhuttl can make Stephens (temporarily) into a half decent defender, you'd think he could do wonders with someone with more to work with. More than happy to have been proven (hopefully not temporarily) wrong - Vestegaard has been different gravy this season. Keep it up, you big lunk.

Professional job in the second half - albeit the contest was over after Digne thought (and still thinks) he could surf on Walker-Peters' ankle. Not sure how Redmond was Motm, as he decision making in the final third was appalling, but he kept going and started to look a bit more switched on the longer the game wore on. Prowse the best player - he was everywhere. Lovely cameo from Diallo. Yes, it was ten minutes against ten men, but he looked smooth, confident and fit like a glove. Everton are nowhere near the real deal. I thought they'd struggle with Richarlison missing. Their squad depth up front is shite and it showed. All they had up their sleeves was humping in crosses to Calvert-Lewin, and Vestergaard had his number all afternoon. What a nice day it's turned out to be...

So far so good. Feels like we're not entirely at our best - Redmond and Armstrong have been poor; Romeu and Adams have taken some heavy touches - but deservedly lead. Feels like we'll need another goal just to be sure. Everton have been dangerous down the right, where Armstrong has abandoned KWP, and they're a threat from set pieces. Come on, Saints, bring it home.

It's a bold font choice from the work experience kid with PS2 pyjamas.

Still not seen much evidence that Salisu is particularly quick, but he's certainly a unit and a half. Been a while since we've had two centre backs in the squad who can, theoretically, physically dominate.

Wasn't very good against Liverpool. Does anyone think he'd be a Ralph kind of player if he was still here? Not sure his work ethic out of possession would fit our brave new world.

£60m is fine. There's only a few clubs who would pay that for a 29 year old with dodgy knees, and frankly they'd be the clubs we'd be powerless to hold off if they were interested regardless of a release clause. At least this way, they know the price, we don't have to negotiate (not our strength) and we can make plans for, say, signing three new starters (in the price range we normally operate in).

They'll be without Richarlison, though - and there's no obvious like-for-like replacement in their ranks. Iwobi is slow as shit, Walcott has joined somebody else, I forget who. Bernard has Jake Hesketh's body, only weaker. Credit to Everton, they've started the season well, but they're not too special. We can have a good day against them if we turn up. Goalkeeper's a total clown.

Absolute bottle job from Spurs. That's why they'll never win anything. No leaders. Still, good news about that "midfield general" they signed to shore up things...

Should've been years ago. Our fabled youth development has been in total disrepair since Georges Prost left.

Defensively horrific at times, but we were actually pretty decent with the ball for large periods. I wasn't on board with the Walcott signing - and his pace has definitely fallen off - but credit to him: he got better and better as the game wore on. A well deserved point - could've been more if Bednarek in particular had put in a semi competent shift at the back. Lampard won't last Christmas. Can't organise a defence to save his life. He's a shit Kevin Keegan. Good game. Well worth the zero pounds I paid for it.

So naive. Vestergaard caught upfield - obviously the counter was on. We had two or three chances to foul and take a booking for the team but no-one reacted at all. Ridiculous defending.

At least those Bednarek to Chelsea rumours can be put to bed now. Done like a kipper. Might have to get Diallo into the action early - we've got no mobility in the central areas whatsoever. Chelsea are all over us. Might have been different if Adams hadn't missed his customary sitter, but I'm told we shouldn't expect any better from a £15m striker.

Jack Bycroft played for England u19s last year. Out on loan at Weymouth this season.

Worth a gamble at that price, sure. But given that he's a husk of the goalkeeper he was before fracturing his ankle and his confidence is shot to shit, they'll be taking on a big wage for potentially damaged, unusable goods - which is unlikely be viewed as a great deal.

They're setting the ground work for normalising charging you for a Sky/BT subscription and moving all the meaningful games to PPV once the pandemic has passed. This is the future.

Could've fooled me with the way he's half-heartedly ambled around for Everton. He's 31 and playing out time in his career. If Ings got injured, I'd certainly back him to be more effective in that role than the three other goal-shy strikers we've got on our books who I doubt will score 5+ all season. But it's not a move that makes much sense in relation to the manager's aggressive, high press against the ball - Walcott is perhaps the most namby-pamby, after-you-Claude, ducking-out-of-challenges player I've ever seen. Hey ho. Underwhelming, but what can you do?