hamster

Would love to see him at SMS one day, we were made for each other, right down to the funny accents. Waaahhh

provident

Fraid so, and it wasn't strictly speaking accidental. Happened whilst searching him at the airport, i was very careful not to search him so thoroughly on future occasions It was similar to this incident and I swear it is true: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mlch97EQDA

girl

**** Tydeman. Poetry in motion.

never cums

If true then I would feel like this

Tomorrow

F**k Off Durleyfoss. there you go, you've now been told to f**k offf by someone who has met Buzz Aldrin and touched Matthew LeTissiers penis (me not you) amongst other amazing things. me: danced in a fountain in Munich Kissed my future wife (this one not the other one) when I was aged only 13 and she was 18!! been arrested kissed another man (didn't really like it) dressed as a woman on more than one occasion (liked it) been on an aeroplane married divorced been slapped in the face really hard by a woman skived off school (for 1 whole afternoon) got 3 CSE's got 1 'O' Level listened to my sister having sex from inside her wardrobe flew an aeroplane (this may have been when I was 26) almost caught a golfball in my mouth (not planned, just a good shot), claret everywhere crashed a motorbike under a transit van crashed a Cortina under an arctic accidentally *** ** ***** ** someone's *** inadvertently tasted my own 'ahem' brushed my teeth with a toothbrush that my (EX) wife used for cleaning up cat poo been involved in a bar brawl

Just Mike will do it for a soapy tit **** apparently.

What's your Mum's name Dog? assuming the message is aimed at her (Hilda's) kids ? with deepest sympathy from auntie (insert mum's name) xx

anyway, i have a prob with my boiler tonight (keeps going out) and would like to offer mrs b the opportunity to pop around and bleed my system, it's only a 5 minute job and i am willing to pay your taxi fare home.

...doesn't usually stop ya.. ;-0

M t a i c

Maggie Thatcher (&) Arthur's Insane Coalminers

Matt Tissier Attracts Inbred C ***s Margery Thomas Anally Intakes C**ks Mrs TooFar Actually Is Crumpet

Just been perusing the top 50 viral images and this is my favourite: Yours?

first bike! No disrespect Glasgow and I am sure that you consider yourself competent but there really is more to riding a bike safely than having the licence, you need to know how to tame the beasts and that can take many thousands of miles of riding imho. In my youth you could jump on a tweaked Fizzie at 16 which could be too much for some of my spotty friends who learnt the hard way, at 17 it was straight up to a 250, then along came the mighty 250LC's to make the authorities rethink the licence laws. Without doubt a much better system is in place now but I would be surprised if one really could jump on a 650 without ever actually owning their own bike and gaining invaluable experience. btw my first 'bike' was a Vespa Ciao. NOT a scooter (I would never admit to owning one of those things) it was a step-thru: This is not me riding one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmydy9ewclI

Just a head's up that from Wednesday next, Sainsbury's and Tesco are doing 5p off a litre of fuel vouchers when you spend £50 in store. I was gonna fill up on the way home tomorrow but will just chucka tenner in to see me through now.

ski

You silly sausages. Had a great time in Brighton. Went to In Vino as recomended, cheers BLINK. Lovely lovely food, in aprticular my firts time having fois gras. Our table was the only one where the candle wasn't alight so I lit it. Within seconds black smoke was drifting around the room and the smell was horrible, then little bits of black sooty stuff started to land on the white tablecloth. I quickly blew it out only to discover that it was in fact a plastic battery operated candle! I did tell the waiter and added that imo it was a fire risk, which really impressed him. Best meal was an Italian though, 2 courses and glass of wine £9.99. Very animated waiter who flirted with all the ladies and offered us a 'cash deal' on the final bill. cash is King. Saw some good acoustic sets in pubs and some very good buskers too, but stay away from the really crappy karaoke place near to Jamie's gaff. Went to see this http://uk.brownpapertickets.com/event/125331 lead played by a transvestite who sang reaaly soulfully and was word perfect for the full hour and three quarters, I was busting for a pee though. I'd recomend it if you ever get the chance to see it. Would recomend the Ghost Walk, led by a local thespian in full victorian get up and cracking funnies all the way around. Artist's Quarter is a nice walk and I actually learnt a bit about modern art, having stood outside their studios on the beach and taking in exactly what theiy do when they seek inspiration. mrs h bought me some new clothes in Dirty Harry's. I only let her buy the gear after the assistant said I looked cute dressed up though, note I have a wardrobe full of garments bought on my behalf by her in a vain attempt to trendy me up in the past. I'll take a gay man's opinion over her's any day of the week. Should partly thank Turkish for this bit too after reading his 'terrace fashion' thread. Treated mrs h to a 'designer (read; bloody expensive) hair do, which she absolutely loved, her first porper hair cut since it grew back, she left with a tear in her eye which was quite a 'moment' tbh. Pulled a muscle in my back whilst there too, but all in a good cause if you get my drift, we really are getting too old for that kind of thing. ;-) Also met up with one of her cousins (who had moored their yacht in the marina), who she had not seen since being his bridesmaid about 40 years ago so all in all a pretty brilliant time had by all. I could live in Brighton. Enough attention seeking for one thread?

items such as these should be in a cabinet at the club, does NC read the forum?

skinhead

Let me know when the grass needs mowing DW. I'll send my old goat around; lawn gets mown, goat gets fed, result. We used to rent a flat (to my daughter at the time (all above board of course) and I actually paid her to mow the lawn etc as it saved me doing it. I also had a de-pressurising boiler situation which turned out to be a split diaphragm after a few 'turn tap, close tap' fixes. Should*/could have cost me a small fortune but I decided to have a go myself and she was fine with the week or so that it eventually took me to sort. Can't imagine this would have been the case with a private tenant though and mrs h was not that impressed about our gk's sleeping in a cold house with no hot water, but i ponted out to her that when I was their age.......... * i am not a corgi person

derek