DT

I'd rather have Courage Best

He is a truly appalling presenter. And fat.

That's how much a chap on Radio 4 said the Premier League clubs will get as a result of the £3bn deal signed for TV etc rights by Sky and BT yesterday, a 73 per cent rise on the figure agreed last time. Wow. Thank god for promotion, because the rest of the leagues get nowt. What shall we spend it on? Subsidising tickets? New keeper? Better beer?

Too predictable. Hope chain doesn't lead to Adkins to Everton though. I have a sneaky feeling that Spurs will go for Gus Poyet

We definitely need a new keeper. But he's not value at that price for the simple fact that it would create major ripples/mean we would have to raise salaries across the board.

yes please

Second favourites to go down though, behind Reading (Blue Square punters must have seen how we have done nothing about the defence yet). Porsche might have to wait.

Lesley King released. Robs to Reading. Would be good for a season

J Rod sounds like something a plumber should use

Or Jonathan Ross

Hope it's not Jim Rosenthal

Perhaps he hasn't been told yet

That's what's known as a booty call

One would hope so, but it might equally be one of - sharp intake of breath - Sven or someone's first signings? Really hope it has Adkins' fingerprints on it.

I've got a funny feeling that he'll go elsewhere and we're being used. Hope not. Excellent player.

Me against Peterbrough Utd away. My avoidance of all radios and TVs ensured the win and thus promotion. If you're reading this, Nicola, you can send my bonus anytime.

Would be total disaster

Maybe we're after two players. Double Dutch. *gets coat* Hope it's a keeper if it is a player-looking-at-visit

It's the tequila

Is it April 1?

Saints should really be in all white. With halo. Red and white stripes are ace though. Leave them alone. Obv

Sell. Won't cut it in Prem. loses his man too often. And we remember that goal, no? That one. Yes that one.

Oohlala...na

That's a LOT of kit

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qqMF-sqPGec/SxAnyoPjIOI/AAAAAAAAB88/mPfCE7roPH8/s400/vegas.jpg 'when are they coming?'