Stripey McStripe Shirt

The brand of soap, Imperial Leather. Why isn't it Imperial Lather?

That is highly insulting (to mince).

The cricket equivalent of Russ-ball? Don't worry about trying to score, just pass it around the back for hours until you bore the opposition into submission.

Thought that waiter in the foreground looked dodgy.

Even when the pressure is off and you start to think England aren't utterly shit, you soon realise that, actually, England are still utterly shit (bar Root this test).

Not me. I didn't watch or listen because I forgot we were playing today 😎

Because pretty much anyone who has ever followed English football will know who you mean, unless it's specified otherwise?

I assume it's unrelated to the fact that a Venezuelan won the Nobel Peace Prize...

I've got a friend who's travelled out for days 3 and 4. He's also planning to watch the Aussie Open tennis with hopes of watching Jack Draper...who has pulled out injured today...

I know Root got a century earlier in the series, and seems more professional than most of the others, but for me he has been one of the biggest disappointments of the Ashes so far.

Bloody hell, it's be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.

Spending Christmas Eve in hospital with my youngest child, only to get discharged and go home, just in time for my eldest to vomit on me.

My heart bleeds...

Yep, woke up at about 3pm for a wee and had a quick check of the score, pleasantly surprised that they were still going. Obviously woke up a few hours later and not even remotely surprised we lost, fairy comfortably.

Yep. Especially the work "deck" which sounds too much like dick.

I can vouch for this. Well the sausage bit, not the rest of the nonsense.

Watched a bit of it. Looked more like a dance off than a boxing match for the majority of it. AJ clearly wasn't trying the first 4 rounds, and gradually got frustrated with the bell end.

His penis must be so tiny.

At the moment I'd fancy Cameron Archer to be more effective.

Erm, yeah about that...

Lol. Jokes on you, England will have already lost the cricket by the time this is on.

Yeah, but you have to verify your age for that these days.

Will anyone stay up tomorrow to watch the Jake Paul v Anthony Joshua fight? Can't say I'm massively in to boxing (I refuse to pay to watch box office stuff in particular), but I hate to admit that I'm intrigued by this fight. Joshua should, presumably, win comfortably by knock out. If he doesn't it's either one of the biggest shocks in sporting history or (much more likely) embarrassingly scripted. I don't know much about Jake Paul other than the fact that he looks like a fucking bell end. Hopefully he'll get walloped by the first punch.

Snicko? More like Shitto.

Switched on just in time for tea. What a pleasant surprise, only 5 down and not a single duck. 🫠