JohnnyFartPants

I have neither a left once again or a right once again.

My right what?

I think you may well mean "you're right" unless of course you have not finished the sentence and you are about to say "your right testicle" for instance.

It sounds like her spine is well biffed up.

4-1

Still looks to me as if you changed 11 to 21 which is adding 10 in my book.

It will not be his last live performance at all though. He will keep doing the circuits now for years. I can remember when Take That came back and everyone was told it will be a one off just to help sell their tour. It was a sales ploy. He will make a new album and then tour again afterwards. I hope his nose falls off when hitting a high note.

That's an odd way to sign off. Each to their own.

That would be "chocks away" I think. Unless of course you are referring to a cheap cut of beef from around the shoulder area, that for some reason you are discarding?

I tried really hard to get into horse racing a while back but it really is an old mans sport and full of hot air and guff. Lots of wrinkly old men constantly telling you how much they have won, never what they lost, yet wearing threadbare clothes and most of them of dubious personal hygiene levels.

What is the crux of all this moaning?

If I have moved jobs by then I would consider it. It seems as if being totally talentless at football is no bar to doing it, which is handy!!

Yes, and dyslexia.

I must admit I don't get that, unless you are being knocked out for another operation and then the epidural is being put in for pain relief for your recovery period afterwards. Am I in the right ball park here?

Rice, yes, but pasta, no way matey. Stop this practise at once. If you took a really fit doris home and she saw you doing that she would think you have that obsessive disorder thing or worse she may think you are a spinabifida case. She probably wouldn't actually, but you get the picture, surely?

Agreed. I now watch normal tv programmes and wonder if he or his people will have noticed something I have just noticed and whether it will make his show.

You rinse pasta?

Nice bloke.

I used to think so but I have really warmed to him. Comic genius to be honest.

Is it just me that finds this shape so frustrating to eat? It seems to do all it can to get away when you try to eat it. Short of stabbing every piece through the middle with a fork, it is impossible to trap.

I couldn't resist. I have now quoted you on it.

I went for the swimming pool cut and really regret it now.

At least you have identified it as a weakness. It's a good first step.

Do you need all three or can you excel in any one direction?

Why not become one then?