qwertyell

They're setting the ground work for normalising charging you for a Sky/BT subscription and moving all the meaningful games to PPV once the pandemic has passed. This is the future.

Could've fooled me with the way he's half-heartedly ambled around for Everton. He's 31 and playing out time in his career. If Ings got injured, I'd certainly back him to be more effective in that role than the three other goal-shy strikers we've got on our books who I doubt will score 5+ all season. But it's not a move that makes much sense in relation to the manager's aggressive, high press against the ball - Walcott is perhaps the most namby-pamby, after-you-Claude, ducking-out-of-challenges player I've ever seen. Hey ho. Underwhelming, but what can you do?

Five years ago. Signing has beens doesn't tend to work out well.

Where the fuck did that come from? Romeu upping his game now he's got stronger competition than Will Nothingbone? We needed that.

He's never been unlucky. He's a terrible finisher.

Twitter thinks we're in for Walcott. Surely not. Well on the downslope of his career.

Really weak defender. I mean, that's where he'll end up if he's to have any kind of career - he doesn't have the skills to be a top class winger. But as things stand, he's in limbo: not good enough to get a game as an attacker or a defender. Poch thought he could "Danny Rose" him and turn a mediocre winger into an attacking full back, but Mourinho seems unconvinced that's even possible. Sessegnon's got to fancy the physical challenge of defending first of all, which he absolutely doesn't. He plays like he doesn't believe he belongs there. I don't see what he'd bring to us. He wouldn't make the first XI. He wouldn't be first reserve for any of the wing positions. And he's nowhere near being a PL quality left back. So what's the point?

He's skint. Personally $450m in the hole. Think about that: the guy in charge of the largest nuclear arsenal in the world is effectively owned by whoever owns his debt. Reassuring...

It's true to a degree - he ruptured his Achillies right at the very end of 18/19, and would've probably missed all of last season if lockdown hadn't happened. "Never been the same" is a bit premature; he's only made three starts since the injury and hasn't completed 90 minutes yet. It's a long way back from the injury he had - that's primarily why Chelsea want to loan him out: he needs game-time and lots of it, and they can't afford to give him the minutes here and there when they're under pressure to win every week. I don't think it would be a good loan on a few grounds. Regardless of the serious injury he's slowly coming back from, he's had a poor fitness record all his career. Mainly, though, I just can't picture him fitting into Hasenhuttl's tactics as he doesn't work off the ball. He's a stroller. Would be an odd gamble.

If we got them both, that would certainly give the squad some depth and options. But if it only had to be one, Diallo is the crucial deal. I'm a big fan of RLC, but he can't play as a six. Doubful he can play as an 8 in a midfield two. Silky skills, but he's got no engine and a pretty unconvincing workrate out of possession. As an alternative to Armstrong, he could work. Diallo - or a player of his ilk - fills a role where we're desperately short.

But no Salisu...

Tella's not even quick, from all I've seen. Looks a long way short of being even a lower league player at present.

As things stand today we definitely haven't. We could sign the 2-3 players the manager says we need. They could be absolutely cracking deals, taking the football world by surprise with their ambition and audacity. Anything could happen in hypothetical land. But the trend at the club in the last few years suggests it probably won't.

Really? Selling one of only three senior midfielders and not having any other credible options in the squad for the entire season isn't a shambles? We're one injury, suspension or loss of form away from playing Will Smallbone every week. In midfield. In men's football. In the Premier League. Will fucking Smallbone.

He had a terrible game, yes (along with Armstrong). But Djenepo was probably our best player against Spurs the previous week.

Then you've never seen Davies play. He's got no pace at all. He's Prowse of five years ago (sideways and backwards passing, can't tackle, feeble, completely ineffective) without the set piece ability. I can't think why we would have any interest in him. Everton fans who watch him week in and week out would drive him down here themselves.

Choudhury at least has some of the attributes we can use: good engine, workrate, and a physical (sometimes too physical) ball winner. He'd be Romeu with legs. And hair. Davies is just nothing. Doesn't defend or attack. Stealing a living.

Adams is bang average. And not in a particularly useful way like Brett Ormerod or Paul Rideout. And he's not some youngster who's "guaranteed to improve". He turns 25 this season. Heavy touch, no pace, doesn't score. Not a great combination for a striker. The amount of love he's getting for winning a few tussles in the centre circle is just weird - like all those people praising Shane Long for his hustle as he goes another 30 games without scoring... If Ings gets injured, we're absolutely screwed. None of our other forwards will score 5+.

Bank the points - but that was one of the poorest quality games I've seen. Both sides made controlling the ball look like an entirely foreign concept to them. I lost track of all the heavy touches, misplaced passes and farcically overhit simple through balls. The main culprits for us were Djenepo and Armstrong, who were absolutely hopeless in everything they did. They played like the ball was a live grenade and their boots were on the wrong feet. I remain mystified as to the appeal of Adams. He doesn't score, has got the touch of a baby elephant, and was easily outpaced by Burnley's not particularly quick centre back when he finally seemed to have the run on him. Is he really the best we can do? Vestergaard was the MoM. We desperately needed his aerial strength - especially as McCarthy lost his bearings and flapped uncomfortably at numerous crosses. Anyone who finishes below us and Burnley will go down.

McCarthy... Fucking hell.

Shocking low quality game - fortunately for us Burnley have got a few more carthorses that we have. Going to need that second. There's no way they won't shithouse a goal from somewhere. "Soft penalty" would be my guess. Armstrong and Djenepo haven't brought their feet tonight, but as we have no alternatives on the bench, we'll just have to hope they remember how to control the ball after the break. Hard to pick anyone that's playing well. Vestergaard's going all right, to be fair.

The guy who can't get in a rubbish Championship side? The guy who is so useless with the ball at his feet he managed to fracture his ankle kicking it? (And has never fully recovered from the injury). That guy? Butland's a write off. Even moreso than Forster.

Rudiger's been a shambles since a long term injury. Tomori would be a better loan. Right sided, pace to burn, would compliment Salisu and a high line perfectly. I think he was name-checked on here at the start of last season as someone the club were looking at (in loan, before Danso happened). He's supposedly available...

Could we really not compete with that? £1.5m to a team that finished 9th in a farmer's league and aren't in European competition. I appreciate Monaco's probably nicer at this time of year than Ocean Village, but still...

Oh dear. Davies is like early era Prowse: neat, slow, feeble sideways passer. And with no set pieces to redeem him. If we're signing him to rotate in here and there to give Prowse a rest, fair enough - he's better than Smallbone, hard as that is to imagine. If we think he's a starter in the 6, we're going down. Has no defensive attributes whatsoever.