dubai_phil

Story. In bar "Where loo flom?" I answer Jumeira "Where Lat?" That way I say pointing left "I flom China" Oh, is that near Sharjah? "What? loo clazy" "loo velly nice I take you home" You want to take me home - I do a cartoon survey of the "product offering" - OK then I say. "Good we go. OK. Onry 500 dilhams" Uh, sorry, I reply, no way, you want to take ME home, sorry that will cost you 1,500 Dirhams. "Wot loo no unnelstand" Oh yes my friend of course I understand now show me the money or feck off and let me watch the band...... My 21 year old son was taught that trick when I took him to the Seaview. Should have seen his face the first 3 times he used that line think there was some revenge in there somewhere... Until the 4th one got the cash out. Dad, now what the hell do I do? Well son, you're a Student and broke, she's actually quite fit. I should tell you it is a bad thing, or I could tell you not to wake me up when you get back...

Fecking Thrashed them. Now to call up some Aussie mates

Oh YES... Now could it be TWO World Cups in one summer.....

My live stream is 2 overs behind the Cricinfo text commentary... Morgan 6 phew 17 from 27 balls Saw him finis the Paks off in Dubai in no time PLEASE c'mon

lol... Had a Chocolate Bunny left over from Easter as desert, luckily saved it so my finger nails are safe! But oh crap KP & Kieswetter out, Can never make this easy can we... grr

Dear Lord we could win a World Cup here and I'm all on my own..... Obviously you're all watching telly

Grrr Lumb gone

20 runs more than they should have got Dinner was nice :-)

And made up for it. REALLY have to go and serve now how long should you let a Joint of meat stand for:-)

They bat a long way down but a great start. Crackling time. Surely we can't can we?

Thanks Trousers been looking in between cooking the Roast Pork:-)

:-) Where to start. Standard Operating Procedure in every bar when you get that Where you Flom (sic) line "I'm awfully sorry, you cannot afford me" They normally clear off... This is a rehash of a Tmes article from about 7 years ago (for which they got banned for a month), but there are more Hookers per square mile in this town than anywhere else on the planet. It is all a very big business with a whole story I can't type on a public forum as I have to live here. So the history Why? Easy - don't think simply ex-pat think of all the strict Islamic countries that surround here. A release valve. When? Started when the Berlin Wall came down. The first Russian traders arrived and bought consumer goods for cash here. Roubles to dollars were scarce in those days, the profits on the goods in Russia were huge and they quickly realised that they had a commodity back home that was in demand, created cash and so they started to send planes full of electronics out of here and bring back planes full of Women. In those days most were volunteers who could work here for a 44 day visa and make a fortune. the Russian businessmen relocated here, we had gang wars and shootings, most stayed up in Ajman and the girls stayed in Sharjah. Many stayed on and married their long term clients and now are happy in their 4x4's. Gradually it became a flood and Human trafficking became rife "Dancers & Waitresses" were recruited and forced into it. As demand grew, the "mafia" sought lower cost labouor, especially from China and a second wave arrived. All this is at the High to Medium end of the market, there were 1 & 2* hotels where they just locked up other Asian women and the labourers could be serviced for between Aed 50 and Aed 100 (8-18 quid) (Go figure). That is still rife and now this city is awash with them. Do we bother? No. Why? Well, you know the saying, Chinese Takeaways are all very well but 20 minutes later you want another one. Why do they "turn a blind eye"? Sheikh Rashid the founder of the UAE is alleged to have said along the lines of "There must NEVER be Gambling in this country, but if we are to import the millions of single male labourers that this country will need then we may need to be aware that they would need a release valve or we could have "Bigger" problems". And, in all fairness it is wrong, it is FECKING annoying when you go out BUT it does keep down the "problems" of a demographic where there are 14 men to each woman. And finally The Seaview (Our most loved place) Is a Hooker Bar. It is however also possible to see the place as a cartoon copy. hence on one level you are aware of the Sadness and exploitation, but on the other the parody is such that you CAN take your Children, Girlfriends, CEO & Clients and have a really fun evening listeing to the music. HTH

Oooh I see the Saints trust has a new Vice President. Does this mean Horton Heath has re-opened?

Oh infract infract! :butthead: Point of order, gambling and certain religions. Typical of nick, just like last year's forward line, a cheap shot and just off target. (Or was that the 80's bar for the after party after party extra time party?) TBF you were not that far off, for further info google Sharjah and One Day Cricket and Lord Condon. Which reminds me, did I tell you about the time I played cricket on a Test Match Venue? Turned the ball squarer than Warnie to Gatting I did.

Bollix, Steve is brilliant as last season shows us. Who can forget what a magnificent job he did In getting us the right Referee

Prince William slams Football Cheats http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/facup/7728790/Prince-William-warning-to-football-cheats.html

Oh wow, now HERE is a little gem.... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/leagues/premierleague/chelsea/7729348/Chelsea-Double-winner-Carlo-Ancelotti-proves-he-is-special-too.html tucked down at the bottom

Praise be to Allah (PBH) Thank God for that And a couple of trips down the Temples seems to have worked then. I'd feel really chuffed if I hadn't just wasted 3 hours of my life trying to book flights with Ryanair & Easyjet for my summer hols. Jeez, thanks to our effing internet down here blipping all the time think I ended up with more flights than Poopey will have players by Monday

Did they lose? Oh what a shame. Sorry, I had something far more important and pleasant to do this afternoon. Chose to go and have a Root Canal done, and then decided a better use of my time would be a particularly tricky game of Minesweeper. Lol at the Dundee Utd Fans dressed up as arabs waving money, where did we see that image this season?

Umm, actually you guys already did. :smt096 Now the NHS and it's agents scour the world stealing trained staff from poorer or less developed countries. Anyone noticed how many Asian staff work in the NHS? Most of them have been poached from here and further East. Many articles about staff shortages across the ME & Asia because they all get offered minimum wage in the UK with Agencies and that is trbel what they could get over here. But I am with SrS to a large extent on the student issue. Why the hell should the UK be cheaper than the rest of the EU and YOU subsidise them. Insane when you look at the published numbers that go to UK rather than the rest of the EU

Extend the runway at Eastleigh so that Emirates and others can land there and put a monorail in so us nasty foreigners we can get to the stadium and back on a day trip without having to contaminate the uberfans (or to avoid the traffic & parking problems.) Oh and have Real Ale served in the monorail

So, there's a recession. There are strikes and Volcanoes interferring with travel plans. What better time to look for a low-cost solution and opt to stay at home in England. This Saturday don't this never again in our lifetime chance to collect YOUR free Caravan. Yes, that's right, this weekend for one day only you are guaranteed your choice of availability of mobile homes to tour the unspoilt beauty of these British Isles during the upcoming summer. To take advantage of this offer just follow the signs from the M27 into Portsmouth and join the pick-a-van offerings. Delousing 'R' Us experts will be on hand to offer you exclusive discounts on fumigation and cleansing services. Holiday in Britain this year, you know it makes sense. But remember, this offer is ONLY available between 3 and 5pm this Saturday.

Ah, shame you missd the point. Hence the line about "Playing Detective". I did mention we had other threads for speculation & opinion, I was asking if we could trace the actual interviews and history to see how this became such a mess earlier this week. I did try and keep to digging

Hence the thread :-) Any idea on dates or a link?

Be careful though, your manager may decide to play you up the middle.