DT

Utterly disgraceful performance. They pass, we hoof. No midfield, toothless attack, porous defense. Marking non- existent. And I'm sorry but whoever thought Hammond was a footballer needs eyes tested. Get Di Prado off. We don't need a performance like that to motivate. As I said before, it's defense where we need the reinforcements. Still, I do have money on 3-2...

And made me get those brilliant Patrick boots.

Keegan totally transformed the club. Effect lasted for decades.

For money and football please see court coverage of Harry's dealings at Pompey today. Amazing.

Puncheon is so aptly named it's untrue. I would like to land it on him.

Mini CEO...is that the hatchback version?

I hope we stay firm and that Rickie is not tempted. V destabilising if true. And maybe why we're so keen on Hooper.

@segalmark @westhamfootball Next up: Southampton reject West Ham approach for Rickie Lambert source: Editor of MirrorFootball.co.uk, Games Editor of Sunday Mirror. Hibernating music journalist. Semi-professional West Ham fan. Views expressed are strictly my own

Christ. Really, really hope not.

Still enough to beat Dunfermline.

Geez those planes are QUICK nowadays

'We lost our hearts to a star called Hooper.' Early song shout.

Got funny feeling we will get Hooper. Other one surely a 'look, we might spend it elsewhere, you know, Jocks' trick.

Borlotti. (Beans, not new transfer target.)

If it is Iago, it is almost certainly the first Shakespearian character we have ever signed. I think Romeo Beckham will be the second.

Great deal by the club. Only concern is what Harry wants from us. Is it a certain youth player? Don't trust saggy chops an inch.

I mean, chanes are great, aren't they?

I think he's got a point. We don't have a chane. No chane at all. If only...

Have just watched the highlights. How is that Guly do Prado keeps looking absolutely shocking, and keeps scoring? Amazing.

I'm surprised he doesn't fall over.

Still a bit worried that after this signing we're after another striker. As in, worried that Lambert is off. Does anyone know that he definitely is not?

Kasper Schmeichel? I really hope so.

Personally I hope the signing is a defensive one. A few injuries revealed our frailties in this area, and I still think we need a new keeper, so would like to see more of this young Dutch chappie.

Crooked. Face (hello lawyers).

Kevin Keegan to come out of retirement.