Ivan Katalinic's 'tache

Agreed you can't turn ability on and off but you sure as Hell can turn effort off, once you're nice & secure...

Got the suitors noticing him during his short spell at Fulham and then gets his big wonga contract at Reading. Could he 'do a Saga'?

Are you sure he hadn't let a sneaky one go & was waiting to be found out?

I thought this was going to be a Rolf Harris thread... Still, Dennis is just as comical. Good luck to the fella.

Don't see any problems with the list. We are Southampton, we always finish 2nd.

I can see it now: Rupert Lowe, "Swinging tales from the Itchen Bridge"

Upson is a left sided CB - would this mean him starting ahead of Jos of being cover for Jos? Or would it simply be down to who performs better in pre-season? Would be an interesting signing and good, if he can re-capture former glories.

Few Twitter rumours about saying we're close to signing him. Not sure if there's any truth in it, doesn't fit our general policy but would give us some Prem experience.

Redmond would be a good addition but feel the OP may be teasing us rather than providing us with a snippet...

How about singing his name to Hey Jude? Na na na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na Jay Rod!

Really hope the deal's been done but could the pic be of a different deal we've done recently?

If Jay Rod has cost £7 mill to Rory's £4 mill, he should be able to reach Nottarf Krap with his long throw. Great stuff!

Now, if you say it, "Mr Team-news", I'm rather inclined to believe it!

Lol. I've always thought Mrs Merton would make a great football interviewer. Would be a million times more entertaining!

Is it because it hurts his foot to have to kick the ball so far, so often?

Sometimes I wonder if these girls are only after their money...

Know what you mean. Seeing it on the Beeb has given me hope, though. That and his appearance in the West Quay with his fit bird!!!

Twas tongue in cheek although probably could've done with a winky face thing to emphasise that, I'll agree!

Finally some substance to the rumours that he's actually down here!!

Let's hope so...

Saints sign James Chester from Hull, whose nickname is 'Col'?

But our current goalie was assessed as having a better season in the same league last year, by his peers...

Given the pattern of previous enticements of this kind, prepare to be underwhelmed...

How about wingdings? Would keep the commentators on their toes...

Mirror saying Hughton wanting to take Curtis Davies with him to Norwich. Might be one to cross off there.