Ivan Katalinic's 'tache

Don't think so. Think that's just someone quoting an out of date report. The same South London paper then ran a story saying he was on the verge of signing. Phew! Got me worried then!

So, to clarify things, as they stand: We have bid 1.2 million or 1.5 million for Fonte, which has been accepted, and he is currently having a medical with us or training with Palace and will sign today or stay in South London, as he doesn't want to leave the area?

Isn't it nice to (supposedly) be cherry picking the players of other teams in financial difficulty after others did it to us?!

It's Brian Howard because you know it's Brian Howard or it's Brian Howard because you're guessing it's Brian Howard?!

I used to find it both funny and embarrassing, in equal measure, when we had Dennis Rofe out at half time geeing up the fans and doing the half-time entertainment. Seemed so bizarre that one of the coaching staff was reading out birthdays rather than dealing with tactics and shouting at players, if they were underperforming...

No way, Jose! I still find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that we're now a wealthy club, who can asset strip other sides after so many years being fodder for others. Welcome Jose, if indeed this does come off; may you be the first of a few decent signings this January window.

Is that Fonte from Palace or Fontaine from Brizzle City? Fryatt?! Thought he was doing well for Leicester! He must be costing a bit, if true.

If true, could be a case of us agreeing a fee and Ward not fancying dropping down a division. A swift change of target to Whitbread would be a wise move methinks, if this does turn out to be the case.

What I'd like Markus to do, is feign interest in acquiring P*mpey under the pretence of merging the clubs into a South Coast super club. Then, when he's invited onto the Nottarf Krap turf, to be introduced to their fans, I'd like him to grab a mic and start singing "don'tcha wish your owner was rich like me, don'tcha, don'tcha". It's at this point that Markus might need a bloody good escape plan but it would be worth it.

Maybe the bids are for Ward and Stock and Pericard is additional? Please. And don't stop their either. Barnard would be good too. And a right back. Or is that plain greedy?

Hopefully it was Alan Pardew or Nicola Cortese who did it!!

Brian Stock would be a phenomenal signing. Isn't he a Saints fan, by the way...?

What makes you say that when Solent twitter seems to think it's virtually a done deal?

Does this mean he's dodging the snow showers as we speak, to come for talks, Tac-tics?

TBH, I think he could turn out to be a useful addition. When we had him first time, he was coming back from a long time out and we used him as a bits and pieces player, which wouldn't have allowed him to get proper match fitness or any semblance of consistency. When he played regularly at the Skates, alongside Todorov, when they were promoted, he did well and scored goals. I hope he does the same for us as the much maligned Fuller did for Stoke.

If they can't make it, we should be awarded the match. Yeah.

Sounds promising, if what you've been told is true!

£250k would be a steal considering the no. of goals he's scored this year.

There's a striker called Liam Henderson at Watford, who's young and fairly well thought of.

I've a feeling Lee Barnard would be a decent shout. Would do well alongside Lambert and Southend need the cash.

Secure Retirements?

Penalty shootouts are great. At the moment. And not in playoff semi-finals.

Legend! (for this evening)

Isn't his younger brother Daryl an apprentice with us? If so, 'ave a word...

Need to add Cosimo Sarli to that list. Then I'd vote!